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Ted's Clash Review

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS XXXIII: MILE-HIGH MAYHEM!


Live from the Coliseum, where that Raw should have been held in 2009 but Vince McMahon's a big baby and canceled six shows out of spite. #Kroenkewasright

Since the last Clash, wrestling changed forever. Seriously. Scott Hall walked out during the Memorial Day Nitro, and Kevin Nash soon followed him from the WWF. The pair attacked Eric Bischoff at the Great American Bash, and then at Bash at the Beach Sting, Lex Luger and Randy Savage faced Hall and Nash, and later...Hulk Hogan. Fans were shocked that Hogan finally turned heel, and pelted him with garbage. At Hog Wild Hogan regained the WCW World title from the man who he (sort of) lost it to at Halloween Havoc, the Giant.

Tony and Bobby Heenan show footage from Nitro where Sting and Luger were facing the Outsiders, and the Horsemen rushed the ring because Nick Patrick was letting anything go. That's what the announcers said, anyway.

We see Hogan and the Outsiders beating up the Booty Man at Road Wild, then see Hogan beating up Ric Flair from Nitro. Then we get clips of promos from Flair and Hogan on their match right here, tonight.

WCW cruiserweight championship, Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. (c)- This is the first Clash for Rey-Rey, who the current tusk calling himself Rey Mysterio could probably eat. Dean whips Rey, who goes under the bottom rope out and right back in. Rey rams Dean's head to the buckles, then slides under and hits him with a headscissors outside. Rey armdrags Dean and hits a spring flip for two, then a spinning wheel kick sends him out. Rey does the correct version of the 619, which doesn't connect and thus can't kill someone. Drop toehold back in, but Dean puts Rey in a powerbomb position then stun guns Rey. Dean brainbusters Rey for two. Rey and flips to Dean's shoulders and attempts a sunset flip, and rolls him up for two. Dean grabs a headlock as the three men in the ring obviously are working something out. They head to a break and Dean ally-oops Rey, who bounces off the top rope and after a sequence Rey bridges into a pin for two. Dean gets a kneebar and then tosses Rey up on a backdrop for two. More conferring with Randy Anderson. Dean tries a go-behind but ends up outside. Rey dropkicks him, then hits a somersault into a senton splash outside (thanks Mike Tenay). Rey moonsaults off of the guardrail on Dean, and springboard dropkicks him for two. Rey hits a frankensteiner off the top rope for two. Dean backdrops Rey to the apron, and Dean does his awesome firemen's carry off the top that ends with a gutbuster. Anderson counts a pin but realizes Rey had his foot on the rope. Rey then gets a victory roll and pin to retain. *** 

VK Wallstreet vs. Hacksaw Duggan- Duggan gets a hiptoss and clothesline. Wallstreet reached under the ring and got an international object. He stunned Duggan on the top rope while getting back in. Wallstreet hit a charging Duggan with a back elbow, and Hacksaw got out of a sleepr with a jambreaker. Duggan scoop slams him, then wraps his fist with tape. The idiot gets caught up in the tape, and Wallstreet wraps him up in it. * 

"Mean" Gene with the Nasty Boys. All they're going to do is fight. 

Ultimo Dragon vs. Konnan- K-Dawg is acting heelish, but isn't a gangsta rapper yet. Konnan tied him in an Indian deathlock, and shouldered him down. Dragon goes out to confer with Sonny Ono. Konnan backdrops Dragon, who no-sells and dropkicks Konnan out. Onoo kicks K-Dawg, who  goes after Onoo but Dragon flies out onto him. Back in, an Asai moonsault and a cradle for two. Suplex and they fight over reverslas, and Konnan pulls the tights for the win. ** Match was just getting going.

We see Ice Train chatting on Compuserve with a broken arm, and Scott Norton attacking him/it. 

Randy Savage vs. Meng- Meng wins by forfeit because of Savage's injuries on Nitro, when Hogan chairshot-d him in the back of the head. Gene then interviews Kevin Sullivan, Meng and Jimmy Hart. Sullivan said people always knew when he was coming with a chairshot, and he hasn't been praising Hogan the last year and half like Gene did. We also see their leprechaun running around the ring. Sullivan says they, not the Horsemen, are WCW's last stand. 

Bull Nakano vs. Madusa- first women's match after all of this time, and possible the only one. Madusa kicks to start, but misses a dropkick. Bull hair drags her twice. Bobby says she's a charming woman. Today she is, and is a pro golfer! Bull hits her with nunchuks as Ono distracts the ref. Bull clotheslines her down. Madusa goes off the top then, does her own hair drags. This is dumb-downed from the '94 series. Bull drops on her on a sunset flip attempt. Bull on the top gets dropkicked, and Madusa jumps off the top but hits Ono by mistake. Ono kicks Bull by mistake, and Dusa gets the pin. * That was also on the Clash DVD set, but probably just for something/someone different to be featured.

