Saturday Night's Main Event #2

From the Meadowlands

"Mean" Gene warns we may be on the brink of an international crisis. Nikolai Volkoff says he's going to win the belt, and take it back to Russia. He's also wearing a swank jacket.

Hulk (without Gene) says Volkoff is no threat to him or America. He's hot about Volkoff going around, waving his flag.

Gene talks to Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer about Elmer's upcoming wedding. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper comes in and rambles.

WWF title match, Nikolai Volkoff vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Nikolai gets the treatment that Rusev does today when he tries to sing his national anthem. Hogan then spouts some patriotic BS that also could come into play today. Volkoff attacks from behind, and rams Hulk to the buckles. Hogan in white gear does take some mental readjustments to get used to. Hogan clotheslines him twice, and drops an elbow. Headbutt, and a punch drops the Russian. Volkoff takes a big boot to the chest and falls out. First he sends Nikolai to the post, but then Volkoff reverses a similiar attempt. Volkoff drops an axehandle to Hulk's back. Volkoff presses Hulk into a backbreaker, which was actually impressive. That gets two. Hogan gets whipped into the corner. Hogan gets a backdrop, but Volkoff takes over. Bodyslam gets two, then we get the Hulk Up. Volkoff misses a charge, Hogan legdrops him for the 1-2-3. Hulk then spits on the Russian flag and cleans his boot with it. No wonder the rest of the world hates us. Then Hulky gets to wave the flag around.

Gene with Hulk. He's gonna show that "wrestlers are nice people too" at the wedding later.
They show us the bride. I hope Elmer isn't watching. We then go to the three hillbillies. That Cousin Junior sure looks the part. But where is Big Bart?!

Uncle Elmer vs. Jerry Valiant- Is this the guy Vince Jr. always emulated and wanted to be? Valiant charges, Elmer slams/falls on him, and that's all she wrote. That easily beats Bundy-S.D. Jones.  And in fact they go to a clip of that match. Elmer's was six seconds.

Arnold  Schwarzenegger is shown in the crowd. This is 14 years before he socked Triple H and got a WWF title belt, and 32 before he was on Celebrity Apprentice and became an unlikely voice of reason.

Jesse hosts The Body Shop with guest Bobby Heenan. He says Paul Orndorff fired him. I'm kind of confused by this- didn't Orndorff turn face against Piper on the last SNME? Now Bobby has a $15,000 bounty on Orndorff.

Paul Orndorff vs. Roddy Piper- Orndorff has his fists taped, so you know he's ready to go. The ref has to hold him back as Piper enters. We also see Heenan coming out with a briefcase, calling for Roddy. The two slug it out, and Piper gets a clothesline. He kicks Paul in the head, then rams his head into the mat. I have a feeling this will end in a schmoz soon. Piper hits a DDT and stomps his head. They spill outside, and they ram each other into a table. Paul axehandles him inside, and hits a suplex. Piper gets an eyepoke, then a kneelift. They collide and fall to the mat. Piper dives onto knees, and they both flip to the floor. Piper misses a chairshot, and they brawl to the back. Piper slips into his dressing room, and won't let Orndorff in.

Weddin'.  Mean Gene tickles the ivories, and Jesse famously says he looks like the Phantom of the Opera. I have no idea what events led up to this. Andre is there complete with trunks and Giant gut. Judge George Sorvino doing the honors. "I, Uncle Elmer..." Elmer was gone from the WWF like a year later, too. Maybe NBC wanted Vince to do a wedding on an SNME, and this was the best he could come up with. So of course Piper comes out during the objection portion. Hogan points at him and Piper leaves. "It looks like two carp in the river going after the same corn"- future Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura.

There are loose pigs at the reception backstage, because of course there are.

Gene with Bobby Heenan, Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy. I've been rewatching '93 and '94 Raws, and now I'm wondering something- did Bundy get an eye job or something before his return? They seem more pronounced and bulging upon his return.

Bundy/Studd vs. Andre/Tony Atlas- Andre chokes Bundy with his own singlet to start. Andre rams his butt into Bundy in the corner, and delivers chops. Andre used Atlas' head to headbutt Bundy because, well, you know. Bundy elbows Atlas but misses an elbowdrop. Studd in, and he shoulderblocks Atlas, who leapfrogs and headbutts him. Atlas almsot slams him, then misses a dropkick. Andre headbutts Studd from the apron, then Bundy splashes Atlas. Big boot on Studd, but Bundy attacks his sternum. Studd rammed Atlas into the ringpost outside back-first. Bundy avalanches Andre, and Studd does the same as the ref calls for the bell. Andre and Atlas won by DQ. Andre knocks their noggins but the numbers game gets the best of him until Hogan runs in. Atlas then becomes the third wheel, the Hercules to Hogan and Andre's Mega Powers. I'll give it a * and move on.

