Ted Blanchard's SNME Podcast #2- The Main Event!

Since this week I reviewed The Main Event from February 5, 1988, I decided it was well worthy of a podcast, too! Give it a listen, and hey, I also just released the Championship Edition of Clash of the Champions: The Story of Sting at Amazon! Just click the link to the right, and have a happy holiday season.

The Main Event- February 5, 1988

Before we hit it I'd like to announce that my new Championship Edition of Clash of the Champions: The Story of Sting is now available on Amazon, in e-book and paperback formats. Have at it, hosses.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage says the Honky Tonk Man will have a "one-way ticket back to Disgraceland" tonight. Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart says Savage is lucky that Honky doesn't play the piano. Andre the Giant can't wait to choke Hulk Hogan again. Note- Hulk has the old title belt on in his intro promo.

Live from Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, Indiana

I shouldn't have to tell you what a big deal this show was. This was the first time the WWF had run live on NBC, in primetime no less. And this was the singles rematch between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant from Wrestlemania III. I clearly remember watching this the night of my dad's birthday party and hurrying through dinner so I wouldn't miss a thing.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura predicts the champion is going down. He also predicts the Hart Foundation and The Honky Tonk Man will be victorious in their matchups tonight.

We see a Hogan workout montage set to what was later Jake "The Snake" Roberts' theme. I presume he didn't have it yet. Hulk poses and laughs like a maniac at the end.

"Mean"Gene Okerlund interviews Honky. He and Jimmy Hart say tonight he's taking Miss Elizabeth down to the end of lonely street at Heartbreak Hotel. Also, Randy's going to be "in the ghetto." 

WWF intercontiental championship match, The Honky Tonk Man (c) vs. Randy Savage- It's funny that Peggy Sue is introduced as Honky's girlfriend, when he was just talking about getting Liz tonight. Gene interviews Macho and Liz as Honky dances in the ring. "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Macho Man!" Macho chases Honky out before the bell. Honky gyrates as Liz as Savage is distracted by the ref. The chase is on to begin. Savage catches Honky, and elbows his head. Savage snaps Honky's neck on the top rope, whips him to the corner and hits a back elbow. Honky goes out to confer with Jimmy, but Savage knocks their noggins. Savage tosses Honky in but menaces Jimmy. Hart grabs his leg on the apron and Honky attacks. Savage punches out of a sunset flip attempt, but eventually misses a corner charge. Honky misses an elbow drop but Savage goes after Hart, who runs into the ring. Hart dropped the megaphone, so Honky grabs it and waffles Savage with it. Honky gets two off of that. Honky twists Macho's neck but Savage shoulderblocks him. HTM hits him in the gut with a knee, ,knocking him out. HTM then pounces on him outside. Back in, he gyrates at Liz instead of attacking Savage. Hart chokes Savage while Honky jaws at Liz. Macho sort of Hulks up, but Honky knees him in the gut and clotheslines him. Honky drops elbows to the sternum area, sayeth Vince McMahon. HTM goes out to talk to Liz, and Jimmy has her corned. Savage then runs out and attacks. He tosses Honky back in, then throws him over the top. Flying axehandle, then back in Savage slams Honky and goes up. He hits another axehandle for two. Savage throws Hart in, and Honky accidentally hits Hart with a flying knee. Savage puts Honky in the sleeper, but catches Peggy Sue (his future manager, btw) going after Liz. Savage mediates, and catches Honky trying to attack him. He whips Honky to the post, and Savage wins by countout. You don't hear people talking about how he choked because he one by countout. That's probably because he had a bigger win a couple of months later. *3/4. There was a lot of story hear, plus Honky wasn't a great worker. Hart hits Savage with the megaphone, and HTM threatens to hit Savage with the guitar. Liz then covers him and HTM stops mid-swing, and Savage has time to recover and punch HTM, then he smashes the guitar. There were always rumors that HTM threatened to leave with the title unless the finish was changed to this, but I don't know if those actually have validity. Savage holds the ropes open for Liz, possibly for the first time. He also put her up on his shoulder. 

We take a look at Wrestlemania III, which Ventura calls "very disputed." Then we see Andre attacking Hogan after he had beaten King Kong Bundy. The contract signing was then done at the very first Royal Rumble event. I'm disappointed we didnt' get to hear the promo where Andre told Dibiase he would give him the Word World Wrestling Federation championship.

Gene talks to the heels. "Your account is overdrawn, Hogan, and Andre's gonna close it."

WWF championship match, Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- In Hogan's prematch promo he still has the old belt. Seconds later, he's walking out with the eagle one (I refuse to say "winged" eagle, since all eagles have wings). Hulk tries to hit Andre with his new belt. He eventually attacks, and even pulls Virgil and Dibiase in for big boots. Punches to Andre, then an axe bomber. He can't get Andre off of his feet, though. A flying clothesline doesn' do it. He knocks Virgil and Dibiase off of the apron, and then knocks the money out of Ted' hand. He clotheslines Andre in the corner, punches and takes the eyes, and Andre slams Hulk off of the top. A headbut to the mat misses, but Andre chokes Hulk when he goes for a pin. He whips Hulk back-first to the buckles, then stands on his hand. Andre slams Hulk, and headbbutts him. Andre chops him too. He whips Hulk, boots him in the chest, then falls down himself. Hogan goes outside, and Virgil tosses him back in. Andre chokes with his strap, then more choking. Hogan Hulks Up, and knees him in the gut. Hulk goes to the middle rope, and a clothesline takes Andre down. Hulk hits the ropes (probably for a leg drop), but Virgil grabs his ankle. Hulk hits the other rope and leg tops Andre, but Hebner is arguing with Virgil. Andre headbutts Hulk, duplexes Hogan, and Dave Hebner counts the pin even though Hulk got his shoulder up. *

So Andre is presented the belt and announced as champion, and then tells Gene it's no surprise he won the "world tag team championship," and that he surrenders it to Ted Dibiase. Then we get the awesome visual of the two Dave Hebners arguing in the ring. I feel like I already knew there were two of them through the Apter mags, but I can't say for certain. Dave Hebner kicks his brother's ass, Hogan grabs him, then tosses him out of the ring onto Dibiase and Virgil.   

WWF tag team championship, The Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force (c)- We now see footage from what appears to be the arena's hard camera, as the Harts are in the ring and "Girls in Cars" plays out Strike Force. Then we go to Hulk with Mean Gene. We get the famous "how much money did they spend on the plastic surgery?" promo. Hulk claims he had all of the bases covered. Gene shows him footage of Hulk getting his shoulder up, and Hogan rants and raves while we see Blackjack Lanza giving a "cut" signal.

We return to the ring and see Jim Neidhart grab Rick Martel by the trunks. The Anvil holds Martel for a cheap shot, which brings in Tito Santana. Bret Hart piledrives Martel for two, he then tries a sunset flip but Martel plops down on him for the three-count. I think the pin was added footage for the Network; I don't remember seeing an ending back in the day. I can't rate the match based on the little that I saw.

This show is of course recommended, but the I-C and tag matches are on multiple DVD releases if you wanna go that way.

Saturday Night's Main Event #14- Rematchitude!