Gene talks to Flair and his women. All I got out of it was references to the Avalanche and the Rockies.

BattleBowl championship, Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero - The championship is a ring. Page shoves him down to start, but Guerrero gets a shoulderblock and headscissors. Eddie dropkicks him in one corner, but misses a charge in another. Page stomps away and chokes Eddie with his book. Gutwrench powerbomb (called gutbuster by Schiavone), then a side salto for two, or side slam. DDP gets an extended headlock, as I'm sure they're comiserating. He puts his feet on the ropes a couple of times at least. Eddie armdrags him but sweeps his leg. They slug away, and Eddie dropkicks him. Somersault from the apron to page gets two, but DDP jawbreaks him. Powerbomb gets 2.5. DDP puts him on the top but Eddie headbutts him, then hits the frogsplash for the ring. **3/4. DDP was getting better and better. DDP hits a diamond cutter and then tosses the ref. He hits another, and I always saw that and worrid the ring would get kicked out. Chavo runs out, then DDP gives Eddie a cutter from the middle rope.

Hogan drags Gene out for an interview. Hogan was taken aback by some of Gene's derogatory comments. Flair, in all of his glory, couldn't lace Hogan's boots up. He said Flair will be known as the Stupid Little Man who Couldn't Get the Job Done. He's about as creative as Donald Trump with nicknames. I'm still surprised he wasn't on Donald's ticket. They're both orange, and Hogan once promised to dogpaddle Donald to safety at Wrestlemania IV.  

You guys, Glacier is coming!!!!

Chris Benoit vs. The Giant- Benoit gets stuck in his jacket and while Elizabeth and Woman try to get him out of it, Giant dropkicks him. He then chokeslams Benoit for the quick pin. Nothing worth rating here, though I'm always fine with not having to watch Chris Benoit matches.

WCW world tag team championship, Harlem Heat (c) vs. Sting/Lex Luger vs. The Steiners- I think this is the first triple-threat match on a Clash, so it's another first right before the series ends. I never noticed how much "Steinerized" and "Man Called Sting" sound similar before now.  Col. Parker walked out separately and stood with Sherri, so I guess their angle didn't end at the last Clash. Tony thanks their production crew for producing nine live hours of content. 2016 WWE's production crew says ha; welcome to our world. Booker pounds on Scott to start, and gets punched in the corner. Booker sidekicks him. Scott tries to suplex Booker off, gets pushed down but then crotches Booker. Luger gets a cheapshot clothesline on the apron and puts Booker on the floor. Scott tags Luger, which Tony rightly calls a mistake. Stevie Ray pounds Luger down in the corner, but Luger responds in kind. Lariat drops Stevie, who ducks another from Luger but gets one from Rick Steiner, who gives Luger one as well. Steiner bulldogs Ray for a two-count that Luger breaks up. After Steiner and Lex argue, Stevie hits a Harlem sidekick on Rick. Booker gets tagged as they go to break. Rick catches Booker in the air for a powerslam, but Sting tagged in and comes off the top on Booker for two. Sting hiptosses him to the floor, but Nick Patrick says it's momentum. Sting throws him in, leapfrogs him and military presses Booker. Stevie Ray breaks it up. Sting tags Luger, who hits an axehandle on Booker. Vertical suplex but Stevie pulls Luger off. Stevie attacks Sting after both get tagged. Scott tags in on Stevie, and Steiner works Sting's arm. Top hammerlock takes Sting down, but he bridges out. Steiner gets a shoulderblock but Sting Stun Guns him. Sting hits a clothesline off the top for two, broken up by Rick. Steiner hits a scorpion death drop on Sting, then his double-arm powerbomb. Luger breaks it up, and he and Rick get into it. Rick comes in, and Luger tags himself in. Rick whips Luger in but gets lariat'd. Luger clotheslines him in the corner, but misses a charge and gets German suplexed. Scott belly-to-belly's Luger, who then catches Scott coming off the middle and turns it into a torture rack! Rick comes in and kicks Luger, and it's a pier-six brawl. Booker hits a Harlem sidekick on Scott inside, as the Outsiders have arrived. Frankensteiner inside, but Nick Patrick counts to two and then calls a DQ because of the nWo's interference. Scott Steiner grabs him by the shirt but mercifully doesn't murder him on the spot. ***3/4. This was a spirited affair.

Okerlund talks to Patrick, who says the Outsiders attacked guys on the floor. Gene said they never got in the ring. Patrick says what makes a referee great is the ability to see two different things at the same time. Gene mentions the nice Armani suits Patrick has been wearing lately. That's cold, Gene. I side with Patrick on this one; that was outside interference. 

