The Palace of Auburn Hills - Auburn Hills, MI
Attendance: 23,954
Buyrate: 250,000
Commentary team: Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan
Earlier today, the Lex Express rolled into town carrying with it the embodiment of America, Lex Luger. Tonight is his opportunity to show WWF Champion Yokozuna what America is made of, which is mostly junked car parts and the old McDonald's styrofoam containers.
Match #1: Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase.
Odd choice for an opener. Even odder is the hot pink attire worn by Razor, which I'm sure has not been seen since. DiBiase shows how deteriorated his skills have gotten, but he's still able to work a basic match. Razor dumps DiBiase outside a couple of times, before DiBiase takes over with a suplex and some rear chinlocks. So even though this match is quite disappointing, since both guys are capable of better, it's still a hot opener thanks to the crowd. The finish comes when DiBiase meets irony in the form of an exposed buckle that he worked on, then Razor gets the Razor's Edge for the pin. **½ (7:32) This was it for DiBiase as a wrestler in the WWF. He left to work on his marriage, but then went to All Japan to team with Stan Hansen before injuring his neck and retiring.
Todd Pettingill is ringside to interview Mama Steiner and Sister Steiner. Sister refers to Rick as "Rob" and Jim Cornette's head does a 360 on his neck, hence the neck brace he wears for the next match.
Match #2: The Steiner Brothers (c) vs. The Heavenly Bodies (w/ Jim Cornette) - WWF Tag Team Championship.
This would be the peak for the Steiners in the WWF. SMW had a working agreement with Vince at this time, which gave us this title match. Not surprisingly, this was a very good match. The Bodies were given a good amount of offense, trading off on Scott for the bulk of the match. The Bodies get a near-fall with a tennis racket shot to Rick, but the finish comes when Scott hits Gigolo Jimmy with the Frankensteiner. ***½ (9:28)
Hey, remember Joe Fowler? No? He's backstage interviewing Shawn Michaels who is accompanied by his bodyguard, Diesel. Michaels is defending the IC title against Mr. Perfect. Diesel actually speaks, which was not the norm just yet at this point. Fowler would go back to the world of infomercial shilling not long after this.
Match #3: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels (c) (w/ Diesel) - WWF Intercontinental Championship.
This feud had cooled off by the time of this event but I remember still being stoked for this one in particular. Perfect had control early, but the tide changed when Michaels nails Perfect with a superkick on the floor. Perfect makes the comeback and hits the Perfect-plex but Diesel pulls Perfect to the floor to break it up. With the referee counting, Diesel shoves Perfect into the ringpost and Michaels wins a disappointing match in the lamest way possible, via countout. **½ (11:20) Post-match, the heels beat Perfect down, with Diesel providing a knockout punch. This leads to Diesel becoming a regular in-ring performer, especially after Michaels gets into hot water with steroids a couple weeks after this.
Joe Fowler speaks with The 1-2-3 Kid backstage regarding his match with IRS. Kid is still a little green on the mic. He should have played up the nervous angle by puking all over the place, something he would be good at doing during the Kliq days, providing countless hours of entertainment for his good buddies.
Match #4: The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Irwin R. Schyster.
IRS runs down the Motor City by referring to it as Tax Cheat City. What a heel! Of course, now no one in Detroit has any money to report so it's all a wash. The Kid works hard in this match, getting a couple of near-falls. However, IRS proves that he should have been a vacuum salesman by sucking all the heat from this match. The finish comes when IRS hits the Write Off clothesline for the pin. ** (5:44)
Todd Pettingill is ringside to speak with members of Bret Hart's crazy family, specifically brothers Bruce and Owen. They blame Jerry Lawler for Stu needing knee surgery, which is the reason why he and Helen are not there. Thank goodness we don't have to listen to Stu cut an incoherent promo.
Match #5: Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler.
Lawler comes out on crutches with an ice pack on his knee. Pettingill asks Lawler what's up and Lawler proceeds to tell a story about getting into a ten-car pileup caused by an old lady. Probably true. Then he heroically pulled himself out of the fiery wreck and made his way to the arena, where he was ordered not to wrestle. So he has appointed his court jester to take his place. That court jester...? Doink the Clown. And now you know....the rest of the story.
Match #5: Bret Hart vs. Doink.
Doink does the ringside fans a service and gives Bruce Hart a shower with a bucket of water. Bruce and Owen flip out, jumping the rail to try and get to Doink. A good match develops with Doink in control, slapping on the Stump Puller while grabbing the ropes. That gets broken up by the ref and Bret makes his comeback. Bret gets the Sharpshooter and probably would have gotten the submission if Lawler doesn't miraculously recover and attack Bret with his crutch. No decision is rendered but that is a DQ in my book. *** (9:05)
So Lawler and Doink head to the back but that no-good Jack Tunney shows up and forces Lawler to wrestle by threatening him with a lifetime banning. That seems rather harsh.
