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Tuesday, June 18, 2019

A couple of things

Howdy all. My latest AWA e-book will be free today and tomorrow on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0834G3WVL), so if you haven't gotten one yet do so.
Also- if you are looking to watch Impact's Hard to Kill or any other event on Fite.tv, please use my referral code (http://fite.tv/invite/50v20lp). You'll get a $10 credit at signup!


Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Ted Blanchard Podcast- Wrestlefest ‘88

Hey yo. I recorded a brief podcast on the 30th anniversary of Wrestlefest at Milwaukee County Stadium. Have a listen- https://youtu.be/vKODSjor-pA
Also- my ebook of Saturday Night's Main Event reviews is finally here! https://t.co/SgmDl2H9to?amp=1

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

SNME ebook with bonus reviews available now!

At long last- my ebook of Saturday Night's Main Event reviews is finally here! https://t.co/SgmDl2H9to?amp=1
Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Saturday NIght's Main Event-The bell tolls for thee, WWF


A quick note- this is the last episode I'm reviewing before I put out an ebook of the reviews (plus bonus content). I'll make a post here when said ebook is available, and there will probably be a link on the side of this page like there is for the Clash book right now.

We get a cold open with Vince McMahon and "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Savage tells Hulk Hogan he'd be worried if he was Hulk. Even after the reunion with Elizabeth Savage is still at best a tweener here, leaning toward the heels. After running down the card we finally get the usual musical open.

Savage talks to Sgt. Slaughter, Gen. Adnan and Col. Mustafa. We see Wrestlemania VII bonus footage, of Slaughter hitting Hogan with a fireball when he headed back to the locker room. It's ridiculous they were doubling down on the Slaughter as Iraqi sympathizer shit at this point. The war was long over, Hogan had the belt- just move on.

We see the Undertaker putting Warrior in a coffin on the funeral parlor. I didn't think that had happened so soon after WM7. Warrior tells Gene his fate has not been sealed.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Ultimate Warrior- It's funny they keep hinting at, but not spelling out, what Savage did during the first match between the two at the Royal Rumble. Warrior chases everyone out as he enters. He slams Sarge off the top and clotheslines him. Warrior hits him in the belly-welly,  and hits a baaaack body drop. Col. Mustafa tries to trip Warrior and gets his attention. Warrior knocks Sarge to the floor with a punch, and throws him back in. I like how Warrior had switched to air-brushed tights at this point. It looks like he had just gone on vacation to Florida. Slaughter gets an eye poke and eye rake, and throws Warrior out. Sheik rams Warrior's head to the mat. Slaughter then posts him, and rolls Warrior in. Sarge forearms Warrior's back, and gets a backbreaker. Slaughter grabs a bearhug. Warrior punches him and gets a body slam, but sells his back. Ugh, more bearhuggery, as Paul Bearer pushes down a casket. Warrior gets free, but is shocked at the Warrior-themed casket. Slaughter knocks Warrior to the floor by the casket. Slaughter kicks away as they head to break. Sgt. tosses him back in, and Warrior starts Warrioring Up. He hits several clotheslines, shoulderblocks Slaughter, and who should pop out of the casket but Mean Mark Callous. Warrior freezes when he sees him, and Sarge attacks from behind. Mustafa, Adnan and Taker then start quardruple-teaming Warrior, ending the match. *1/2 Hulk Hogan then makes the save, and has what is probably his first physicality with Taker, as he no-sells a belt shot. Hogan then focuses on an easier target, and chases Slaughter to the back. Taker misses two elbow drops, and then Warrior can't drop Taker with clotheslines. He finally clotheslines him over the top, but he still lands on his feet.

Gene talks to Jimmy "The Mouth of the South" Hart and the Nasty Boys. They're going to beat the crazy out of them, Sags says.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper with the Bushwhackers. The Boys said they aren't nasty, but they lick Piper and he confirms their nastiness. They also try to lift his kilt, which definitely confirms their nastiness.