WCW World championship, Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Flair grabs a headlock to begin.  Hogan gets a shoulderblock and taunts him. Hogan threatens Woman and Liz. Flair goes back to the headlock, and Hogan places him on the top but Flair slaps him. This is not as fast-moving as the tag title match was, by far. Hogan gets a hammerlock and trips him down, then misses a clothesline and gets chopped. Flair punches Hogan down and he bails out. Hogan threatens to punch some woman at ringside, and Flair leaps off the apron on him. Flair bites his fingers and chops him, but when Hogan bounces out of the corner they just sort of collide. Not sure what happened there. Hogan whips him and he Flair Flips to the floor. Hogan rams him to the railing, and ringpost. More punches back in, another Flair Flip but he punches Hogan this time. War and Peace suplex by Flair, but Hogan Hulks Up. Big boot, but Hulky misses the legdrop. Figure four on Hogan, which Hulk tries to turn over but Flair turns it back. Hogan threw Randy Anderson while still in the hold, and then the Outsiders ran in. The Horsemen, Sting and Luger then ran them off.  Hulk disqualified, *1/2. Man, I gotta watch the '96 War Games match tonight. You should, too...

I don't know if they had too many matches scheduled (if the whole card was even announced on Nitro beforehand), but the Savage forfeit and Giant-Benoit probably didn't have to both happen to move those storylines forward. There was so much going on here, and our friend Sting is about to make some major changes. 

Thursday, July 21, 2016

CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS XXXII: MALICE FROM CAESAR'S PALACE!


Live from Las Vegas. Hosted by Tony and the Brain.

Last night on Nitro- Randy Savage won the WCW World title from Ric Flair, then argued with Ric Flair. Now, you might think a world title change would be better to put on a TV special like this one. I have no counter argument, but their thinking was probably "Monday Night War." Lex Luger and Sting also won the tag team title from Harlem Heat on that Nitro, and conveniently were already scheduled to face the Blue Bloods.

Also, Hogan and Savage have a surprise in their corner, which was announced on Nitro- Miss Elizabeth.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund is at the Little White Chapel, where Col. Parker and Sherri will be getting hitched. If you recall, Sherri suffered a head injury at the last Clash, and now loves Parker.

Public Enemy vs. The Nasty Boys- PE debuted a week ago, putting Marcus Bagwell through a table. Knobbs clotheslines Grunge inside, while Sags rams Rocco Rock into the railing. Knobbs charges Grunge but hits buckles, and gets back suplexed. Rocco goes up on the railing but gets crotched. Grunge dances inside but misses a charge and ends up outside. Sags comes back with a table. Knobbs jumps out but hits the railing. Sags puts the table in the corner but Rock bulldogs out of it. Rocco moonsaults onto Knobbs. Knobbs backelbows Rock, and Sags piledrives Grunge. Knobbs sets up the table but Rock ends up moonsaulting onto Knobbs, and the table of course doesn't break. The bell rang right before that. Sags threw the table at Grunge on the floor, then kept beating him with part of the table in the aisle. *1/4.

Eric Bischoff brings out Ric Flair and The Giant. Jimmy Hart was now managing both. Flair won the title from Savage at Starrcade. Flair says a little girl told him last night that with him, she's gonna fantasize, but with the Giant, she's going to giantsize. Ok then.
Dean Malenko vs.  Alex Wright- They chain wrestle to begin. Wright grabs a headlock and they do standing switches and handsprings and Wright gets a dropkick and a headscissors takeover. Attention- there's a live chat with Bischoff going on right now on Compuserve! Dean wraps Wright's knee on the post. Malenko does a leg whip and grabs a leglock. Wright gets a bodypress off the top. Wright dropkicks Malenko, but gets back suplexed. Wright dropkicks him while he's on the top, and superplexes him. Wright German suplexes him for two. Malenko grabs the ropes to avoid another. Wright flips off of him in the corner, but Dean rolls him up for what looks like a two-count. That's the finish, so I think someone fucked up. **

Kevin Sullivan vs. Disco Inferno- Disco isn't actually there. He sent an Elvis impersonator in his place, who sings a song about Disco being at the wedding. Sullivan then beats up the guy, and Jimmy Hart says "The Taskmaster hates Elvis impersonators, baby." That was stupid.

Gene is at the chapel, and talks to Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater.

Bischoff brings out Sting and Luger. The the Road Warriors make their return, and want to challenge for the title. Sting's game, but Luger points out that the State Patrol and others are before them in line.