Gene talks to Hogan, who says Andre and Atlas are the real winners.

We see Gene dressed for safari in a tiger-striped truck. Ah, they're at the Detroit Zoological Park, makes sense. He finds George Steele by a camel. We also see a clip of the classic Steele "how now brown cow" segment from TNT. They look at a bunch of animals, inclding a "Detroit" tiger, according to George. Gene would don the same gear for a safari segment on SNME five years later.

WWF tag team championship, Rene Goulet/Lanny Poffo vs. The Dream Team- Trivia time- did Jimmy Hart ever manage Brutus Beefcake back in his 80s heel days? I remembered Johnny V, but when I was watching '93 Raws I could've sworn Jimmy had managed Brutus before. Gene asks them about Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo, who Beefcake and Greg Valentine won the titles from. The U.S. Express is watching from ringside, though I think Windham was gone from the WWF soon after. Valentine grapples with Leapin' Lanny on the mat. Valentine slams him and tags Brutus. Lanny fights them both off, and dropkicks the Butcher. A slam sets up a moonsault (!) for two. Valentine breaks it up and Beefcake takes over. The Dreams double team and make quick tags. Brutus bodyslams Poffo, who then tags Garea. Hiptoss and dropicks by Garea, and a bodypress gets two. Brutus gets a backelbow and tags Valentine, who gets Garea in the figure four. Garea waves to submit, and Beefcakes dumps Poffo out. **1/2. The Dream Team keeps working over Garea. The champs have the familiar 80's belts now.

Wedding reception- Vince and Jesse are at Hulk and Orndorff's table. Hulk says "it was a beautiful wedding, Vicious Vince." Orndorff thought it was great. Gene shows Cousin Junior how to eat, and Poffo reads a poem. Hillbilly Jim then does a toast. Joyce and Elmer welcome Tiny Tim, who was a part of his own TV wedding. He gave them a ukulele. Jesse then reads a poem about missing wrestling and romance. He must not have liked the WAR promotion in the '90s, then. Hillbilly pushed Jesse into the cake after that.

Vince tells Hulk that Heenan accepted the challenge, and Hogan and Andre will face Bundy and Studd in four weeks on the next episode. So just chillllllllll....

Saturday Night's Main Event #1

May 11, 1985, at the Nassau County Coliseum

Cyndi Lauper tells Wendy Richter not to let the Fabulous Moolah grab her hair, and to "beat, annihilate and destroy" Moolah. Hulk and Mr. T pity "Cowboy" Bob Orton. That's mean; Randy was only like 8 then!

Vince and Jesse welcome us to the festivities. Two title matches!

The Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotundo/Ricky Steamboat- In the pre-match interview Capt. Lou threatens to bust Freddie Blassie wide open. Sheiky Baby and Nikolai beat Windham and Rotundo for the tag team belts at Wrestlemania 1. Steamboat is in regular trunks, as was the style then. Windham and Sheik start off the first-ever SNME match. Barry hits right hands, and tackles him down. Sheik does a leapfrog (!) and gets hiptossed and slammed. Quick tags as they work Sheik's arm. Rotundo slams and elbows Sheik for two. Steamboat hits chops and Sheik wraps him in an abdominal stretch. Hiptosses by the faces all around AS SNME ROLLS ON. When we returns Steamboat powerslams Sheik, then hits a dropkick off the top, then a flying bodypress. Volkoff breaks it up and gets tagged. Steamboat and Windham get double-dropkicks, and the U.S. Express gets back elbows. Steele breaks up a pin attempt, and Rotundo gets a couple more nearfalls. Windham gets a great jumping sunset flip, then Steele is finally tagged. His partners drop to the floor when he tries to tag out, then Windham rolls him up for the pin. I wonder if this is Steele's official face turn? Since his partners jumped him and he cleaned house, I'm gonna say yes. Albano then calms Steele down.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews the heels, which ends in a brawl when Steele and Albano walk past them.