WWF tag team championship, Nasty Boys (c) vs. Bushwhackers- I'm just noticing the banners said "The Main Event." I wonder if this episode was going to be a Friday night special originally. Knobbs pounds on Luke but misses a corner splash. Knobbs gives him the 'Stop it Mr. Simpson" treatment in the corner.  Luke reverses a whip, and hits Knobbs. It turns into a Pier 6'er, the Boys get whipped into each other, Whackers do the battering ram, and the Nasties bail. Sags attacks Butch, who eventually hits a kneelift (!). Luke hits a clothesline and gets two. Butch hits Knobbs into the buckles, and the Whackers battering ram both guys. Knobbs kicks Luke in the head as he bounces off the ropes, and the Nasties doubleteam. Knobbs gets two off of an elbowdrop. Butch breaks up a pin by Sags. Both men tag, and Butch pounds Knobbs in the solar plexus. Sags comes in and gets clotheslined, but Sags breaks up a pin attempt. With the ref distracted, the Nasties doubleteam, but Luke breaks up a pin. A  fan facing the hard camera is waiving their chair (unfolded into the sitting position). ECW! ECW! Luke knocks Butch on top of Knobbs for two. Luke gets chided by the ref, and Knobbs pins Butch with an assist from Sags. No star. This was garbage, and all four men were in the ring for most of the match.

Gene talks to the Undertaker and Paul Bearer. They use plenty of puns about death.

20-man Battle Royal- Earthquake gets an entrance, followed by Hogan. Hulk points at everyone on the apron, and goes after Quake. Hennig stands on the apron. Hogan holds Quake as Jake Roberts punches him. Duggan takes a shot at Hogan but it's no sold. Kato works over Jake in the covrner. Jannetty headscissors Paul Roma over the top, and he in turn pulls out Jannetty. The Heenan family gangs up on the British Bulldog, but Jake saves him. Hogan and Bulldog then doubleteam Hennig. Kato punches and kicks Hogan. They really need some eliminations here. Michaels punches Hennig, but almost gets thrown out by a gang of grapplers. Hogan flips Hennig back in, and he and Valentine pinball Hennig. The Lord of War throws out the Bulldog. Haku kicks Jimmy Snuka through the ropes to the floor. Quake dumps Roberts out as he battles Hercules. Valentine attacks Quake, and Jake brings Lucifer the Snake out to scare Quake. All the wrestlers left move to the side away from the snake. Tugboat prevents Hogan from elminating Quake, and they slug it out. Warlord then hammers on Hogan's back, until Hulk throws him out. Barbarian dumps the Texas Tornado, no doubt bellowing, "Kerry Von Erich! Do you want to... get back in the ring?" Quake dumps Duggan. Hogan rakes Quake's eyes, and finally eliminates him. Hogan tosses Kato, and then Boat dumps Hogan! I really thought it was the other way around. Hmmm. Shawn Michaels, of all people, then dumps Boat. Bossman throws out Hercules right after. This was probably the unofficial start of Boat's heel turn, and an early sign that they could someday push Michaels. Hennig dropkicks Boss Man into a Barbarian backdrop out of the ring. Haku accidentally chops Perfect, and then Michaels dropkicks the future Meng out. HBK punches away at Hennig, and tosses Hennig over, but he tops on the mat. Michaels ropkicks him, but Hennig irish whips him to the corner. Michaels does a Flair flip over the corner, Hennig misses one shot to him but knocks him out with another. That was like a WCW Revenge sequence there. Hennig and Barbarian work over Valentine, but Hennig dropkicks Barbarian by mistake and Valentine tosses him out. The two remaining men chop away at each other, and Hammer atomic drops him into the corner. Hammer winds up and drops two elbows. Hammer tosses him but Hennig bounces right back in from the apron. Both men flip over the top, but only one of Hennig's feet touch the floor. Call it ** because of the last few minutes, but this thing dragged until they cleared some dead weight.