We see a promo from Paul Orndorff, who is wearing a neck brace. He was aattacked by Brian 

Pillman and the Horsemen, and suffered a career-ending injury. He said his right arm is weakening and he needs surgery. This must be how they wrote him out, as he injured that arm in '86, but didn't want to take the time off to fix it because he was working with Hogan. My other takeaway from this is what an awful dresser Pillman was during this era. Kind of takes the edge off of the character.

Back to Gene, as Parker arrives and needs $50 for the cab. 

Brian Pillman vs. Eddie Guerrero- Here he is wearing a T-shirt with James Dean on it, with the area around his nipple cut out. Eddie looks so young here. The 10 years between this and his death did such a number on him, obviously. Pillman is outside arguiing with fans. Guerrero gets a shoulderblock, and dropkicsk Pillman outside. Pillman grabs Heenan to block Eddie's potential dive off the top, and the WWE Network leaves in Heenan saying "what the fuck are you doing?" That was a shoot, and Bobby even walks around the ring and down the aisle. I think he later said he was worried about his neck. Pillman offers a handshake back in, which Eddie takes and then kicks Pillman. He gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaerker, but Pillman bites his nose and chops him down. Pillman chokes him on the mat, as he can't work his "Flyin'" style any more. Side headlock, and Eddie dropkicks him. Another dropkick sends him out. Pillman runs into Eddie's knees, and then he hits a tornado DDT for two. Pillman grabs Eddies legs and covers with his feet on the ropes for two. Pillman hits a crossbody and pulls the tights for two. Pillman tries to slide out onto the announce table, and Heenan again gets up. **

Bischoff brings out Hogan, Savage and future Packers outside linebackers coach Kevin Greene. Hogan gets a dig in at Savage, saying we already know that Liz is more than Savage can handle. Bet he appreciated that one. 

World tag team championship, The Blue Bloods vs. Lex Luger/Sting (c)-  We start with lots of Regal wacky faces. He gets Sting in a wristlock, which gets reversed. Sting shoulders him down, and grabs a headlock. Dropkick, Luger takes a cheapshot and Sting claps his head. Eaton in, and Luger gets thrown to the floor by Bobby. He charged Luger but gets backdropped and clotheslined on the cement. Luger then picks him up and throws him back in. Regal comes in all upset, and he cheapshots Luger in the corner. He knees Luger in the forehead, and tags Eagon. Swinging neckbreaker drops the Total Package. Regal drops an elbow for two. Eaton hits a knee off of the top, and Regal does the Regal stretch. Sting breaks it up, then Eaton jumps off the top and Luger catches him and slams him. Luger and Eaton bonk heads and collapse. Sting gets tagged and is a house afire. Sting gets forearmed by Eaton, and because of that hits the ropes which crotches Eaton. Sting then gets the win with the Scorpion. **3/4. 

Gene talks to Harlem Heat, who want neck bones. Lovely. Parker is actually cracking me up, with his doublespeak and coverups to Sherri. 

Bischoff talks to Pillman, who know has tie dyed pants. Cool. Guy. He threatens to hack off our thumbs to make the Horsemen sign. Ooooh, edgy.

Mexican championship, Psichosis vs. Konnan (c)- I'm not sure what the title really is, unless WCW made it up. Konnan armdrags him to start, and the race to the floor. Konnan goes up and hits an armdrag. Psi hits the top rope with his legs but doesn't do a move. Konnan locks Psi in a submission style move. Konnan hits a German suplex, then another. Konnan slingshots him and grabs an armbar. Psi grabs a submission hold. Psi chops Konnan, but he gets another armdrag. Konnan gets a flying headscissor, and two armdrags. Konnan dropkicks his knee and hits a spike DDT. Konnan backdrops him to the apron, but gets missile dropkicked. Tope to the outside and both men are down. Konnan places him on the top buckle, and German suplexed him off of the top. Konnan wraps his arms and leg up and Psi submits. ***

Gene talks to Parker. Sherri is changing in the back of the limo. Gene offers to walk her down the aisle, and the wedding is on!

After break Gene walks her across the parking lot. Disco dances and the Heat looks pissed. Slater has tears in his eyes, aww. They are at the driveup window on foot. When the lady asks if anyone objects Madusa comes out of Parker's RV, and attacks Sherri. She's probably still mad about losing at Superclash II. Disco walks off with champagne bottles. I'm not going to hate on this; it's stupid wrestling comedy.