From Landover, Maryland.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts plans on changing Sika and Mr. Fuji's futures tonight. Tito Santana and Rick Martel yell "Strike Hard, Strike First, Bolsheviks beware!" Bobby "The Brain" Heenan says Andre the Giant will officially be in King Kong Bundy's corner for his rematch with Hulk Hogan tonight. Hulk says Bundymania is dead, and Hulkamania will live forever. 

Jesse "The Body" Ventura chides Vince McMahon for speaking for him and wishing the crowd Happy New Year. Then Jesse says "Happy New Year."

Slick says they aren't im-pressed, they are de-pressed by Strike Force. The peace-loving Bolsheviks bring a message of sportsmanship and good citizenship. Zhukov was fresh off of the boat from the AWA at this point. 

Best two out of three falls, WWF tag team championship, The Bolsheviks vs. Strike Force (c)- Nikolai sings the Soviet National Anthem. We see footage of Strike Force's win over the Hart Foundation the previous fall. Vince said it was the first time we'd seen the Boston Crab. Boris gets a shoulderblock but Tito slams him and gets an armdrag. Martel tags, and they both punch Zhukov in the belly welly. Quick tags as the work the arm. NIkolai in, and Martel rolls him up for two. He then gets a small package for two. Boris in, but gets rammed into the buckles. Tito ducks under a clothesline and hits a flying bodypress, but Volkoff breaks up the pin. Lariat from Volkoff gets two. Nikolai knees him in the face, then chokes him with the bottom rope. Zhukov then chokes with his boot. Legally in, he hits a back suplex for two. Slam by Zhukov, but he misses an elbow. Santana crawls to make the tag, and Martel hiptosses Zhukov and nails Volkoff. Baaaack bodydrop leads to a Boston Crab, and Tito hits Volkoff with the flying forearm. 

Santana dropkicks Volkoff over the top to begin, and they hit a double dropkick on Zhukov. Martel slams him, then locks on the Boston Crab until Volkoff breaks it up. He drops Martel on teh top rope, and gutwrench suplexes him. Volkoff presses him into a gutbuster for two. Martel gets rammed into Zhukov's boot, and the Russians doubleteam with quick tags. Martel kicks Volkoff out of the corner, but can't make the tag. The Russians hit him with a back elbow, and a Volkoff kneedrop gets two. Martel gets a sunset flip for two, and hits a dropkick. Martel makes the tag, and Tito dropkicks both Russians twice each. He hits the forearm on Zhukov but Nikolai breaks it up. Nikolai grabs the cane but hits Zhukov by mistake, as Strike Force win in consecutive falls. ** It's funny to see the Russians positioned as a legitimate threat, after seeing them as glorified jobbers the rest of their run.

Mr. Fuji and Sika have a giant sub and mustard, and Fuji says Damian is dinner. Free advice: never take food cooked by Mr. Fuji. 

Sika vs. Jake Roberts- Jake armdrags Sike twice, and works the arm. Sike misses punches, and grabs the top rope on an Irish whip, and gestures for Sika to kiss his bottom. Great job, you outsmarted a jungle savage.  Jake shoulders him in the lower abdomen in the corner, but Jake stops and punches him. Sika then gets a baaaack bodydrop to turn the tide. Fuji gets cheap shots as Sika distracts the ref. Sika gets a nerve hold on Jake. Sika then ducks for a backdrop but Jake knees him. Fuji grabs Jake's leg but then Sika misses a charge and gets pinned. * Jake gets the bag, backdrops a carging Sika out, then DDTs Fuj the Stooge. He dumps Damian on Fuj just 'cause. Jesse wisely notices Fuj survived with his hat still in place.

Heenan tells Okerlund he won't be in Bundy's corner, but Andre will (doctor's orders, of course). 

WWF championship, King Kong Bundy vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- We see footage of Hulk picking Heenan up by the neck at the last SNME, after Heenan caused Hogan to get counted out against Bundy. Heel Andre kind of made Bundy and Big John Studd obsolete, in my opinion. Hulk is wearing the alternate full yellow bandana instead of headband, as his fashion choices on these SNMEs continue to vex me. He's preparing a 24-gun salute, he says. Hulk gestures at Andre to come in the ring, as Ventura says he's not concentrating on Bundy. They lock up and Hogan shoves Bundy away. He pushes a charging Bundy into the buckles, and rams his head to the top buckles around the ring. Hulk big-boots Bundy, which knocks him to the floor. Andre gave him advice, but it probably didn't include "get punched and clotheslined." Bundy takes a breather again, and back inside Hogan drops him with punches and wrings his arm. Bundy reverses, and yanks Hogan's hair to get him down. Hogan punches and hits shoulderblocks, before taking a back elbow. Bundy works his arm on the top rope, and rams him into the buckles. Hogan punches his way out, and slams Bundy. He misses an elbow drop with his bad arm, however. Bundy slams him but also misses elbowdrops. Hogan whips him to the buckles and clotheslines him. Bundy reverses a second time, and whips Hogan into the corner. The ref then gets avalanched in the corner. Hogan punches Bundy through the ropes as Dave Hebner comes in to take over.  The ref who bellows a lot does a stretcher job, and Bundy comes back in the ring. Bundy rakes his eyes. I was hoping the match was going to end there. Clothesline by Bundy, and he drops a knee for two. Bundy chops Hogan out of the ring, as Andre chides Hebner about counting slow. I do like that Dave Hebner is now involved here and is arguing with Andre. Bundy stands on Hogan as he tries to regain the ring. Bundy shoulderblocks Hogan down, and gets a two count. He chinlocks Hogan as Andre says Hogan quit. Bundy hits an avalanche, but celebrates before making a cover. Bundy then hits another at Andre's instance, and a splash gets two. Hulk whips Bundy sternum-first into the buckles, and when he falls on his back Hogan legdrops him for the win. *1/2. Andre gets on the apron and Hogan challenges him. Andre waves him off and goes outside, but climbs back in and famously grabs Hogan by the hair for a headbutt, then a choke. The British Bulldogs try to pry Hulk off. They hit him with axehandles, but Hogan rams their heads together and tosses them out. Andre grabs the choke again, as the Junkyard Dog, Jake Roberts and Strike Force now try to pry Andre off. Hacksaw Duggan then cracks Andre with his 2x4 to get him off, which finally works. More foreshadowing there. Andre holds up the belt in the ring, then lays it at Hulk's feet.  

Jesse talks to Jimmy Hart and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. From the sounds of it Hammer just took Jimmy on as his manager. Maybe Luscious Johnny V was fired, because Dino Bravo (who is just the worst) had Frenchy Martin as his manager at the first Royal Rumble later in the month.

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs. Koko B. Ware- When I saw how long this match was going to be, I procrastinated for as long as I could. Unfortunately, kids, I'm not totally enjoying these shows. The huge angles I grew up on are fun to watch for the millionth time (and I am psyched for doing The Main Event next week), but these undercard matches are intolerable. Anyway, Koko knocks Hammer down with a shoulderblock, but takes a Hot Shot. Valentine drops the hammer for two. Chops and elbows to the head commence. Hammer drops an elbow from the top, then kind of does Paul Orndorff's Boogie Woogie elbow for two. Koko goes out, and Hammer works him over on the apron. Valentine hits a clothesline, which makes me realize why his LJN figure had its arm outstretched. Brutus Beefcake wanders out, and Koko gets a small package near-fall. A Koko backslide also gets two, and Valentine bails out. Referee Joey Marella hops out and tells Beefcake to hit the bricks. After a break Valentine whips Koko to the corner twice, and gets a backdrop. An elbow gets two. Hammer slams Koko, and goes to the top (!). Koko slams Hammer off, and they slug away.  Koko headbutts Hammer, and he does the "fall like a tree" spot. Koko does a fist drop off the buckles for two. Hammer gets the figure four and the win. *1/2. It could have been worse. Hammer gets the figure four again, and holds it until Beefcake returns. He chases Hammer to the back, and Koko grabs Jimmy Hart by the ankle.Beefcake then returns and menaces Hart with the hedge clippers. He actually tried to cut Hart's hair with them, which I don't remember him ever doing.