Next is Piper's Pit. We first take a look at the Mania main event six weeks ago. Paul Orndorff is the guest. He orders "Dunce" Orton to get in the corner. This is done in the ring; I always preferred these segments done in the sets in the back of the arena. Roddy points out Orndorff is the one who got pinned, not Piper. Piper says Paul lost his guts, and Orndorff says Piper has been drinking too much of his own bathwater. Piper feigns leaving ,but tries to attack. Orndorff gets the better of him and tries a piledriver, but he gets waylayed by Orton's cast. Mr. T then comes out for the save. I can't wait to get to the point of the Orndorff-Hogan breakup and cage match on these shows.

Okerlund with Hogan. Hulk says it'll be a special match for his mother, brother.

WWF championship, Bob Orton vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- I think it's funny how Hulk seemingly got a new, different title belt every year during his reign. This one's at least better than the horrendous green one he won from the Sheik. Orton tries to attack from behind, but Hogan engages him in fisticuffs. Baaaaackbody drop, then two slams. Make that three. Orton bails to confer with Piper. Orton whips him into the buckle, but Hulk evades his charge. Arm wringer and elbows by Hulk, who then bites Orton's head. Hulk smashes Orton's casted arm into the post, but eats a flying knee afterwards. Orton drops elbows and other basic offense for near falls. Hogan eventually Hulks Up, and hits a clothesline and elbowdrop for two. Hulk punches him in the corner, but Orton atomic drops him. Orton tries a superplex, but gets knocked down. Hulk hits an elbow off the rope, then the legdrop, but Piper interferes. *1/2. This didn't move me at all. Orndorff runs in to help Hogan and Mr. T. I think this will be the beginning of a beauuuuutiful friendship.

Gene talks to the Fabulous Pimp, Moolah. She's sick of Lauper interfering. I'm sick(ened) by the stories I've heard about her in the past couple of years, so there.

Now Gene's with Lauper, Richter and David Wolf. Cyndi says if Moolah's upset about what happened at "Wrestlingmania," something unintelligible. My original copy tells me they played Lauper's "Good Enough" video, which featured lots of WWF wrestlers, here.

WWF women's championship, The Old Pimptress vs. Wendy Richter (c)- The music they dubbed over "She Bop" is far less exciting. Moolah gives Howard Finkel a scroll (which she probably stole from Cleopatra) that says Lauper is banned from ringside. Moolah dominates with chokes and hair pulls. The dinosaur tosses Richter out, and knees her in the chest. Moolah taunts the crowd, and talkes an awkward bump to the floor. Richter attacks her and throws her back in. Baaaack bodydrop by Moolah, and Richter eventually wins with a small package. They were too busy focusing on Lauper. * by 1985 standards, but if this was on Smackdown today there would be riots.

The Junk Yard Dog with his mom. He brought her to New York for Mother's Day. "Bertha" is real proud, and hopes he comes home really soon.

Pete Doherty vs. JYD- Good for the Duke of Dorchester, appearing on the first SNME.  JYD headbutts Doherty, and hits a big clothesline. JYD pulls the Duke's hair, then throws him back in. There he no-sells Duke's punches, then headbutts him on the mat. JYD slams Duke off the top, and headbutts him. Powerslam for the 1-2-3. * JYD and supposed mother dance in the ring afterward.
A Mother's Day part is being held in the back. Bertha is still "real proud." Sheik is sick and tired of Lauper. Blassie pulls the bit of his mother being a young woman, which I didn't get when Jerry Lawler did it, either. Hulk appears with his shoot mother Ruth, who was there when he won the belt. Lauper's "mother" is also there, though I smell BS. Moolah struts in dressed like DX Shawn Michaels, and berates Lauper's mother. Moolah says she looks like a latrine, and she and Gene get thrown into a cake. Hilarity!

I'm sure the workrate will be mostly non-existant on these shows, but I'm looking forward to getting into late-86, early-87, the period when I started watching. This particular episode didn't move me, but YMMV.

WCW Great American Bash 1998

June 14, 1998

Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Mike Tenay.