Giant/Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage- I'm not even going to try to figure out what nickname to call Hogan and Savage here. Woman and Linda Hogan are part of their entourage, and then a busty Miss Elizabeth comes up. Yowza. Flair taunts Greene and says if they get into it, Greene will miss the Super Bowl Sunday and they'll blame the Nature Boy. Another time, Big Man. I don't think Flair and Greene ever wrestled each other, but they did team up. Savage backdrops Flair and clotheslines him. Flair Flips in the corner, and Hogan big boots him as he comes down the apron. Hogan then throws him back in, and Savage chops him. Savage punches away at Flair, and holds him for Hogan. Giant in, and Hogan too. Giant shoves him to the corner twice. Hogan grabs a headlock, but gets shouldered down. Hogan rakes his eyes but can't slam him. Giant then gets his own slam, and kicks Hogan in the gut. Hogan keeps laying back down. Giant headbutts him low, and slams him. Giant misses an elbowdrop, and Hogan rakes his eyes and slams him. Flair gets a War and Peace suplex and poses, but Hogan no-sells and pops up. Hogan backdrops him and clotheslines him, and rakes Giant's eyes. Hogan keeps going after Giant, and they end up outside. He rolls Hogan in, and he no-sells Flair's chops. Back elbow and Flair goes up, but Hogan slams him off. Hogan tags Macho, who goes up and hits an axehandle. Bodyslam and Savage goes for the elbow as Hogan clotheslines Giant out. He hits it, but gets distracted by Hart. Flair hits him with brass knucks for the win. *3/4. Was kind of short, and the Hogan vs. Giant sequence was pretty bad. Zodiak and Pillman run in and get double noggin-knocked. Greene comes and he and Hogan throw the heels out, then tend to Savage. Good lord, Elizabeth.

Not WCW's best effort, though they were throwing everything into Nitro at this point. Like I said, I won't hate on the wedding stuff. It was inoffensive and even blew off an angle (I think; I don't remember Sherri and Parker being together after this, but who knows). Things will be much different in WCW by the next Clash, believe you me.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS XXXI: THE HORSEMEN EXPLODE!


Live from Daytona Beach, Fla. 

We begin right away (well, for the Clash portion. WCW Main Event also took place live, the review of which will be in my forthcoming book) with Michael Buffer introducing the first match...

Meng/Kurasawa vs. Hawk/Sting- Sting won the vacant U.S. title at the Great American Bash from Meng. We begin with all four men in the ring. Hawk throws Kurasawa outside, and Hawk and Sting dump Meng. Col. Parker confers with his charges, then Kurasawa and Hawk go at it. Hawk takes him down by the legs, and headbutts him low. Sting atomic drops Kura, and rams his head to the buckle. Chops from Kura, but he misses a corner charge. Sting suplexes him for two, and he and Hawk double-elbow him. Kura clotheslines Hawk down, and Meng clotheslines him but Hawk doesn't sell. Meng chops Hawk then clotheslines him again, but Hawk won't go down. Kura jumps in on Hawk's arm, and the two fall outside. Kura back suplexes Hawk on the mat. Sting comes and pounds on Kura, who eventually pushes Hawk back in. Kura eats boot on a charge, and gets clotheslined. Meng breaks up a Hawk submission, and then legally comes in. Hawk gets a swinging neckbreaker, then slams Kura. Hawk hits a splash from the top, then powerbombs (!) Kura. Meng breaks that up, but Sting hits a flying clothesline on Meng. Sting backdrops Meng, and hits a DDT. Hawk clotheslines Meng, then Sting hits the Stinger Splash, and his bulldog thing. Sting and Hawk double clothesline Kura, then hit a Doomsday Device for three. Huh. Meng pulls out Sting, then Kura gets a kimura and "breaks" Hawk's arm. I actually thought that was how the match ended. Kurasawa and especially Hawk didn't seem to be playing nice in the match. I think they faced off again at Halloween Havoc, then Kura was gone. **

We take a look at happenings from the Main Event, which I'm not going to tell you about so that you'll buy my Clash book. Ha!

We take a "live" look at the physical Dungeon of Doom, where Hulk Hogan will venture to later. In a day without Garmin or Google Maps, I have no idea how he found its coordinates.

Parker tells "Mean" Gene Okerlund that was the Kurasawa Crunch. He said his boys have bad blood (hey!) with the Harlem Heat. The Heat will team with Sherri vs. Parker and the Stud Stable.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Alex Wright- DDP shoves Wright down, but Wright rolls him up for two. Wright then gets another quick two. Dropkick knocks DDP outside, and Wright splashes him. DDP in storyline had just won $13 million. He neckbreakers Wright on the top, then works his arm back in. Wright reverses and Fireman's Carry's him. DDP whips him ot the corner, but Wright flips over him and dropkicks DDP. Wright headbutts DDP in the gut through the ropes, then splashes him for two. More arm work from Wright. Page leapfrogs Wright but gets crossbody'd for two. Page then slugs him down, and kicks him in the ribs. DDP hits an inverted backbreaker, and Kimberly holds up a "10." I wonder if Scotty Riggs did that after winning at strip poker with Kimberly. Swinging neckbreaker, but he doesn't cover Wright. Page chokes Wright on the top rope. Wright backslides DDP for two, and Page misses a corner charge and hits steel. They slug it out, and Wright hits an elbow and a spinwheel kick. Flying knee from Wright gets two. Wright hits a missile dropkick for 2.9. Wright pounds on DDP in the corner, but Page snake-eyes him for two. Wright German suplexes him for a nearfall, then hits a flying forearm to knock Page outside. Wright tries a splash but Page takes a step to his right to avoid it. DDP then pins him inside. *** This was maybe the beginning of "Holy shit, DDP can wrestle now!"