Gene talks to Andre and Heenan. Andre said it felt so good to choke Hogan, so he did it again and again. Bobby says he's got big plans, and is "this" close to cinching the biggest deal ever. Boy was he ever. Andre chokes Gene like he did to Bob Uecker at Wrestlemania IV (and how Big Show refused to do to me for a photo). 

Gene and Jesse yack outside of Hogan's lockerroom. He might need a trach, may have a crushed windpipe, maybe a crushed larynx. Way to cover all of the bases, Gene. 

Saturday Night's Main Event Number...

Randy "Macho Man" Savage and Miss Elizabeth do a promo, seemingly from the Twilight Zone. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan promises a "huge" surprise for Hulk Hogan tonight, and proclaims "Bundymania" will live forever. Gee, what could Heenan's surprise be?

From Seattle, Wash. I wonder if this was the post-Thanksgiving weekend. That would put this airing two days after the first Survivor Series, though this show would've been taped earlier.

We take a look at Danny Davis hitting George "The Animal" Steele with a ring bell. "Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to Steele, who is playing with an Elizabeth figure. Please tell me we're done with the Liz-Savage-Steele stuff.

"Dangerous" Danny Davis vs. George Steele- Steele bites to begin, and rams Davis to the buckle. He picks up Davis by the throat, and Danny bails.  Davis attacks but Steele no-sells and knocks the former referee to the floor. Then reread the last sentence twice. Finally Steele rolls out after Davis, and Steele grabs a chair. When he drops it Davis hits him with a foreign object, and chokes Steele with it. After that spot is repeated a few times, Steele lifts him with a hammerlock, and the ref calls for the bell. -* Somehow it was actually a DQ against Davis. Other than Steele not being on the Survivor Series, why were they wasting network TV time on this?

We see footage from the last SNME, of Bret keeping Savage from pinning the Honky Tonk Man for the Intercontiental championship. I think there was bigger news coming out of that segment than how the match ended.

Bret "Hit Man" Hart vs. Randy Savage- Ok, now we see Honky Tonk shoving down Liz before hitting Savage with the guitar. Apparently his earlier promo was from the Danger Zone. Savage tells Okerlund "vengeance is mine." We see Brian Bosworth after a commercial break. Macho chases the Hart Foundation, and hammers Bret. He sends Bret into the post outside. Hart sells his shoulder. Macho pounds away but misses a charge. Hart chokes Mach in the corner, then drops elbows. Macho kicks Bret coming off the ropes, and the ref makes him break after a hair pull. Bret bumps from the apron to the guardrail, as he is wont to do. Savage then knocks Jimmy Hart and Jim Neidhart’s noggins. He then goes for an axe handle on Bret, who hits Savage with the megaphone when he lands. Neidhart then tosses savage back in. Bret kicks savage in the gut as he comes off of the ropes. Beer drops a leg, and slams savage into the buckles (like a safer Buckle Bomb). Bret pile drives Savage for two. Bret sort of misses a corner charge, then Savage whips him into the opposite corner. Savage neck snaps him, then hits an axe handle for two. Bret hits a back breaker, then misses the elbow off the middle buckle. Savage leaps over the top while snapping Hart’s throat on it, for two. The ref pulls Savage away as he smothers Bret against the ropes, and Savage gets backdropped over the top on a failed charge. Savage holds his ankle outside, and I think that might be legit. Liz unties his boot, and the Hart’s swarm like sharks. The ref let Savage regain his composure, as he lays bootlegs on the mat. Bret attacks the ankle, then rams it into the post. Bret drops a knee to the ankle, then applies an Indian Deathlock. Savage pushes Hart into the post again, and gets two. Hart works on the ankle, and grabs a half-crab. Bret slams Savage, but Macho rolls through for the win. ***3/4. Savage tries to hit Jimmy with the megaphone, while still selling the ankle. This just makes me angry all over again about Savage wasting a year facing Steele when he could have more matches like this one.

Heenan tells us humanoids we must have as much brains as this runt (Okerlund) has hairs on his head.

WWF championship, King Kong Bundy vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- The surprise is Andre, justl like last month. Hogan talks about a blue tint to his muscles, or something. His secondary survival system will wipe out the heels. Hulk jaws at Andre, who says that’s my belt. The two butt heads, and exchange shoves. Hulk grabs a headlock, and he can’t knock Bundy down with shoulderblocks. A knee lift drops Bundy, though, and gets two. Hogan goes for a slam but Bundy falls on top for two. Bundy then attacks Hogan’s back. Bundy slams Hogan but misses a kneedrop. Hulk then gets his special, and even sort of hits the Axebomber. He drops elbows for two. Hogan punches away, but gets forearmed off of the ropes and clotheslined. A kneedrop gets two, and Bundy grabs a chinlock. Hulk eventually Hulks Up. Bundy misses a clothesline and Hulk punches him. Big Boot, but when he goes for the legdrop Andre trips Hogan. Bundy tries to attack, but Hogan punches him which knocks him to the floor. Andre takes off his jacket, but Howard Finkel  announces if Andre doesn't leave right now Hogan will win the match. I think the trip should've been enough reason to end the match. Heenan and Bundy plead with the giant to leave, and cooler heads prevail. Andre knocks down a camera man as he leaves.

The match resumes and Bundy headbutts Hogan. He rams Hogan to the top buckles, but Hogan reverses and gets a clothesline. Now Hogan rams him to each buckle, and gets chopped. Hogan hits a flying knee but misses and elbowdrop. Bundy works over Hogan's back for two. Bundy stands on Hogan's back and gets a bearhug. Hogan elbows Bundy's head, but gets droppedd by the big man. Bundy hits an avalanche, then splashes Hogan on his back for two. Hulk Up sequence begins, and Hulk slams Bundy. KKB rolls outside, and pulls Hulk out with him. Hulk pushes Bundy in, and Heenan grabs his ankle. Bundy wins by countout. *1/2. Hulk then knocks Bundy out of the ring, and pulls Heenan up by the throat. He drops the brain, and does it again. And again.

Gene talks to Hercules, who will now be without his manager. The fake pillars behind them is a nice touch.