Ted Dibiase vs. Bret Hart- Dibiase now has Sensational SHerri with him. They lock up, and Dibiase knees bret in the gut. He hammers on Bret in the corner, but Bret hiptosses him and hits a clothesline., then another. Bret clotheslines him to the floor, and slingshots out onto Ted. You don't do that to a Ted! Back in, Bret locks a headlock for two. Dibiase then gets a near fall himself. Bret shoulders him down, but Sherri trips him. Bret pulls her up, and Dibiase hits a high knee. Bret gets two off of that. Bret gets a shoulderblock but then gets stun gunned. Dibiase piledrives Bret for two. Dibiase sidesteps Bret on a rollup attempt, sending the Hitman crashing to the floor. Outside, Dibiase rams him to the steps. Sherri then kicks Bret while the ref is distracted. SHerri also chokes him while he lays on the apron, and later forearms him. Dibiase rams him to the buckle, and chops him. Bret then takes his pattened sternum bump, as Dibiase readies the Million Dollar Dream. Bret rammed him backward to the buckles to break free, but I was hoping he'd do the flip-over manuever he got Steve Austin with. Dibiase tries an axehandle form the middle rope, but Bret hits him in the belly-welly. Bret punches away, and hits an atomic drop. A back elbow gets two. Russian Legsweep (for those playing Five Moves of Doom bingo) gets two. Bret then hits a backbreaker and drops an elbow from the middle rope for 2.9. Sherri trips Bret again, and he goes outside after her. Dibiase hits him with an axehandle.  Piper runs down to ringside from commentary, and chases Sherri away from ringside. Dibiase then goes after Piper, and Bret follows him out. The two men slug it out in the aisle and get counted out. **3/4. A better finish would've helped, but they just didn't hit the gear you'd think those two would reach together, if that makes sense.

Tito Santana vs. The Mountie- If the future of SNME was going to involve more Mountie/Rougeau matches, then to quote Seth Rollins: Burn it dowwwwn! Lockup, Jacques shouts his name in Tito's face, and gets punched. El Matador is now my favorite wrestler. Atomic drop and two dropkicks, and Rougeau cowardly escapes. Tito tries to knock Mountie and Jimmy Hart's noggins, but he hits Tito low. Tito rams him to the apron, and tosses Mountie back in. Another low blow. C'mon ref. Tito punches the jerk in the mouth, but a monkey flip by Tito is blocked. A kick to the ribs, and Mountie half-nelsons Tito and rams his head into the buckle. Jacques goes for a splash that was obviously going to be blocked. Tito hits the flying forearm, but that little runt comes in to break up the count. Tito hits him with a forearm, but that lousy fake cop shocks Tito in the throat, complete with fake sound effect. -*****. Like Macho Man said, "somebody wake up Jack Tunney!" 

Gene asks Slaughter if there are any depths to which he won't stoop? Slaughter doesnt really answer, but Sheik's reaction behind him are funny.
Piper talks to Hogan. It's like an '87 Piper's Pit! Apparently Slaughter committed crimes against mankind when he torched Hogan's poster? Maybe he burglarized Mick Foley's house? I'm just grasping at straws here, plus I don't care at all about this feud. 
Vince and Macho wrap things up. Like, forever, but they likely didn't know yet the show was getting canceled. 

In my mind, this was the last time SNME aired on NBC. Though Wikipedia lists more episodes in the horrible decade called the Oughts, I'm not concerning myself with those (until God willing, there is an updated edition of my ebook). There were two more episodes that aired on Fox, so we still need to deal with those someday. But I need to tie a bow on this ebook.

Monday, June 25, 2018

The Main Event #5- I hope you're really into '91 Hogan, and his feud with Slaughter



We start with footage of Hulk Hogan on (I believe) a USO tour. He even did a zipline-like thing.

Hosted by Vince McMahon and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Piper has a yellow ribbon on, like the stripe down Sgt. Slaughter's back.

Earthquake/Dino Bravo vs. Tugboat/Hulk Hogan- This is the typical SNME blowoff months after a feud ended on the house show circuit, though I guess Hogan and Quake faced off at the end of the Royal Rumble a week or so before this. Hogan starts off with Bravo, and the gorilla shoves him into the corner. They lock up again,and this time hogan overpowers him. Back bodydrop, punch to Jimmy Hart, punch to Quake, atomic drop and Bravo gets pinballed between Hulk and Tugboat. Boat works Bravo's arm. The Canadian tries to get the tag, but can't reach. Tug eats boot on a charge, and gets atomic dropped. Quake gets tagged and misses an elbowdrop. Hulk in, and he punches Tenta and slams Bravo. Hogan bodyslams the nasty stinky wart-infested giant. The faces pinball quake, and Hulk gets a clothesline. Hogan punches and bites in the corner, and tags Boat. The faces do a double big boot. Tug runs into a boot in the corner, and Quake then impressively kicks him. Quake chokes Boat on the ropes. Dino bearhugs Boat until Hogan gets a blind tag, but the ref missed it. Quake and Dino double-slam Boat, and Quake sets up his big move. Hogan though clotheslines Quake as he prepares the butt drop, then gets the legal tag. He quickly big boots and rolls up Dino for the win. * Hulk was obviously ready to be done with Quake (and Boat, really). 