Gene talks to Ric Flair and Arn Anderson. Arn says he's going to wear Vader down and then tag Flair.

World TV championship, Paul Orndorff vs. The Renegade (c)- This is a rematch from Bash at the Beach. Orndorff ambushes Renegade coming in the ring, but gets clotheslined. Powerslam by Gade, and the fake Warrior still has the belt on. Orndorff suplexes him off of the buckles while he's celebrating for two. Boogie-Woogie Elbow on Renegade's throat, and Orndorff rakes his face. Paula works over Renegade, and rams his head to the top buckle. Clothesline, and I just noticed how atrophied Orndorff's right arm had gotten. He throws Gade outside, and  rams him off of the apron like it's a THQ wresting game. Orndorff snaps his neck on the top rope, and still won't let him back in the ring. While Paul argues with Nick Patrick, Gade splashes in for the win. *1/2. Sadly, even though I quickly realized Renegade wasn't Jim Helwig when he debuted, I still liked him while he was getting pushed. I guess it's like how I just enjoyed a Who tribute band at Summerfest last weekend. Sometimes it's nice to at least see a facsimile of the real thing (though said band Substitute plays the songs really well, while Renegade was a sloppy imposter).

Gene talks to Vader. I was too busy writing my Renegade-Who soliloquy to hear it. Sorry.
Back to Gene after the break. He hypes the WCW Hotline, Fall Brawl and a contest for Hulk's Harley. We also take a look at the history of the Stud Stable and Harlem Heat. Note- though the Stable have the tag title belts here, I think they may be in the midst of one of those negative title reigns, where they used a non-title match for the title change on TV, and that the Heat had already won them back at a taping at this point.

Stud Stable/Col. Parker vs. Harlem Heat/Sister Sherri- The Heat have to hold Sherri back to begin. Stevie Ray rams Dick Slater's head to the top turnbuckles. Stevie bodyslams him, and rakes his eyes. Bunkhouse Buck in, and Booker pounds on him. Buck boots him but Booker dropkicks him off the top buckle. SHerri slaps Buck for good measure, and Booker slams him. Booker misses an elbow but Spinarooni's and elbows Buck. Stevie in, and Slater back-elbows him. Slater does his drunken sell and Stevie kicks him. Sherri punches Slater next. Stevie then chokes Slater in the corner. AND THEN- they go to a break, air a commercial about how to win Hogan's Harley, and casually announce that the winner will be announced on the premiere of something call WCW Monday Nitro. Tony Schiavone then explains that WCW is going prime time on Labor Day. He hilariously says an Emmy award-winning sportscaster will join the announce team on Nitro. They had to have had someone else in mind- Mongo can't be any sort of Emmy winner. Buck dropkicks Booker and puts him in a bearhug. Booker tags Stevie, but Colonel was distracting the ref. Parker then tags in and pounds on Booker, but he punches Parker in the midsection. The Heat suplex Parker, then tag Sherri. She gives him a bodypress off the top for two, drops an elbow on him, and then legdrops his giblets. Sherri goes up but misses a frog splash. She seems to have been knocked out. Parker picks her up, and she Thesz presses him and starts smooching him. She also gets the pin. *3/4. Sherri then chases Parker and rolls around on the floor with him, obviously very concussed.

Gene with Hulk and Jimmy Hart. Hulk's not going to tear his shirt off yet; he'll wait until he enters the Dungeon of Doom. So...he's in the building now. Where exactly is the Dungeon of Doom? Is it near the Wyatt Compound, which is most likely in Florida? He is also apparently going to ride his bike wearing bikini briefs, which he helpfully whips out. I...just can't even.

After a break, Gene (who has gotten the most screentime by far on this show) is with Tomas Diaz, the MDA National Goodwill Ambassador. Tomas won't answer Gene's softballs. Macho Man then comes out, and Tomas will actually talk to him. Macho Man then tells Tomas about Monday Nitro. Macho gently pats him and has his arm around him. I remember hearing what a great ambassador Macho was, probably like how Cena is today. We then get a brief Macho Man music video. Macho had already appeared on the Main Event show, doing something really important.