Match #6: Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler.
So we finally get our grudge match between these two and it turns into a pretty nifty match with Lawler pulling out the classic heel cheating and then Bret making his comeback. The finish comes with Bret getting the Sharpshooter for the submission. However, Bret refuses to release it even after officials try to talk him out of it. Finally, Bruce and Owen convince him to let go but it's too late as the referee reverses his decision and gives the match to Lawler. ***½ (6:32) Post-match, the Harts attack Lawler on his stretcher. Lawler gets carted away with his hand raised because that's how you do it.
We get a vignette for Ludvig Borga as he stands in front of a dilapidated building. He's sure the Lex Express didn't stop there on its way to SummerSlam. America is crumbling and Borga is going to show Jannetty what he's all about. Not a bad promo and I always thought Borga was a Brock Lesnar-type badass.
Match #7: Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga.
This was pretty much a squash for Borga, who doesn't really impress a whole lot here. A lot of right hands and basic stuff. One cool spot: he hoisted Jannetty in the air and punched him in the gut on his way down. Borga finishes with the Torture Rack. * (5:15)
Match #8: The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez (w/ Harvey Wippleman) - Rest In Peace Match.
The rules went unexplained for weeks, but we finally get clarification as Howard Finkel states that the match is fought under no-disqualification, no count out rules. Wippleman has the urn now as Mr. Hughes was fired a few weeks before this show. Of course, this match goes as you would expect it to with lots of clubbing blows and thrusts. The action spills outside to justify the no-DQ, no-countout rules as Gonzalez uses a chair. Paul Bearer returns as he actually gets a good pop and takes out Wippleman and reclaims the urn, as the crowd is happy about this turn of events. The finish comes when Undertaker goes up top for a flying clothesline and the pin. ½* for the angle closure because the match sucked. Post-match, Gonzalez blames the loss on Harvey and chokeslams him to the mat to end that pairing. Gonzalez was gone from the WWF almost immediately after this.
Joe Fowler is backstage with the WWF champ Yokozuna, along with Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Cornette does all the talking, of course, and promises that Yokozuna is walking out champ.
Match #9: Tatanka & The Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow & The Headshrinkers - 6 Man Tag Team Match.
Tatanka and Bigelow have had an issue for several weeks leading into this but we get this six-man on the card rather than a one-on-one. The match is actually pretty decent with the only slow spot coming during the heat segment on Bart Gunn, because who gives a shit about Bart Gunn? Toward the end of the match, Tatanka is left alone with all three heels who attempt triple stereo diving headbutts from the top and miss. The ring is cleared by the Gunns and Tatanka rolls up a Headshrinker for the pin. ***¼ (11:15)
Now, Joe Fowler is outside with the driver of the Lex Express, Hank Carter. He may as well be Hank Hill with the redneck accent. He also has an inability to clearly express his thought, which is a polite way of saying that he should stick to driving and not talk.
Before the main event, we get a Japanese guy singing the Japanese national anthem in such a horrible manner that it's almost as if it was intentional. The Japanese flag-bearer looks suspiciously like Akio Sato, formerly of The Orient Express and later known as Hakushi's manager, Shinja.
Randy Savage comes out introduced as the Master of Ceremonies and thankfully doesn't bring out the creepy Macho Midget with him. He introduces Aaron Neville to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner". Neville does okay and if you weren't familiar with his vocal stylings, one might think he was horrible.
Match #10: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna (c) (w/ Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) - WWF Championship.
You can't say that this match wasn't treated as a big deal because it obviously is. Yokozuna misses elbow drops and leg drops early in the match and Luger retaliates with punches and evading Fuji's attempts to blind him with salt. The action winds up on the floor where Yokozuna tries to use a chair but misses. Luger gets a double axhandle off the top and Yokozuna is wobbly. Fuji tosses in the saltbucket and Yokozuna gets a near-fall after using it on Luger. After some choking and a back suplex, Yokozuna goes to nerve holds and hits the legdrop for a near-fall. Yokozuna misses the Bonzai Drop and Luger comes back with the elbow-pad protected steel forearm that sends Yokozuna to the floor, where he gets counted out. **¾ (17:58) And then we get the horribly overblown celebration with balloons and confetti falling from the ceiling and Luger getting hoisted on the Steiners' shoulders. With all that went into this whole angle with Luger, he should have been handed the title here. Instead, we get a tribute video that feels hollow. Bad booking here that actually sabotaged the rest of Luger's WWF run because no one gave a damn about him after this.
THE FINAL WORD: Average show here as the only thing that went out of its way to suck was the Rest in Peace match. However, nothing was truly great either. Perfect-Michaels was a huge letdown and Luger winning by count out and then the subsequent celebration were the biggest question marks here. Match of the night was the tag title match, followed by the six-man tag.
UP NEXT: ECW from 9/7/93!
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