We immediately go to footage from the Royal Rumble, as Randy "Macho King" Savage helps Sgt. Slaughter defeat the Ultimate Warrior for the title, since Slaughter guaranteed he'd give Savage a title shot while Warrior said no to that request. Savage did an awesome job in this whole deal, though Slaughter winning the title suuuucked.

Gene with Gen. Adnan and Slaughter. Gene accuses him of employing questionable tactics. "It doesn't matter how I came to power. It doesn't matter what devices I used." I could easily see another, current tyrant saying this. Hint- he was in attendance at Wrestlemania VII. I just knew too much at this point to see Slaughter as a threat. I had watched him for years getting fatter in the AWA, and the first Iraq War was all but finished by this point.

WWF championship, Sgt. Slaughter (c) vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan- Hogan comes out as Duggan's flagbearer, in case there was any doubt who would win this match and who would challenge at Mania. Slaughter shoves Duggan, as McMahon explains Hogan got sent to the back. Duggan eventually shoves Slaughter to the mat. Sarge slugs away and chokes Duggan. Thrilling. Duggan reverses a whip, and punches Sarge in the corner. Baaaack bodydrop, and Duggan clotheslines Slaughter to the floor. Duggan picks him up in a slam position, but Adnan trips him and Slaughter gets two. Adnan then holds Duggan but Sarge whacks his very own manager. Duggan hits a back elbow and "hoooo!s." Sarge kicks Duggan on a back body drop attempt, and chokes Duggan on the ropes. Slaughter drops an elbow with Duggan on the apron, and hits Duggan in the throat with his 2x4. Slaughter stands on him for two. Sarge rakes his back to really up the workrate. He rams Duggan to the turnbuckles, and he no sells.Duggan punches away and Slaughter takes his usual whip to the corner bump. Duggan whips him over the step outside, then into "the iron ringpost." Adnan distracts Duggan, and Slaughter hits him with the chair for the DQ. 1/2* Slaughter works him over with the chair and riding crop, until Hogan runs in. Slaughter whacks him with the chair, and walks out. Hogan helps Duggan to his feet. 

The Orient Express vs. The Legion of Doom- Gene talks to the L.O.D. The Warriors make a lot of car-related puns. It's "Oh, what a feeling vs. Ohhhh,what a rush!" Ok, that was clever. Animal throws Kato to the corner, then tosses him from like a front chancery position. Kato chops Animal, then the Warrior chases him around ringside. Back in, Kato gets powerslammed, and Tanaka gets backdropped to the heavens (a dipsy doodle, according to Piper). Hawk and Tanaka come in legally, and Pat gets shoulderblocked down. Twice. Kato grabs Hawk's foot, then the Express double-Irish whip him. Hawk misses a double  clothesline, and Kato bails rather than taking one. Animal press slams him back in, though., and Hawk clotheslines him right back out. Animal then clotheslines Kato on the floor. Tag to Tanaka, who flips out of an armbar and gets clotheslined. Noggins are knocked, and Fuji throws salt in Animal's eyes. Tanaka savate kicks Animal, and Kato rakes his face. Kato holds Animal on the ropes and Kato jumps on his back. Animal gets a double clothesline, tags Hawk and he shoulderblocks Kato down. He clotheslines Tanaka, hits Fuji, and the Doomsday Device finishes. * What was the point of this? The Hart Foundation could've squashed the Express; they were the champs heading into Mania.

Gene introduces Jack "Best President since Noriega" Tunney to make the formality of Sarge's Mania opponent. 

Sean Mooney talks to Sarge. "Hogan has never faced an opponent like me before. " He says he'll do whatever it takes to win. 

Hulk then appears for the umpteenth time on this hour show in the ring. Blah blah, Hulkamania, shooting down his SCUD missiles. Hogan pledged to his countrymen and God that he'll be the next champion. He then leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance. Nope, not over the top at all.

Wrestlemania VII is one of my favorite Manias, but this show was straight-up garbage. No wonder NBC soon canceled them. Oh, and I should probably mention that after the next review, I will finish my ebook collection of these reviews, which will include never before released bonus content. In the meantime, go ahead and click one of the links to the right to buy my previous ebooks. Buy the books!