Hercules vs. Bam Bam Bigelow- Gene talks to Bigelow and his manager Oliver Humperdink. Jesse isn't sure who is uglier, Bigelow or Humperdink. That's a tough call. I really liked Bigelow in this era, and wish things would have worked out for him in the WWF. They shoulderblock each other, and no one budges. Herc knees him to the midsection and pounds away, and whips Bigelow to the buckles. Jercules misses a charge but gets a back elbow, then clotheslines Bigelow over the top. Hercules forearms him while he's on the apron. Bigelow then snap mares him over the top. They brawl outside, to the delight of Boz. Bigelow slams him as the bell rings. Was not expecting a draw this early in Bigelow's run. Bigelow gets on the mic and says he didn't come there for a draw, and if Herc has guts let's finish it. They continue and got into the three-point stance. Neither man falls from that. They run it back, and when Herc goes low Bigelow cartwheels over him. Bammer then knocks him down with a shoulderblock, and punches him on the mat. Bigelow misses a dropkick, and Herc measures him with elbows. He drops a knee but stops to taunt. Herc goes up to the top, but Bam Bam catches him. He military presses Herc, slams him, then hits his apron slingshot finisher for the win. *3/4. Herc also got busted open.

Boz and friends yell to Jesse when they return from break. Gene talks to Bundy and Andre. It's odd that Bundy was gone soon after this, since they put him over Hogan. Bundy called this the greatest night of his life. Ventura strolls in to congratulate Bundy.

Gene then talks to the Hulkster. Hogan calls it a shallow victory. He hopes Andre is in Bundy's corner if they have a rematch. Hulk will have the Hulkamaniacs in his corner. I guess I was forgetting they had two SNME matches.

Vince asks Gene if he has an update on Heenan's neck. Gene said no, but who cares, and then Jesse shoved him.

Bret-Savage was great, and the Hogan-Bundy match served a Giant purpose. It may not seem like it, but the shows are slightly improving, George Steele notwithstanding.

Saturday Night's Main Event #12- The Mega, yeah, Mega Powers unite!

From Hershey, Pennsylvania

This holiday weekend, you can snag my second e-book of AWA show reviews FREE, by clicking the second link on the right said. Tell 'em Teddy T sent ya.

WWF intercontinental championship, Honky Tonk Man (c) vs. Randy Savage- Lockup. And they twirl around the ring. HTM cheapshot. Savage kicks him on a backdrop attempt. Savage drops HTM’s throat on the top as he leaps out. Savage chokes HTM on the mat. He rams Honky into the buckles. Necksnap and kneedrop. He whips Honky to the corner for a back elbow. Jimmy Hart menaces Elizabeth outside, and as Randy stalks Jimmy, Honky attacks. Back in, Honky whips Savage but gets elbowed on the head and punched. Savage misses a kneedrop, and Honky knees his back and gyrates at Liz. Honky with a punch and fistdrop. He heads outside and traps her between him and Hart, but Savage saves. Axehandle to the floor, and he rams Honky’s head into the top buckle. Hart breaks up a pin attempt, then Savage gets a back suplex broken up. Savage goes up, kicks Hart and hits an axe handle, but Hart pulls on the ref. Savage pulls in Hart for a KO punch, and breaks up a sunset-flip attempt. Honky bails, and the Hart Foundation appear. Savage chokes him on the top rope, and with his knee on the mat. honky gets knocked to the floor, and he and the Harts carry Jimmy out. The actually return after the break, and Savage works him over. He misses a corner charge, and Honky gets a baaack bodydrop. Honky punches away in the corner, and misses a fistdrop. Savage gets a baaack bodydrop as Honky begs off. He chokes Honky in the corner, and hits a back elbow for two. A suplex also gets two. Honky rakes the eyes and throws Savage to the Harts, and Bret drops him throat-first on the railing. Honky gets two off of an elbow. Savage backdrops out of Honky’s Shake Rattle and Roll attempt. Bodyslam and Savage drops the elbow. Bret Hart breaks up the pin for the DQ (**½), and they triple-team Savage. Honky grabs the guitar, and Liz begs him not to hit Randy.

He eventually shoves her aside, and kabongs Savage while the Harts hold him. I never noticed before, but a spaghetti strap on her dress broke when she hit the mat. Grarrr. Finally Liz brings Hulk Hogan out, and he gets triple-teamed at first, then clears the ring with Savage. The heroes back up into each other, but do the first Megapower handshake, first offered by Savage. Hulk, Liz and Savage stand triumphant in the ring, though Savage didn't regain the title and is probably concussed #justsaying.

WWF championship, Sika vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Mr. Fuji says he loves what he just saw involving Hogan. Kim Chee's also there, because why not. Hogan says they've stepped into his jungle. The cartoon of Sika's head is tremendous. I saw this matchup two months earlier at the Wisconsin State Fair. That was my first live event. Here Hulk and Sika tie up, and Sika beats him down. Fuji chokes Hogan with his cane, and Sika chops and stomps Hogan. Fuji jams Hulk in the throat with his cane, but Sika misses a headbutt. Hulk clotheslines him to the floor. Hulk hits a big boot, and drops elbows. Hulk punches Sika, and attacks Kim Chee. Sika then strikes him and Hogan flips out to the floor. Sika attacks on the floor, but Hulk sends him into the post. FUji tries to jot Hulk with the cane, but Dave Hebner stops him. Two refs try to get the cane away from Hulk. A charging Sika gets rammed into the buckles, but Hulk misses a big splash. Sika drops a headbutt and chokes Hogan. Fuji also gets in on the choking with his cane. He chops Hulk's throat, and gets two. He gets a nerve hold on Hogan's pec so they rest for awhile. Like, I had time to play on my phone and get a beverage while it transpired. Hogan semi-Hulked up, but got knocked back down and headbutted repeatedly by Sika. Sika covered for two, then the real Hulking Up started. Punches, slam, legdrop, pin. * There wasn't much to this one. I can't remember if this is how the match I saw went, but it's probably the same. Hulk beat up the managers afterward, too.

Gene with Paul Orndorff and his new manager Sir Oliver Humperdink. I totally forgot about this pairing. He's tired of lying to himself, and has declared war on the Heenan Family.

Paul Orndorff vs. King Kong Bundy- No intro for Mr. Wonderful, though he taunts Bobby Heenan, who is on commentary. Heenan says he's there for a reason. Are you getting yet what's going to happen here? Paul fires away to begin, but misses a dropkick. Bundy rams his head into the buckles, and chokes him on the middle rope. Bundy forearms him and chokes with his foot. Orndorff gets a sunset flip for two. Impressive. Bundy elbows Orndorff in the sternum. Bundy slams him but misses an elbowdrop. Orndorff rakes Bundy's eyes on the top rope, and drops and elbow from the top. A fistdrop gets two, and Heenan throws off his headphones and leaves. Orndorff hits a dropkick for two. So of course Heenan went to get Andre the Giant, and retured to commentary. Andre huddles with Bundy on the floor. Bundy elbows Orndorff to the head, and rams him to the buckles. A kneedrop to the head gets two. Bundy whips Orndorff but gets kicked, and Mr. Wonderful pounds away. Orndorff drops the boogie woogie elbow, but misses the third one. Bundy hiptosses him, and drops a knee. Sideheadlock, and Orndorff "Mr. Wonderfuls" up. He evades a Bundy charge in the corner, and rams his head to the buckles. Paul gets whipped into the corner, and Andre pulls him back so Bundy can avalanche him, which leads to the pin. *

WWF tag team championship, Young Stallions vs. Hart Foundation (c)- Anvil locks up with Roma, and  shoves him off. He misses a charge, and gets armdragged. Quick tag to Powers, as he jumps in on the arm but gets slammed. He backdrops Bet as he rushes in, and sends him to Powers' knee. A sunset flip on Bret gets two. Powers hits a crossbody for two, and shoulderblocks Bret. Hart hits a knee to Powers' midsection, then hits a backbreaker. Anvil pounds away, and Bret cheapshots Powers while the ref is distracted. Powers rammed to Bret's boot, and they doubleteam. Bret comes in with an elbowdrop, and he chokes Powers.  More doubleteaming, and Anvil drops Powers on the top rope. More doubleteamery. Powers leapfrogs Bret to the get the tag, and it turns into a Pier 6 brawl. The Harts are rammed together, the Anvil is dropkicked out, and a Roma powerslam gets two. The Harts hit the Hart Attack with the ref distracted for three. **3/4. If it was longer it could have hit three.