Live from Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, MD

 “Mean” Gene goes over the history of Sting and The Giant over the tag team championship. They won the title at Slamboree when Giant was nWo Black and White, and Sting later joined nWo Wolfpac. The winner picks their tag team partner, and The Giant said he would pick The Disciple.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T. Eighth match of the Best-of-7 for the TV title shot. On the previous Thunder, Bret Hart clobbered Booker with a chair, and Benoit didn’t want to win that way and told Nick Patrick, who disqualified him. Booker then said he wanted to go one more time at the ppv. Stevie Ray was not pleased with that decision. Benoit armdrags from a lockup to start, followed by a Booker hiptoss. Hart apparently offered an nWo black and white T-shirt to Benoit on Thunder, which he neither accepted nor rejected. Booker headlock, whip and Benoit trips him up. Benoit grabs a hammerlock, reversed by Booker. Benoit locks it on again, and Booker takes control with a punch and slam. Benoit gets a dragon screw legwhip to hurt Booker’s knee. Benoit lays in chops, and a couple of near falls. More restholds than I’d expect here. Booker leapfrogs, but eats a chop. Tenay says Benoit is using the headlock to weaken Booker for the crossface. Booker misses a bodypress off the top, and Benoit goes for the crossface, but Booker gets the ropes. Booker gets an enziguri and sidewalk slam, bodyslam and spinaroni. Benoit superplexes Booker before he can missile dropkick. Rolling Germans into a dragon suplex gets two. Benoit whipped into corner, and gets scissorkicked. Missile dropkicks gets the win. I’d say ***3/4 stars. He’ll fight Finley later in the show.

Chavo Guerrero talks to Lee Marshall at wcwwrestling.com.

Sat-turn (ooh yeah!) vs. Kanyon. Mortis had recently been unmasked, and was supposed to face Raven. A fake Mortis entered, and Kanyon sneak attacked from behind. Kanyon dominates and knocks Kidman off the apron. Saturn gets a kick combo, but Kanyon legdrops Saturn off the ropes. The Flock pulls out Kanyon, and Saturn dives on everyone. Saturn places Kanyon on the ropes, and hits a springboard clothesline to the outside. Saturn springboards off a chair inside, then a triple jump moonsault. Kanyon misses an elbow, Saturn hits a neckbreaker. The pace slows down, and Kanyon hits a hot shot. Both get near falls, Saturn turns the Rings of Saturn to a pin for two. Kanyon hits an F5 for two, then a reversed version of it for two. Saturn suplexes out of a reverse Russian Legsweep, tries a DVD, then a sidekick. Both fall outside from the turnbuckle, and Raven, dressed as Mortis, fights another Mortis inside and outside the ring. Reverse Russian Legsweep, and Kanyon wins. Raven Mortis Evenflows Kanyon. ***. Raven bashes Saturn verbally until the Flock strikes, and Saturn throws suplexes as Raven escapes.

Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho. Malenko forfeited the cruiserweight belt for another shot at Y2J. Winner gets the title. Jericho’s father Ted Irvine apparently appeared on the previous Thunder. Dean punches Jericho down, and chokes away. Jericho hits a shoulderblock, tries the Liontamer, but Dean gets out. Deano Machino hits a brainbuster for two. Flair flip from Jericho leads to a dive on Malenko outside. Suplex, and “C’Mon Baby!” pin. Jericho with the sleeper, and Dean locks in one of his own. Jericho takes over, and does the goosestep. He misses the Lionsault, and gets dropkicked, and Dean gets two. Bulldog from the top. Jericho hurricanranas Dean from the top. Jericho gets the Liontamer, but Dean makes the ropes. Another try, and Malenko gets the Texas Cloverleaf. Jericho gets the bottom rope, then gets a backbreaker. He taunts Dean about his deceased father, and Dean snaps and hits Jericho with a chair outside. They fight to the back, and Jericho flees, almost getting hit by a car in the process. ***-ish. Malenko is disqualified, and Jericho wins the title.

Eddie Guerrero apologizes to Chavo at the Internet position.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Reese- A video package shows Juvy (now unmasked) in Mexico. “Reese is tall, Juvy is small,” Lodi’s sign reads. Reese was a member of the Flock, and was a really big guy. Reese overpowers Juvy, who keeps punching and getting swatted away. Juvy plays cat-and-mouse outside, springboards onto him, but gets posted. Reese throws Juvy back in. Juvy attacks the knee. Juvy jumps on his back from the ropes, and rakes his eyes. Reese falls to a knee, but falls back with Juvy. Backbreaker stretches Juvy. He shakes Juvy in a bearhug. Juvy low blows him, but runs into a fist. Reese grabs a chair, the ref grabs it, and Van Hammer whacks Reese with a chair into a hurricanrana for the win. **. I believe Hammer had recently quit/been kicked out of the Flock.