So then Hogan and his barber stripe pants enters the Dungeon while Sullivan and the Emperor converse. Then El Hijo Del Andre comes in and chokes out Hogan as the other Doomers put the boots to him. Then, Vader comes in and pounds away on everybody. Giant lets go of his choke, and Sting, Macho and Jimmy Hart escort Hogan out. This is all too stupid to take seriously.

Tony and Bobby chat about Nitro.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Vader- Tony says one can only ask why Vader rushed into the DoD. I'm not sure we ever really got that answer, as Vader was gone from WCW by the first Nitro. Arn gets some shots in, then Vader boxes his ears and stomps him. Vader gets an atomic drop, and clotheslines Arn over the top. Vader punches and headbutts Arn back in, and hits a short-arm clothesline. Arn then gets the spinebuster with Vader coming off the ropes. Now he tags Flair, who rakes Vader's eyes with his boot. Vader press slams Flair twice. Flair flips, and Vader clotheslines him off the apron. Meanwhile, Arn clips Vader's knee. Flair kicks his knee and tags Arn. Arn gets a DDT, but tags Flair. Ric applies the Figure Four. Vader slams Flair off of the top, and backdrops Natch. Arn breaks up a pin. Vader hits a top-rope splash,  but Arn again makes the save. Vader clotheslines Flair, and powerbombs Arn for the win. **1/4.  Flair yells at Arn about the loss. Flair then goes to leave, and Arn pulls him in by his hair. There seems to be trouble brewing...

Gene interviews Hogan, Savage and Sting at the entrance. They declare war! Vader than walks out and tells him no one tells Vader what time it is.

This was kind of hit and miss. DDP and Wright was surprisingly good, though. The misses would soon kind of go away (to a point) with the debut of Nitro, and all of the changes that entailed.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS XXX: THE REVIVING ELBOW


Live from Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas ("You probably get this a lot...this isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it?")

World television championship, Arn Anderson (c) vs. Johnny B. Badd- The fans voted for this match on the WCW hotline, somehow. #19009099900forever. Wonder what that number is now. Arn was a last-minute replacement for Honky Tonk Man at Starrcade, and won the title. Arn knees Badd, but gets kneelifted after a faked punch. Arn rakes the bootlaces on Badd's face, but gets dropkicked off the top to the floor. Badd then hits a plancha on Col. Parker and Arn. Axehandle from the top, and he locks on an armbar. Badd gets armdrags, then enziguris Arn while he's holding Badd's leg. Arn tried the same spot, but Badd ducked. Arn caught Badd on a rollup attempt and hot shot him on the top. Arn throws Badd out, and Parker kicks him. They slug it out, and Badd eats an elbow on a charge. Badd launches Arn into the turnbuckles, and gets a backdrop. Badd gets two clotheslines, and a headscissors. Badd punches him but Arn falls to the floor. Parker dumps a pitcher of water on Arn, and Meng rolls Arn back in. Badd chases Parker through the ring, but Arn DDTs him coming back in for the win. ** The TV title was practically the Arn Anderson Championship through WCW's history, anyway.

"Mean" Gene with the Faces of Fear. I'm not even sure Avalanche is still affiliated with these guys. Since Vader and Ric Flair are supposed to be ringside, Sullivan thinks the tide has swayed in their favor.

We see an Alex Wright music video set to his theme. Believe it or not, he actually mixed up his dance a little bit in it, instead of just doing the arms behind the head thing.

Bobby Eaton vs. Alex Wright- I liked that almost five years later, he hasn't changed his Midnight Express look at all. After a break Wright enters. I should note that Wright beat another up-and-comer named Jean-Paul Levesque at Starrcade '94. Yep. Eaton will actually soon sort-of take on Levesque's gimmick. Wright armdrags Eaton, and works the arm. Wright shoulders him down, then slams Eaton. Eaton punches him down, but Wright backflips out of the corner and then headscissors Eaton down. Wright throws European uppercuts, but misses a splash and hits the top rope. Eaton chokes him on the bottom rope, then locks on a reverse chinlock. Wright Wunderkinds Up, and gets a suplex. Baaaaaaack bodydrop, then a spinwheel kick. Wright goes up for a missile dropkick for 2.9. Eaton pokes his eye but Wright hits a twisting cross body. Eaton gets a swinging neckbreaker, and hits the Alabama Jam for a near fall. Wright gets another twisting cross bodyblock for the three. **1/5. This was a good showcase for Wright.