Gene coins the phrase Megapowers as they shake hands. Hulk says we aren't sure what we're dealing with here. It's another solar system, besides Hulkamania! Hogan gave Savage direction instead of his reckless abandon. Gene thinks it's the guitar to the head talking.

We are also treated to the "Piledriver" music video. I've seen it a million times and I have nothing to add, so watch for yourself: Watch now

This was a good episodes, since the Savage-Honky-Hogan angle takes up about half of the show. The Harts-Stallions match is decent, too.

Saturday Night's Main Event #11- Enough Savage-Steele already!

From South Bend, Indiana

If you're planning on participating in Cyber Monday or just shopping at Amazon this season, I urge you to click the link to the right on this page. You don't even have to buy my e-book to help the site. I also did a podcast on the last episode of SNME that you can listen to here: It's my first podcast, don't judge

Randy "Macho Man" Savage narrates footage of George "The Animal" Steele, um, stealing Elizabeth, then interfering at Wrestlemania III. Ricky Steamboat defends his intercontinental championship for the first time tonight against Hercules. The Harts will give those crybaby British Bulldogs a rematch. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan isn't going to let that commie Nikolai Volkoff sing the Russian national anthem. Bobby Heenan is going to show the footage of how Andre the Giant beat Hulk Hogan. "I am the champion!" the giant says. Hulk will show us, exclusively on SNME, how he beat the greatest challenge of his career. 

They show footage from "earlier today" of Ken Patera beating up Heenan, explaining his neck brace. I'm guessing that aired in some markets on Superstars earlier that day, though I for instance wouldn't have seen it until Sunday.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to Mr. Fuji, the new manager of Kamala. "I will help Kamala!"

Kamala vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts- We see footage from the Snake Pit of the Honky Tonk Man breaking a guitar over Jake's head. Gene then gets scared by Damian, who also makes Kamala jump and run when Jake dumps him out in the ring. As Jake puts Damian away Kamala attacks from behind, and kicks Jake in the midsection. Jake pounds away, but Kamala chops him in the throat. Kamala grabs a bearhug. Jake gets free, and stomps on Kamala's feet. Kamala drops him with a chop to the head, and chokes away on the mat. Kamala chokes him on the bottom rope. Kim Chee shouts orders to the Ugandan, but Jake uppercuts Kamala. A headbutt from the giant drops Jake, and he hends up chasing the snake around the ring. Jake kneelifts him coming back in, then hits one off the top rope. Kim Chee attacks with the ref distracted, and Kamala hits a big splash for the win. *1/2. Kim Chee thens unmasks/undresses to reveal Honky, with his jumpsuit under the Kim Chee suit. He gives Jake Shake, Rattle and Roll. Jesse acting like Honky's always been Kim Chee is pretty funny.

We see WMIII footage of Hulk and Andre entering. 

Another fucking George Steele vs. Randy Savage match here. The Bulldogs and Hart Foundation are jawing at each other from their lumberjack positions. 

Savage vs. Animal- It's possible this drew money as a house show main event, and I know it kind of led to Savage-Steamboat at WMIII, but my God I hate this pairing. At least when WCW had the same match on every Clash for a year it was the Southern Boys (Young Pistols) vs. the Freebirds. It was better than it sounds. Steamboat's in George's corner, natch. Savage tells dream he's the true I-C champion. What a waste of prime Savage to have him face Steele over and over. Herc and Steamboat get into it, previewing their matchup later. Savage is wearing a robe from perhaps his first few months in the company. Savage jumps George, but gets hiptossed. Savage goes out to the heel side. The faces come and throw him in. Savage whips him to the buckles. Steele bites Savage. Faces toss him back in every time. George gets tied in the ropes and elbowed, but when he falls out the faces gently toss him in. Punchy kicky, then Savage hits an axehandle. He throws Steele out, and the heels work him over. Duggan then chases them away, and chases Sheik and Volkoff through the ring. Duggan finally gets ejected. Danny Davis cheapshot Steele, then gets knocked on his keister by George. George rips open the buckle and tosses it in Savage's face, but Macho suplexes him. George goes out and Steamboat helps him in. Steamboat then immediately tosses Randy back in. A second time Savage and Hercules fight with Steamboat, and Davis whallops George with the bell in the ring. Savage then drops the elbow. -* The good news is that I think this was the blowoff, and was supposed to transition to Davis-Steele. Things degenerate into a battle royal with the night's participants, and Jake runs in with Damian, who he eventually puts on Kim Chee (the real one). 

Now it's conspiracy theory time. Heenan tells Okerlund the refs are always biased toward Hogan. He has footage showing Andre beating Hogan. It's of course the failed slam attempt where Andre falls on Hulk. He demands an investigation, now. "I know I'm the world champion," Andre says.

WWF tag team championship, Hart Foundation (c) vs. British Bulldog- Gene talks to the Harts before the match. Danny Davis tries to attack Gene for insuating he wasn't on the up and up. Matilda attacked Jimmy, and it looked like he fell on her after he was bitten. Somebody call Sarah McLaughlin! Davey starts with Bret, who works the arm. Davey reverses and lifts him, then works on the arm. Hart headlocks him on the mat. Davey leapfrogs, then does a monkey flip. Davey armbars him, does a crucifix off the ropes for two. Bret knees him in the gut, and tags the Anvil. Neidhart lifts Davey by the hair, and punches him in the gut. Anvil forearms Davey's back, and the Harts doubleteam him in the corner. Hart backbreaks Davey, then legdrops him. Davey gets whipped from pillar to post, but kicks Bret. He tags Kid, and Bret takes his sternum bump. Kid picks Bret up by the hair, and a clothesline gets two. A snap suplex gets two. The Anvil runs in, and throws Davey to Davis. Tito Santana chases Davis around the ring, and the bell rings. Santana pushes them off of Kid. The Bulldogs win the first fall by disqualification.

Second fall- Bret rams Dynamite into Anvil's boot. Anvil works him over, and they do the Demolition Decapitation, which gets two. Kid gets cut off from the tag. Anvil gets the tag and cuts off one to the Kid. Bret kicks Davey and they chase outside, while Anvil chokes and bites the Kid. Hart cheapshots Kid, then gets tapped. He charges at a tied-up Kid, but he moves. Finally the Kid tags Davey. He elbows Anvil off the ropes and dropkicks him. Lariat gets 2.5. A War and Peace suplex gets two. Anvil kicks Davey coming off of the ropes. They doubleteam, but Anvil wallops Hart. Davis gets on the apron, but Tito runs across and nails him. Davey picks up Kid and drops him on Anvil for the win. *** HOWEVER, as Jesse points out, there was a disqualification in the first fall, so there's no title change. Except, of course, when Demolition were involved two years later. And again the following year. 

