The Main Event 2

That doesn't surprise me at all, Waukesha. Not. At. All.

The intro has faux USA Today-like newspapers as they recap all of the events leading up to the Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks tonight. 

LIVE from Milwaukee's Bradley Center. This is significant to me for two reasons: 1. I was a huge fan at the time, and lived in Milwaukee's market. I had attended Wrestlefest at Milwaukee County Stadium (then-home of the Brewers) the previous summer, so I'm not sure why I didn't go/harass my parents to take me to this show. My best guess is because it was on the weekend of my dad's birthday. 2. This was one of the first events at the Bradley Center, which opened the previous fall and replaced the MECCA as the main arena in Milwaukee. The building would turn 30 this year, but it's being replaced by a new arena and eventually being torn down. I've probably attended wrestling, hockey, basketball and soccer games, along with concerts, a total of 75 times in the BC's existence. I'll turn 40 this year; I shouldn't be attending events at a third Milwaukee main arena already in my life. So, again, I wish I could say I was at this event, but I was not.

Gene talks to Slick and the Towers. Slick shares his three laws of wrestling dynamics. "We are three mens, they are two mens. It's the laaaaw." The other two are the law of the jungle and the land. I can't really do this whole thing justice; it's the rare case of (I assume) contributing writers making wrestling promos better. 

A special video on the Mega Powers' friendship airs. The WWE Network has some truly God-awful music dubbed in, but if you watch the original (like I just did), you get "You're a Friend of Mine" by Clarence Clemons and Jackson Browne.  Jesse Ventura is not convinced things are honky-dory after watching the video.

Gene talks to the Mega Powers. Gene says the love between a brother and a sister, the love between two brothers, and then the love between a man and a woman, will lead the Mega Powers on to victory. Savage can steel feel Hogan's pain from the beating he has taken from the Towers. Gene comments to Liz that she's got her team ready.

The Twin Towers vs. The Mega Powers- Notice that Savage is wearing his yellow "Mega Powers" trunks, while Hogan is wearing trunks with no message on his bottom. The Powers disagree on who should start while the Boss Man is all set to go. Savage comes in, but Boss Man gestures that he wants Hogan instead. It works, as the WWF champion once again takes a back seat to the Hulkster. Boss Man rakes his eyes, but Hogan fires away, punches Slick and Akeem, and atomic drops Boss Man over the top. The heels regroup. Back in, BBM knees Hogan and hammers away. Hogan rams his head to the buckle, and to the near side as well. BBM slips outside instead of taking a punch, but Macho rams his head into the steps. Hogan dances as Akeem gets the tag. The Mega Powers pinball him in the corner, and Hulk clotheslines him. It doesn't drop Akeem, but Hulk then full nelsons him for a Macho axehandle. Savage and Hogan doubleteam Akeem, and Hulk does his own axehandle. Akeem retaliates, and tags BBM. Boss Man clotheslines Hogan, and piledrives him. He tags Akeem instead of going for a cover. QUick tags by the heels as they work Hogan over. Boss Man tries another pildriver, but gets backdropped to the floor. Outside, Hogan posts him, but Slick grabs Hulk's ankle as he goes back in. Savage kicks Slick to get him off, and Hogan gets Boss Man slammed. He gets a near fall from that, and tags Akeem. More doubleteaming Hulk, but BBM accidentally hits Akeem and Hulk gets the tag. He slingshots Akeem's throat on the top, and hits a flying bodypress for two. Slick nails Savage with the billy club as he hits the ropes. BBM pounds on his back, and they double back-elbow Savage. Akeem throws Savage over the top. I thought...it was that time. Savage then tosses him again, this time on to Elizabeth. This was a shocking turn of events, especially since we had never seen Liz bump like that before.  Hulk covers both Savage and Liz, in my mind trying to secretly get a pinfall on Savage. The first one must have been intoxicating, judging by how many Hulk would get over the next decade. So Hogan pushes Savage out of the way and hovers over Liz, and as Savage gets up and is like "what the hell?" Akeem pulls him back in. Hulk picks up Liz and carries her to the back, as we see the Towers missing double elbowdrops on Savage. Macho then can't believe his eyes as he sees his partner carrying his woman to the back, leaving him to battle the behemoths alone. Liz gets placed on a stretcher and is taken to the back, and if you squint you can see the Hart Foundation watching on. Liz gets taken to a medical room in the back, as Hulk begs the medical staff to "please save her," like she's perished or something. "Randy didn't mean it; I swear he didn't." Mean what? He got thrown onto her by Akeem! Savage is still getting beaten on in the ring. Hulk then runs back to the ring. Akeem chokes Savage on the ropes and snaps him off. BBM tags in as Hulky runs back to his corner. What a farce this is a match. The Towers doubleteam Savage, and give him a double backbreaker. They both hit the ropes at the same time, and Akeem comically falls out and BBM falls on his face. Savage axehandles him and throws both out, and when Hogan reaches for the tag he slaps Hulk's face. Boss Man works Hogan over and Savage leaves. BBM and Akeem miss a double avalanche in the corner, and Savage comes back for his belt and Hogan argues with him. Then BBM avalanches Hulk in the corner. You'd think that'd be the end, but Akeem avalanches Hulk and splashes him, which starts up the Hulk Up sequence. You know the rest. *1/2. So the Twin Towers are so ineffective, they couldn't beat Savage nor Hogan when they were by themselves for minutes on end. No wonder they were demoted to the second match at WMV against the Rockers after this. Boss Man tries to cuff Hogan after, but somehow gets handcuffed to Slick. Jesus, Terry. As a match this ranks somewhere between Savage-Steamboat and the Uncensored '96 cage match (and I think you know which one I think it's closer to), but it was all to serve the break-up angle, anyway.