Okerlund tells us Hogan will face Vader at Superbrawl next month. He brings Vader out, with no Harley Race. He's been looking for Hogan, and will be sitting ringside tonight.

World tag team championship, Harlem Heat (c) vs. Stars N' Stripes-  After the Heat arrives, we hear Ric Flair's theme. The Nature Boy walks that aisle with two ladies, and they take seats in a different section than Vader. Heat won the belts from the challengers in I think a phantom change that was taped before the Heat faced the Nasties at Starrcade. Bagwell pounds on Booker to begin, but eats a knee in the corner. The Heat bail and Bagwell backdrops Booker back in. A double hiptoss gets two after Patriot tags. Patriot hits a flying forearm, and works Stevie's arm. Stevie catches Buff in a mid air, and slams him. Bagwell gets an armdrag, but Booker boots him coming in. Bagwell gets a sunset flip for two, and Patriot legdrops his arm. Patriot gets a belly-to-belly and Bagwell tags. Marcus unsuccessfully tries to monkey flip Booker, and then Stevie tags and the Heat double teams. Clothesline for two, and Booker hits a flying forearm/elbow for two. Bagwell and Booker both crossbody each other. Sherri distracts the ref so that Bagwell can't legally tag. Booker gets rammed into Sherri's shoe, but Stevie kicks Bagwell while he's covering Booker, and the Heat get the pin. **. At least it wasn't the Nasties.

We get comments from the Monster Maniacs. I believe eventually they were just the Mega Powers again. Hogan tells Jimmy Hart to be their lookout. That's reassuring.

We get a Superbrawl control center, where Gene rehashes what he told us earlier. Hogan and Vader are not to have any contact.

Avalanche vs. Sting- The Guardian Angel is the special guest referee, for some reason. Avy pounds on Sting in the corner, but misses a charge. Sting dropkicks Avy to the floor, but Bossman stops Sting before he can attack him on the floor. Flair has left his seat, by the way. Sting tries a slam but Avy falls on him for two. Avy drops a leg on Sting's chest, then butt splashes him in the corner. Double shoulderblock, and Sting gets to work in his passed out groin headbutt spot. Avalanche gets up in the corner, and Sting splashes him thrice. He hits a fourth, then slams Avy.  Scorpion Leglock, and Nick Patrick comes in and says Avy gave up. Angel throws Patrick down, then shoves Sting as they argue. Sting punches him in the side of the headlock, then gets clotheslined. The big men then doubleteam Sting, until Stars and Stripes and Wright make the save. *1/2

Gene talks to Angel, and calls him Big Bubba Rogers. He drops the classic "that referee wasn't even supposed to be in the riiiiing" line.

Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage- This would be Savage's Clash debut, after debuting at Starrcade in a "whose side is he on?" angle. That angle would ironically get replayed with those two a couple of years later. This is an infamous match, but I'll get to that in a bit. Hogan starts with Butcher. He rams Bruti to the corner, where Beefcake helpfully rams his own head to the buckle. Butcher gets clotheslined in the corner, and Flair Flops. Macho in, and axehandles Butcher and rams Sullivan and Bruti's head together. Hogan axehandles Butcher as Macho holds him. Hogan hits a big boot but Butcher locks on the sleeper. Butcher lets go and he and Sullivan celebrate. Then Savage drops the elbow (his finisher) on Hogan, which wakes him right up. How does that even make sense? Hogan atomic drops Butcher and he flies outside. Hogan clotheslines Bruti and the Maniacs double big boot him. Sullivan in, and he whips Savage into a Butcher backdrop out of the ring. Butcher rams Savage to the rail and post. Sullivan does his little person offense to Savage, and they choke him on the top rope. Sullivan keeps beating up Savage on the apron and outside, despite not being the legal man. Back in, Bruti ties him in the Tree of Woe, and Sullivan tags and runs into him. What an in-ring debut for Savage this is. Bruti locks the sleeper on Savage, but he Stone Cold Stuns him to get free. Savage leaps and hot tags Hogan, who double noggin-knockers the heels. Hogan big-boots Butcher, and slams him. Savage then drops the big elbow, and Hogan legdrops Butcher for the win. Notice the elbow didn't revive Beefcake. *1/4. Vader then clotheslines Savage all the way out of the ring, and Hogan and Vader face off. And, oh yeah, it gets better- Vader powerbombs Hogan, and he pops right back up two seconds later. Hogan and Savage double axe bomber Vader, and suddenly have chairs to swing at him. The Faces of Fear hold Vader off, as their run as top heels official ends.

The first couple of matches were fine, but fuckin' Hogan, man. He killed the finishers of two of his biggest rivals in one night! I'd call it unbelievable, but unfortunately that's not true. And Sting was there and did stuff, too.