Gene with Hulk. He was telling the "Andre was 800 pounds and died the next day" lies yet at this point. We only see the match-ending slam as a still photo.

WWF intercontiental championship, Hercules vs. Ricky Steamboat (c)- This is Steamboat's first title defense. I feel like I should search for more defenses, or even squash matches from Steamboat's title reign. I feel like I've only seen this one, and the loss to Honky Tonk. Savage tells "Mean" Gene he wants to be the one to take the title.  They lock up to begin, and Steamboat chops away. Herc hammers on him, but Steamboat gets a pair of dropkicks. Herc tumbles outside, and Ricky chases and chops him. Atomic drop, and Herc rolls back in. Herc rams Steamboat into the turnbuckles, and stomps away. Macho is watching and cheering for Steamboat. Herc clotheslines the Dragon, and drops an elbow for two. Steamboat starts a comeback, and uses more chops. Herc uppercuts him but gets rammed to the buckle. Steamboat hits a Shake, Rattle and Roll(!) for two. Herc then gets the full nelson, and Savage runs out and grabs Herc's ankle. Herc goes up but hits knees. Herc slams him but misses an elbow. More choppery from the Dragon, and he seemingly gets his special. That results in more chops, but Herc atomic drops him. Herc then chokes Steamboat with his chain, for the DQ. *1/2. Savage jaws at Herc and Heenan as they leave, and then he enters the ring. Dave Hebner tries to keep him away from Steamboat, but he just wants to check on his condition. Savage acts like he's leaving, then drops the elbow. Tremendous.

Gene with "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. He loves the U.S.A., and hates anyone who doesn't. I think he'd fit in just fine in Trump-merica in 2017.

Can-Am Connection vs. Sheik/Volkoff- both of these teams would have members swapped out by October, though I guess new teams were just created. As Volkoff sings Duggan runs in and whacks him with the 2x4. How not letting someone singing their national Anthem makes this the land of the free, I don't know. Jesse then says the exact same thing. Martel gets a dropkick. Tom Zenk leapfrogs Sheik and they double hiptoss him. Sheik bicks him coming off of the ropes, and rams Zenk to Volkoff's boot. A suplex gets two. Another gets two. Why is Sheik in yellow trunks, instead of his long blue tights? Nikolai also is wearing his striped trunks again. If not for Duggan and the Can-Ams being there, I'd think this match was taped two years earlier. Sheik gets an abdominal stretch, but Zenk breaks it. Sheik gets a running clothesline, and tosses  Zenk out. They throw Martel out too, and work Zenk over in front of Duggan. Hacksaw meanaces Sheik with the 2x4, and with Duggan in the ring Martel rolls up Sheik for the pin. Not sure about that one. * Slick and his team then work Duggan over. The faces then clear the ring. 

I liked the tag title match (and I've seen it many times over the years), but I didn't like most of the rest. At the time, the Hogan-Andre stuff was interesting because the thought of a rematch was enticing. But fuck the Savage-Steamboat series.

Ted Blanchard's SNME Podcast #1

Hey kids, I decided to try doing an audio version of my show reviews! Also, get my Clash of the Champions: The Story of Sting (revised edition) ebook free right now! Click the link on the right side of the page.

Listen to my podcast

Saturday Night's Main Event #10- The March to < redacted >!

Hulk Hogan has no friends in the battle royal tonight. His objective is getting Andre the Giant, and he's after Andre's BIIIIIG NASTY body. Elizabeth is dressed like a Pharoah for some reason. Randy "Macho Man" Savage and George "The Animal" Steele are fighting with her as the prize. I'm not sure the legality of that one. Jake "The Snake" Roberts says Damian hasn't eaten in a month. The Hart Foundation, Andre and possibly others spoke too, but I was busy typing, sorry.

From Detroit, strangely, since Wrestlemania III was about to be at the Pontiac Silverdome.

Vince McMahon asks Jesse Ventura is Damian knows he's wearing his sister. That is a sweet jacket, actually.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to Hogan in front of columns. Do we have a Greek theme tonight? This isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it? He'll get Andre for what he did.

We are firmly into my enthusiastic fandom as a kid here. As I previously mentioned, the Hogan vs. Andre feud was my world at this time.

Last time out, Ricky Steamboat dramatically returned during the Macho Man-Animal match. George ran off with Liz, and Dragon menacingly did karate at Savage.

Savage is going to pin that hairy bozo, and hurt him real bad. Gene tells Savage Liz will enter last. 

Battle for Liz (and the WWF Intercontiental championship), Randy Savage vs. George Steele- Gene is still talking to LIz, and George comes up and says "Manager. George's? Manager." I feel like I've seen this two wrestle a million times in the last few months, since I've seen them on Mania 2 and also some house shows from the Network. What a waste of Savage's I-C title reign this feud was. LIz has a lifeguard's chair, and Savage hit Steele with an axehandle as he fawned over her. Then, as Savage tries to walk her back, Steamboat literally drops out of the sky in front of them. Savage went in and Steele jumped him. Steele rammed him to the inside buckles. Steele rams Savage to the buckles again, then rip it open. Savage hits a flying knee in the corner, and slams Steele. He hits an axehandle, then does a boot choke. When Savage tries a clothesline, Steele bites his arm like Jake's cobra. He then lifts him by his throat, and rips another buckle open. Geroge goes out by Liz, but Savage rams him into the barrier. He also hits him with the lifeguard chair, and Savage rolls in to win. *1/2. That was an even cleaner finish than I expected. Steele throws Savage over the top, and puts the I-C belt on his shoulder, and unrolls a Liz poster.

Hogan does an inset promo, and mutters his opponents' names. Every other one is Andre.

Battle royal: Paul Orndorff gets an entrance. Next is Billy Jerk Haynes, then Hercules. Gene is with Heenan and Andre. Bobby wants to see Andre throw Hogan over the top to the floor. "Hogan; I want you." Demoliton is entering as we return, then the Honky Tonk Man. Next we see the Killer Bees. Andre then makes his entrance. I would have to think this was his only in-ring appearance between the heel turn and WMIII. Kind of funny to see Andre and Ax standing in the corner together, with their past and future with each other. Hulky comes in last, natch. Hogan shows him the belt, and Andre waves bring it on. Andre and Hogan moved towards each other, but Orndorff ran and attacked Hulk. Butch Reed, Hercules and Honky Tonk then join in, but Hogan eliminates Honky. Andre tosses Sika. Ron "Jack" Bass fights with Blackjack Mulligan, who then joins Hillbilly Jim against Andre. Andre throws future partner Haku out. He headbutts Lanny Poffo (which busts him open), and tosses him. Reed and Smash try to dump Hulk and Bass takes a cheap shot. Poffo gets stretchered out. Hulk dumps the Jack Ass, and Demolition works on Hillbilly. Andre tosses Mulligan, his other Machine partner. Hogan dumps Nikolai Volkoff. Andre tosses B. Brian Blair, and boot chokes Koko B. Ware. Andre rams Billbilly and Haynes' heads together. Hulk gets whipped into Andre and they slug away. First Koko and then the heels separate them. Hogan tosses Orndorff, but Andre grabs him by his hair, and throws him over the top. Andre and Hogan continue gesturing at each other, and Brunzell jumps on him and gets eliminiated. Then all of the faces jump on Andre, and with the heels assisting he gets eliminated. Herc throws out Tama. Smash throws out Hillbilly. Smash, Reed, Ware, Haynes and Herc are left. Koko dropkicks Reed out. Maybe that's why they met at Mania III. Herc throws out Ware. He and Smash double clothesline Haynes. BJH knocks out Smash in convulted fashion. Heenandistracts Haynes, and Herc dumps him to win. ** I do rate battle royals, and this one was effective. It mostly existed to hype Andre-Hogan, though WMIII was never actually mentioned. Some of the rest of the eliminations seemed very random like this wasn't going to be canon, though. 