Monday, June 11, 2018

Main Event #4: Good, but not a blowaway show


This was originally intended to be a ful SNME episode, but NBC changed its mind and instead this became a Friday night primetime special. The show also was to included the Hart Foundation-Rockers 2 out 3 falls match where the top rope broke and the title changed, but Vince and Co. decided it wasn't good enought and it was erased for about 18 years.

We start with "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviewing Ted Dibiase. We see clips of Dibiase kicking the basketball away from SHAWN!, and kicking kids out of a pool to use all by himself. Worst of all, he used twin ref magic to steal the WWF championship.

Sean Mooney is with the Ultimate Warrior for a counterpoint. Warrior spews some cheesy puns that were obviously written for him by someone from NBC or Once a Month Productions.

WWF championship- Ted Dibiase vs. Ultimate Warrior (c)- As Vince McMahon and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper introduce the show, Piper holds a drumstick and says he'll soon look like Roseanne Barr. That reference has somehow become topical again, though I don't think she uses "Barr" anymore. They lock up and Warrior shoves him to the corner, twice. He tries an overhead wristlock, but Warrior still puts him down. Dibiase knees him in the gut and chops away. Warrior ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. Warrior clotheslines Dibiase to the floor and poses in the corners as Ted and Virgil huddle. Noggins are knocked, and heads are smashed into the apron. Warrior hits an axehandle coming back in, and pounds away in the corner. He whips Dibiase to the corner, but runs into a knee in the corner and gets clotheslined. Dibiase hits an axehandle of his own for two. The MDM then piledrives (!) the Warrior. A second attempt gets reversed, Warrior tackles him twice, but Virg grabs his ankle. dibiase then clotheslines Warrior to the floor. Raw, I mean the Main Event, rolls on... We're back! My tape had a Michelob Dry and an "In the Line of Duty" ad. Dibiase pounds on Warrior and necksnaps him. Fistdrop gets two. Warrior Hulks Up out of a headlock, and they shoulderblock each other in a stalemate. Dibiase clotheslines Warrior down, and when he ucks down Warrior gets a sort-of backslide for two. Dibiase suplexes him for two. warrior blocks another, and SUNSET FLIPS Dibiase for two. Whoa. MDM throws Warrior to the floor, and rams his head to the steps. MDM throws him back in, and punches away. He goes for a fisherman's suplex (Perfect Plex), but gets suplexed himself. The two collide coming off the ropes, and the ref starts counting both men down. DIbiase is up first, goes off the middle rope but Warrior punches him in the gut. warrior shakes them ropes and gets his special, and hits several clotheslines. He hits a flying shoulderblock, but Virgil breaks up a pin. DQ, ***. Warrior hits a huge clothesline on Virgil and gorilla presses him, but Randy "Macho King" Savage runs in and hits him with his scepter (like he was delivering his elbow drop). He then jumps off the top and hits Warrior in the throat with it. Savage throws down some referees, and chokes Warrior on the mat. Sherri also kicks and chokes Warrior. Warrior eventually holds up the belt to thunderous applause.

Okerlund talks to Savage and Sherri. Savage says he accepted the royal payment. He'll be the new World Wrestling Federation champion, sez he.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Sgt. Slaughter- Sarge tells Gene "to hell with Nikolai Volkoff and to hell with Old Glory." He only salutes the Iraqi flag. The U.S. has no guts, so therefore they have no glory. Get the hook. After a break Slaughter attacks Volkoff from behind with a riding crop, and puts him in the camel clutch. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan then runs out with his 2x4. Duggan would challenge Slaughter for the WWF title (spoilers, I know) at the next Main Event broadcast in February, after Slaughter beat Warrior with Savage's help. At least stories were being advanced here. Oh, and there was no Sarge-Nikolai match.

Gene talks to the Big Boss Man. Heenan did his mama wrong. "Justice may be blind, but no when it comes to weasels insulting my mama!"