Chavo vs. Eddie Guerrero- Chavo slaps Eddie to start. They exchange slaps, and Chavo backdrops him. Eddie hits his shoulder on the post, and Chavo takes over. Two hurricanranas, and Eddie bails. Chavo throws him in, but Eddie catches him. Chavo hits a moonsault for two. Eddie ducks and charges, and Chavo goes out. Brainbuster inside, and Eddie slaps him until Chavo snaps. Eddie runs, and Chavo chases until Eddie hides behind the ref, Eddie attacks the knee, and locks in a figure four. Gory special, to a camel clutch. Hanging backbreaker, and he spins Chavo and drops him. Eddie backdropped out, and corkscrew splash out. Eddie plays possum, and knocks Chavo off the top. Eddie misses a frog splash. Tornado DDT, and Chavo goes out. Hits another for a surprise win. Feels like another ***, as it just was slower than I would have expected.

Booker T vs. Fit Finley. I had forgotten about this one. Harlem Sidekick gets one. Chops, and Booker clotheslines him out, and dives onto him. Back in, but Finley turns a scissorkick into a powerbomb, then puts him in a leglock.  Finley stomps away, and works the leg. Booker gets two from a backslide. Not much is going on here. Finley throws him outside. Inside, Vaderbomb by Finley. Booker hits the sidekick, and a powerslam. Scissorkick, and spinaroni, but Finley knocks him down. He goes for a tombstone, but Booker reverses. Finley misses a charge, and Booker piledrives him for a win. **1/4, was kind of boring. Stevie Ray comes out to congratulate Booker.

Konnan vs. Goldberg. Curt Hennig and Rick Rude lead Konnan in. Hmm, Goldberg was from Parts Unknown at this point. He was also the U.S. champion. Goldberg headlocks K-Dawg, and puts him in an anklelock. Konnan kicks Goldberg, but gets speared. Jackhammer spells a quick end. This was his 100th win, supposedly. Hennig and Rude then jump their teammate, revealing an now black and white shirt. Lex Luger and Kevin Nash run in for the save. *

Piper/Savage vs. Hart/Hogan. Piper and Savage weren’t getting along, and were scheduled for a match following this. First time that either team has been together, Tenay says. Hogan was champion at the time. Piper brawls with Hogan to start, and Macho and Piper doubleteam. Quick tags on Hogan. Disciple slips Hogan the belt to hit Piper. Hart takes over on Piper. Doubleteam on Piper. Savage goes crazy trying to get in. Macho swings a chair on the outside, and Piper gets Hart with it. Savage gets in with Hogan, goes for the flying elbow, but his knee gives out and he falls. Hart locks on the sharpshooter, and Savage gives up. *1/2. Savage was crippled, Piper and Hogan were old, and Bret wasn’t that involved or maybe into it.

Mean Gene tries to get an interview, asking Piper how they can have a match, Piper helps Macho up, and Macho clotheslines Piper down. Elbowdrop from Macho for two. Macho nails the referee, and Piper locks on the figure four for the win. Barely was a match.

Giant vs. Sting, WCW tag team title- They had a rematch on Raw two years ago. Giant comes out smoking a cigarette, for some reason. Tenay said Sting talked about Giant needing to get in better shape and to stop smoking in an interview, and thought this was a response. He blows smoke in Sting’s face, and he slaps Giant. Giant misses a splash, and gets Stinger splashed. He kicks down Sting on another attempt, though. Chops on Sting in the corner. Sting tries a bodypress, but bounces off. Sting gets launched into the top turnbuckle. Bearhug, he gets out and hits two Stinger splashes, and bodyslams Giant. Impressive. Scorpion Deathlock, but Giant is too strong. Scorpion Death Drop gets only two. Sting blocks a chokeslam, and hits the Scorpion Death Drop again for two. Giant charges to the corner but gets kicked, and Sting hits the death drop off the turnbuckle for the win. **. Seemed short and was mostly both doing their finishers, but OK for what it was. Sting teamed with Nash and Luger later I believe, much like the Spirit Squad and Demolition have done.

Wrap-up: A decent show for the time period. The Hogan/Hart vs. Savage/Piper stuff did nothing for me, and Giant and Sting fighting over the tag belts wasn’t a great main event. As usual at the time, the undercard saved the show, though I felt Eddie and Chavo never did have the match they were capable of, here or in WWE. Jericho and Malenko was a great feud too, but they didn’t have a typical cruiserweight match here. Benoit and Booker was good too, but I think they had better, including earlier this year.