Gene is with Andre. "It took one giant to get Hogan out of the ring," he said. Heenan arrives and says Hogan hid from Andre before that. 

Gene then talks to Roberts. He and Damian have timed Damian's cycle for when he's really hungry, and they're going to satisfy their hunger. 

King Kong Bundy vs. Jake Roberts- Jake grabs an armbar but gets clobbered by Bundy. Bundy misses a blow and stops when he sees Damian. Jake grabs the top rope to stop a clothesline. Bundy works the arm but Jake kicks to get it released. Test of strength, as I'm getting drowsy. This will soon look like my notes from lectures in collegggggggggggggg. Bundy hammers away in the corner, and grabs a headlock. Jake kneelifts out and Heenan runs away with Damian. Bundy takes over and chokes with his shin. A clothesline drops Jake, and he hits a shoulderblock, and another. Then Bundy misses a charge and hits the buckles. Jake punches away and a clothesline drops the big man. Jake grabs the bag, and shoves the ref away. Bundy slams him but misses an elbow. Jake DDTs the big man. Heenan pulls Bundy out before Jake puts Damian on him. Jake then chases the ref out with the snake.

We see footage of the Hart Foundation winning the tag team titles from the British Bulldogs. That one surprised me as a kid. Jimmy Hart tells Gene Danny Davis will be an observer at ringside. 

WWF tag team championship, Hart Foundation (c) vs. Tito Santana/Danny Spivey- Spivey gets two off of a crossbody to begin. Neidhart clotheslines him on a second attempt, but Spivey whips him into Hart. Spivey whips Bret into a shot from Tito, and the faces hit a back elbow. Santana grabs a headlock on Hart, and slams him. Spivey comes in with a shoulderblock, and Anvil breaks up the pin. The Harts doubleteam Spivey in the corner, and Anvil drops his throat on the top. Bret punches and headbuts Spivey, and gives him a backreaker. Bret slinngshots Anvil in for two. Neidhart rams Spivey's head into the top buckle. The doubleteam more in the corner, and Santana distracts the ref while the Harts work over his partner. Bret drops an elbow from the middle rope for two. Bret grabs a front facelook.  Spivey tags Santana, but the ref was with Anvil.  Hart hits Anvil with a flying knee by mistake, and Santana finally gets tagged. He fires away on Hart, and Bret takes his beloved sternum-first bump to the buckles. Tito hits Anvil with the flying forearm, and punches Davis off of the apron. Tito hits Bret with the the forearm, then signals for the figure four. He locks it in, but Davis sneaks around with Hart's megaphone, and whacks Tito with it while the ref is occupied with the Anvil and Spivey. Bret gets the pin, **. I can't get used to Davis in trunks instead of tights. 

Gene talks to Steamboat. Steamboat tells him he's 100 percent. His throat is apparently the weak point of his body, much like with the Death Star.

Ricky Steamboat vs. The Iron Sheik- Macho Man is on the apron after a break, and then hops through the crowd. Savage goes up to the risers the announcers are on.  Sheik whips the Dragon, who skins the cat back in and suplexes the Sheik. The Dragon chops him down, and Sheik starts bowing to him. Steamboat shoulderblocks him down, then gets a hiptoss on Sheiky-Baby. He gets a front-facelook, and they roll outside. Sheik rams his head into the steps as Macho says he'd go off the top rope in that situation. Sheik suplexes Ricky back in, for two. Macho would've hooked the leg there. Sheik locks on an abdominal stretch, but Steamboat hiptosses out. Dragon slams him and heads up for a chop, which gets the win. *3/4. Macho throws his headset down, but the ref holds Dragon back.

Gene is with a despondent Hulk Hogan. "You don't become champion of the world by stabbing people in the back." The next time they lock up, Hulk's gonna steal all the power he can. He basically says to be the man, you have to beat the man. 

Gene talks to Piper about his "retirement" (though Mania III isn't mentioned). And of course the tribute video doesn't include "My Way" (the Frank Sinatra version, not the Limp Bizkit one from Mania X-7). 

This is an historic show, but it's very odd how they never mention Wrestlemania III. I'm sure there's a reason, probably solely an NBC ruling. Still, the events from this show were in all the video package for the main matches on that show, and we got the first in-ring confrontation of Hogan and Andre of the modern era. And, sniff, we saw Roddy Piper for the last time ever on SNME. 

Saturday Night's Main Event #9- Caged Chaos!

From Hartford, Connecticut

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Paul Orndorff open the promo-o-rama. Orndorff says Hulkamania dies tonight. Hulk Hogan uses judge and jury imagery again in his promo, blah blah. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis is back, looking for revenge on "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. George "The Animal" Steele promises "surprise." King Harley Race is going to teach the Junkyard Dog to bow in servitude. The JYD only bows to the Lord above.

So this is finally it- the first episode I ever saw of SNME. If I recall, we bought a VCR the same day, though I might be remembering that wrong. I do think we got the VCR to record my appearance on an ad for a local telethon. I would also like to apologize for the tardiness of this review; I bought the WWE Unreleased: 1985-1995 set, and never-released historical curiousities trump shows I've seen several times in my lifetime. I recommend the set wholeheartedly, and also suggest that if you're going to buy it, do it from Amazon and click on the ad on the side of this page featuring my Clash book (with Sting on the cover).

"Mean" Gene Okerlund asks Heenan if he's taken out championship belt insurance. Is that because of that  pretentious "The Hartford" insurer that has stupid ads running during baseball these days?

WWF championship steel cage match, Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Danny Davis and Joey Marella are both serving as refs. Alarms should be going off in your head if you don't know where this is headed. Hulk tells Gene it's been a long road, and the cage is a dead end for Mr. Wonderful. Hulk climbs in to start, and Orndorff attacks him. Paul whips him with the belt, and stomps away. Boogie-Woogie elbows lead to him going for the door. Orndorff clotheslines him back down to the mat, and gets to the other side of the cage before Hogan grabs his chair and chokes him on the top. Hulk rams his head into the cage while Orndorff hangs upside-down, then chokes him with his headband. Hogan quickly tries to escape, but Orndorff pulls him down to the top buckle. He chokes Hulk with his ankle, and heads to the door. Hulk stops him, and punches him to the mat. Orndorff grabs Hulk's legs to prevent escape. Orndorff drops elbows and headbutts Hulk, JYD-style. He then rams Hulk's head to the mat. Both get their heads rammed to the cage, and fall to the mat. The two men simultaneously climb out and drop to the floor. Marella raises Hulk's arm, and crooked ref Davis raises Orndorff's. Davis shoves Marella to the mat. While Hogan threatens Marella, Orndorff knees him into the ring barrier. This match must continue...