Mr. Perfect vs. Big Boss Man- Hennig may have been Intercontiental champion again at this point; I'm not sure when he actually beat Texas Tornado vs. when it was broadcast. BBM chases Hennig out of the ring to start. Heenan is not out there. Hennig slaps BBM, then ducks out of the ring. BBM chases him around the ring, and pulls him down by his hair. Back in, BBM whips Hennig, who evades a clothesline with a cartwheel before Boss Man connects with one. Perfect oversells a punch. BBM whips him to the buckle, with authority. When he does it again Perfect does a front-flip sell. BBM then drags perfect around by his hair, then biels him with hit which cause Perfect to crotch himself on the post. Boss Man gives Hennig a backbreaker, then goes to the top and misses a splash. Hennig then does that neck snap thing he likes to do (Tony Schiavone and Conrad Thompson recently discussed the lack of a name for it) for a one count. Perfect kicks BBM in the ribs. He gets two off of a small package. Perfect continues to work BBM over and try for pins. Hennig takes off a turnbuckle pad, but BBM stops him from rmming BBM's head to it. Instead, what is good for the goose is also satisfactory for the gander. BBM punches him down to the mat. BBM snaps Hennig's head between hi knees, but gets whipped to the buckle by Hennig. Heenan runs out and encourages Hennig. He goes for the Perfect Plex, but gets small packaged in the process. Hennig then chops away but BBM answers with punches. Hennig then hits the P-Plex, but BBM kicks out at two. Heenan then holds the top rope down, but Hennig falls out of the ring. BBM then chases Heenan out of the building. We even see a Heenan prat fall in the back. Hennig by countout. ** Hennig's selling was downright ridiculous at times, and a decision in the match would've been nice.

We got back to Okerlund, and Heenan flies into the scene, asking Gene to help him.

We see the infamous "Playboy" Buddy Rose Blowaway diet video. Just like  today,the WWF was entertaining an  audience of  one  here.

Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana- I'm such a mark for this theme for Tito. Martel attacks to start, and tosses Tito to the floor. Martel then charges, but hits his arm on the ringpost. Tito smashes it on the apron and throws Martel back in. Tito axehandles him from the second buckle, and gives him a drop of the atomic variety. Tito then works the arm. The Model leakfrogs Santan coming off the rope, but when Martel goes down for a monkey flip Tito just kicks him in the head. Simple but effective. More arm wringing. Martel then gets a leapfrog, but Tito small packages him for two. Arrrrrrrmbar. Tito punches him to bweak fwee (sorry; I feel bad making fun of Arianna Grande at this point) . He gets a snapmare then a headlock, which Tito reverses to a hammerlock. Martel makes the ropes, and then as Tito argues with the ref over a cheap stomp, Martel flings him into the turnbuckles, and chokes him on the mat. Martel rams him head to the top buckle, and punches him a lot. Martel grabs a headlock and chokes while the ref isn't looking. Tito hits him in the belly and Martel rakes his eyes. Martel gives him a backbreaker, and then another. After teasing it Martel finally goes to the top, and Tito crotches him. He flips into the ring, and Tito kicks away at him. Tito whips him into the corner, and forearms Martel. Tito hits a dropkick, , then a backbreaker of his own. Tito goes to the middle rope and hits a forearm for two. Martel gets an atomic drop, but Tito goes for the figure four. Martel then rolls him up for two. Martel then locks in his boston Crab. Tito taps but I think he verbally submits before the ref calls it. ***1/2. I think you could call this the blowoff to the Strike Force breakup, even though their paths would cross again.

Gene talks to Jake "The Snake" Roberts and shows when Martel blinded him with Arrogance (Martel's cologne in an atomizer). My tape cuts this off, though. I can tell you that this week on Saturday Night Live: Rick Moranis and Ricky Lee Jones.

Mooney talks to Warrior. He's holding the belt and mumbling, talking about muscle tissue and Macho King trying to break his bond with his Warriors. Macho will see nothing but "Raaaaaaage!"

We close with a shot of Warrior raising up his belt.

This is a strange show. I don't really count it as a part of the same series as the live versions that featured Hogan-Andre, the Megapowers exploding and even Hogan-Macho with Buster Douglas refereeing. I liked all of the matches enough, though.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Saturday Night's Main Event #28 (for real this time)

We see scenes from the Oktoberfest party that they will check into several times. I think it's supposed to seem like they don't think they're on their air yet.

Hosted by Vince McMahon and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper.