Hulk heads to the back yelling for the Macho Man. Savage is in the medical room ranting and raving to Liz. Savage tells Hulk he has jealous eyes. He's been in a backseat in the Mega Powers, but he's not No. 3, he's No. 1. He says Hulk never asked him for a title shot because he knows he can't beat him (pronouns, pal). When Hulk turns to Liz and asks her to try to talk some sense into Macho, 

Savage decks Hulk with the belt. Liz then jumps up and covers Hogan. Savage then shoves her down, and before he can it Hogan with the belt, Brutus Beefcake grabs the belt and gets shoved down. Then WWF officials come, and Savage throws Pat Patterson down. Nick Bockwinkel unfortunately doesn't take a bump here like he did for the Ultimate Warrior at the Royal Rumble the month prior.

Hercules vs. Ted Dibiase- We go back to the first aid area and Gene. He will try to somehow get to Hogan. Herc jumps Dibiase while he's still on the apron. He flips Dibiase into the ring, and gives him a War and Peace atomic drop. He sends Dibiase outside, and pulls Virgil in to the ring to rough up. He then whips Virgil into Dibiase, knocking him off of the apron. He slingshots Dibiase in, and press slams him across the ring. Herc again atomic drops Dibiase, and he flies over the top. Noggins get knocked on the floor, and Dibiase finally necksnaps Herc over the top to the floor. Dibiase punches away on the floor and throws Herc back in. Dibiase clotheslines Herc the Jerk, and drops fists for two. Dibiase knees him in the midsection, and hits an axehandle for two. Herc keeps kicking out "with authority." Dibiase tries a suplex but Herc reverses it. Dibiase rams his head to the buckles, Herc reverses a whip but eats boot. Dibiase picks Herc up for a slam, as Vince explains the dead crowd still being shocked by the Mega Powers exploding. Herc kicks out again. Herc rams Dibiase's head to the buckle repeatedly, and hits a powerslam on Dibiase as he bounds off of the ropes. Dibiase rams a charging Hercules' head to the buckle, and Virgil works on untieing the buckle. Dibiase, though is the one whose head gets rammed, but Herc only gets two. Herc gets the backbreaker, but the ref goes to pull the chain off. Virgil pulls Herc by the tights to get him to break, and Dibiase gets a rollup for the pin. * Herc then slams Dibiase, and goes to get the chain. Much like with Roman Reigns today, they were kind of pushing Herc, but having him lose this feud cooled off any chance of him becoming a top guy. I never believed Scott Keith's story that Herc was being positioned as the third Mega Power, but if that was true he wouldn't be needed in that capacity anymore, anyway. 

So Gene is back in the medical room and Hulk is ranting incoherently. We go back to Vince and Jesse, and then see Hogan opening doors and throwing equipment cases in the hallway. He finds Jim Neidhart and throws him, and pushes Shawn Michaels into a wall, and questions Bret Hart and Marty Jannetty. I'm sure all of those guys were thrilled to have the honor of appearing on The Main Event that way. 

And that concludes the second edition of the Main Event. I'd call the match quality a wash, but I dare say Main Event 1 had the more important angle. I think Wrestlemania V did better than IV on pay-per-view, so what do I know?