The three members of Demolition cut a promo. They're gonna celebrate Oktoberfest Demolition-style. Then we go to the Legion of Doom, for more German puns. Warrior pops up from the floor, and he and his partners chant "blitzkrieg."

Demolition vs. Legion of Doom/Ultimate Warrior- Why yes, the Ultimate Warrior was the WWF champion at this point. Why do you ask? I didn't care; this was a dream match I never knew I wanted back then. The faces charge the heels to start. The Demos regroup outside, as we get a peak at Dustin Rhodes in the crowd. Smash clotheslines Animal down, and chokes him on the ropes. Animal hits a powerslam for two on a charging Smash. Ax comes in, but Animal tags Warrior. He kicks Ax in the midsection several times. Ax eats boot and gets shouldered down several times. He clotheslines Ax, slams Smash, slams Crush, and then one for Ax. Axis the Demolisher moves from an attempted Warrior splash, however. Smash throws Warrior to the floor, where Crush rams him to the apron and chops him in the throat. Warriors gets double and triple-teamed in the corner. Crush comes in with an axehandle, and chokes Warrior. More corner chicanery from the Demos. Animal comes in to throw Crush out, but Smash knocks him out. Hawk then breaks up a Demolition Decapitation. Hawk gets tagged, and he hits a back elbow on Smash, and a shoulderblock. Hawk hits a clothesline from the top. The pin gets gets broken up, but Warrior is tagged. He hits a splash off the top. Warrior knocks the other Demos to the floor, hits a shoulderblock on Smash and pins him with a splash. **1/2 These teams met at the Survivor Series after this, with Mr. Perfect and the Texas Tornado added to the respective teams. 

"Mean" Gene is on the scene at Octoberfest. He tries to throw it to Lord Alfred Hayes, but he's having a pint while talking someone's ear off. 

"Macho King" Randy Savage (with Sensational Queen Sherri) vs. Dusty Rhodes- Don't get excited. Piper says Sherri is the only person the Ultimate Warrior is afraid of, after she recently slapped him thrice. Dusty embraces his son at ringside. I'm sure Dustin won't figure into the match at all. Dust chases the King and Queen out to begin. Savage rips up a Warrior poster on the outside. Dusty chops Savage, whips him to the buckles twice, and locks on a bearhug. Savage rakes his eyes to escape, but Dusty gets a backslide for two. Sherri jumps on the apron, and Savage knees Dusty in the back. Sherri chokes Dusty and Savage distracts the ref. Savage gets two off of that. They work a headlock for a bit, as Ted Dibiase and Virgil make their wa to ringside. Dusty gets a shoulderblock. Dibiase and Virg bought off the fans in the front row, so they are sitting by Dustin. Dusty runs out to yell at Dibiase. Macho King chokes Dusty after a break, and Sherri does the same. Savage gets two from that. Savage snaps him throat on the top, and hits an axehandle for two. Dusty fights back, and rams Savage's head to the buckle. Savage misses a buttsplash with Dusty on the bottom rope. Dusty headbutts Savage, and gets two on a near fall. Savage goes to the top but Dusty punches him in the gut. Dustin stands up to Dibiase and gets hit with a chair outside. Dusty goes out to protect him, but Savage hits a flying axehandle on the floor. Savage wins by countout. 1/2* Dusty laid on the mat for most of the match. Dusty covers Dustin as Dibiase and Virgil continue to attack. 

Sean Mooney talks to Hogan and Tugboat. They aren't gonna celebrate until they even the score with Quake and Dino. They're taking the Autobahn. Rhythm and Blues will be playing in an Oompah band, too. Sounds like Hogan's on the good, Wrestlemania IV shit again.

The Bushwhackers cut the cheese at the Cheese Factory (presumably not the maze at Chuck E. Cheese I'd get lost in for hours). Yep.

Rhythm & Blues vs. Hulk Hogan and Tugboat- After a break, Hulk drops elbows on each, knocks noggins (Vince makes a knockwurst pun), whips both into Tugger's boot. Tag to Tugboat, who works Valentine's arm. Quick tags, as they continue working on the arm. Greg rakes the eyes, and chops Tug. Honky tagged, but gets bearhugged. Valentine axehandles Tugger in the back, and Honky takes over. Tag to Hammer, who drops elbows and fists. Honky drops an elbow, but Hulk breaks up a pin. More doubleteams on the big man. A double-elbowdrop misses, and Hogan gets the tag. Hulkpunches both men and Jimmy Hart, and knocks noggins. Hart runs to the back as Hulk clotheslines Valentine, and Hammers on him. Hogan hits a back elbow, big boot, but Tugboat stops him from ropping the leg because Earthqyake was walking back out. Ugh, this match continues after a break. The faces hit a double clothesline, and Tugger splashes Hammer in the corner. He goes after Jimmy Hart, and Honky kabongs him with the guitar. DQ, 1/2*. Hogan throws Hart onto Rhythm and Blues, and knocks Bravo's noggin into R&B. But Earthquakethen enters and slams Hogan, and the heels push Quake onto Hogan in a splash. He tries a buttdrop, but Tugger hits him with the guitar coming off the ropes. I didn't enjoy any of this. 

Back at Oktoberfest for a sausage stuffing contest, with sausage-stuffing hall of famer The Genius (I didn't get that Mean Gene joke back in the day). It's a competition between The Orient Express/Mr. Fuji and The Hart Foundation/ "Hacksaw" Duggan. Fuji drops a premade sausage on the table with one second left. I'm not sure what that accomplished. Gene tries to throw it to Lord Al, but he's blubbering on drunkenly.

WWF Intercontiental championship, Haku vs. Texas Tornado (c)- How does Meng keep getting these SNME title shots? I have no recollection of this match at all. His graphic still calls him TT Kerry Von Erich. Heenan tells Kerry he can give him the belt and we'll call it even. Kerry gets an armdrag and body slam, and tries for the claw. The Islander rolls outside to confer with Heenan. Back in, Haku reverses a whip and gets a standing side headlock.Haku turns it into a choke while Heenan distracts the ref. Kerry somehow gets out of that and punches away. Haku splashes Kerry in the corner, which looked botchy, like Kerry was supposed to move. Then Kerry whips him into the buckles and locks on the Iron Claw. Haku gets the ropes, forcing a ref break, so Kerry then hits him with a discuss punch for the win. *

Mooney talks to Hulk and Tugboat. Hogan makes a bunch of nautical references. But does he have a nautical-themed pashmina afghan?! Other than his partner being named Tugboat, I don't know what this all has to do with anything. Quake is going to sink 20,000 leagues under the sea. Maybe he can find the sea creature from Southpaw Regional Wrestling?

Koko B. Ware vs. Sgt. Slaughter- Ugh. In case you don't know, Slaughter had returned to the WWF as an Iraq-sympathizing heel. At first it was topical, but the U.S. defeated Iraq in the first Iraq War long before the turncoat angle concluded. Koko evades him to begin. Gen. Adnan yells "you're gonna get it" to Koko. I think Adnan was at least an Iraqi. Koko hits a dropkick, hiptosses and dances. Koko hits a shoulderblock, but can't drop Slaughter. Koko goes under Slaughter and dropkicks him, but misses a charge. Slaughter throws forearms and hits a baaaack bodydrop. Slaughter covers him for two, then forearms him some more. Backbreaker gets two. Koko hits a Shake, Rattle and Roll (!) and then two dropkicks. A headbutt knocks Slaughter into the ropes, but Slaughter catches a charging Koko for a hot shot. The noogie gets the submission. Um, 1/2* for Koko's spirited offense, I guess. Nikolai Volkoff starts waving the American flag on the interview platform. I hate the Slaughter turncoat character now, and even back then I thought it was offensive and unbelieveable, since I had been watching Slaughter for years in the AWA. He never even won their world title!

Now we see Anvil and Slick having a dance off at Oktoberfest. I feel like the crowd is biased here. Al is now schnockered, and his friend walks away in disgust. A food fight breaks out, and it's reminiscent of that TNT wedding reception that WWE desperately wants to convince us is funny. 

Mooney talks to the Warrior. We see Sherri challenging (and slapping) Warrior. He accepts Savage's challenge. Piper then talks to Sherri and Savage. Warrior has sealed his destiny, she says. Piper slaps Sherri on the behind, and says "Farfegnugen."

My recording ends here, so if there was more than that I apologize. This show at times felt like a fever dream, full of bad matches and stupid skits. I do really like the Warrior/L.O.D. vs. Demolition match, if for nothing else than for pairing all the face painted guys in one match.