When we return Orndorff is working Hogan over outside the cage. Paul goes to the top to drop an elbow on a prone Hulkster. He then may or may not have been rubbing a foreign object to Hogan's face and throat. Davis gets carried out by other refs. Orndorff clotheslines Hogan, and drops an elbow, but it's Hulk Up time. Hulk punches and chops Paul, and rams him face-first into the cage. Hulk kicks at Heenan, and rams him again. And again and aGAIN. Backbreaker and legdrop, and Hulk goes up. Heenan then opens the door and grabs Hulk's leg, but gets kicked off. Hulk punches and atomic drops Paul, rams Heenan into the cage, and climbs on out. *** for the drama. This shit was serious when I was a kid. Hulk beats Heenan up some more to celebrate. We then see side-by-side footage of the two men jumping to the floor at the same time. Jesse points out Hogan's legs are bent, and Paul's are straight, so therefore Orndorff reached first.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage and Elizabeth talk to Gene. Savage tells her "I'm the champion, and nobody cares about you."

Randy Savage vs. George "The Animal" Steele- George came out with his LJN figure, which he gives to Liz.  Macho impressively bounced it on the mat, then Steele lifted him by his throat. He rams Savage to the buckles, then slams him, twice. Steele then waves towards the locker room, and Savage throws him down. Savage slams Steele, and goes to the top. Then Ricky Steamboat's music hits and he appears, and Steele slams Savage off the top. Steele throws Savage over the top rope, and George grabs Liz and leaves. Steamboat makes karate gestures at Savage, who of course crushed his larynx with the ring bell. Steele returns, and rips the buckle open. He rubs the stuff in Savage's face and throws it on the ref, then slams Savage. Savage puts on the breaks and sends Steele into the buckles. Macho punches and kicks the Animal, until Steele returns favor, and also bites Savage. Steele gets caught in the ropes, but when he gets out bites Savage's arm. Steele gets knocked out, and then hits Savage with a rolled-up foreign object. Steele then shoves down the ref, and Savage waffles him in the back of the head with the ring bell for the win. * for the match, but the angle was important. Steamboat then returns to prevent Savage from doing to Steele what happened to him. Steamboat rubs Animal's head and pours the buckle stuff on it to calm him down. * for the match, but the angle was important.

Gene talks to Heenan and Race. "I am the king of wrestling...everyone will bow to me in servitude," Race says. Heenan says JYD will be bow-wowing to Race tonight.

Harley Race vs. JYD- McMahon makes a throne joke about Race, natch. JYD says he only bows to the good lord above. Then Gene also makes a throne joke. Class-y. JYD presents his ample posterior to Race, which is probably not the bowing he meant. As Danny Davis talks with JYD, Race punches him and gets two. A flying knee followed by a kneedrop gets two. JYD fires back and whips Race into the post. Race headbutts Race down, but Race gets a belly-to-belly. He drops a headbutt, but it hurts Race more than JYD. Dog then crawls around headbutting Race, and the King does a Flair flop out of the ring. Dog then puts on the robe and crown, which I've seen a million times in the video package on Wrestlemania III. Heenan then attacks JYD from behind, and does an awesome flip sell of a punch. Race then its the Dog with an elbow from the top. Finally the bell rings, and Davis comically raises JYD's arm as he's unconscious on the mat. Heenan and Race try to make Dog bow, but he Dogs Up and chases them away. Davis then grabs the Dog by the waist, but gets headbutted. That was uncalled for. I'll give the match a star, but it was crap. 

Heenan tells Orndorff you are the world champion in the locker room. He's gonna go to WWF president Jack Tunney, and in less than a month the belt will be around Orndorff's waist. I don't think there was really any follow-up on this; by the next SNME it was all Hogan vs. Andre. Perhaps if the rumors of Orndorff on standby to replace Andre are true, this was their way to keep the feud alive.

Gene talks to Adonis and Jimmy Hart. Adrian is apparently leaner and meaner, and back from being injured by Piper.

Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper- Adonis also just comes out in his trunks, not wearing a dress and scarves. Piper tells Adonis (and Gene) he's fighting for pride. Piper throws his kilt at Adonis, and hiptosses him twice, and kneelifts him over the top rope. Adonis does a Flair Flip on the top, and Piper bites him. Piper throws him across the ring by his arm, then snaps it on the top rope. Adonis fires back, and scratches his back. Piper punches away, and slams his face on the mat. Adonis locks on goodnight Irene, but they fall to the floor. Piper punches Jimmy, but Adonis hits him with his atomizer, and sprays Piper in the eyes. Think Martel and Jake. Piper gets counted out by Joey Marella, *3/4. That seems more like a Danny Davis call. Piper then hiptosses Marella. McMahon says Piper probably thought Marella was Adonis. Riiiight.

Gene talks to Hogan. Hulk is getting off on this victory. Eww. He suggests if you run the video of the finish backwards like an old cartoon, then maybe Orndorff won. 

Blackjack Mulligan vs. Jimmy Jack Funk- This is the Battle for Texas, with a similiar graphic to This Tuesday in Texas. JJ is pointing out Mulligan's spurs to the lady ref. Mulligan removes them, and JJ attacks him. BJ reverses a whip, and clotheslines JJ out. He backdrops JJ on the floor. Mulligan presses JJ over his head, drops him, and lariats JJ. A flying back elbow finishes. *. Mulligan then tries to hang JJ. I don't understand why the WWF brought in BJ right after his SON left the Federation. 

THIS has to be the credit sequence that originally had "Take Me Home" by Phil Collins. If I get a chance I'll check my copy of the original.

Saturday Night's Main Event #8- Hung and Bung

Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Damian discuss strategy for his match with "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Savage tells Elizabeth if he loses it's her fault for not correctly polishing his belt. Koko B. Ware will make his SNME debut here. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper will crush some worms later. The Hart Foundation does individual promos, and are then together. They'll give the Killer Bees a Hart attack. Hulk Hogan accepts Hercules' challenge.

From Los Angeles Sports Arena, future site of Wrestlemania VII (damn terrorists).

"Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to Jake. He sneaks up on Gene and puts Damian on his neck.

WWF intercontiental championship, Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage (c)- Macho tells Gene he isn't afraid of snakes. He is in fact going to skin Damian. Jake tries to intimidate Liz with the snake before the match, then gets Macho to hide behind her. It's just so funny to think of what was to come with these three later. Both hit the ropes and threaten a punch to being. Macho pulls hair on an armwringer, and snake does the same. Jake does an armdrag takedown, and Macho freaks out when he gets near Damian. Jake grabs a headlock and gets a takeover, but Savage pulls his hair. Macho misses an elbow, and Jake almost gets a DDT but he slips out. Jakes chases him outside, and kicks his midsection back in to almost get the DDT. Savage fires away in the corner, and Jake eats boot on a charge. Savage gets two there. He rams Jake's face to the canvas for two, then kicks him in the head for another. Knee to the face for another two-count. Jake fires away, but Macho knees him in the back of the head. Savage chokes him on the top rope. When he tries a pin Jake gets his foot on the rope. More near, near-fallin'. He ties Jake in the ropes a la Andre, and Jake leaps to the floor and grabs Damian. He pushes the bag under the ring as they head to break. Jake gets free, and kneelifts Savage as he comes back in. Jake grabs Damian,and then gets the short-arm clothesline for a rope-assisted two. Jake gets a One Man Gang-style suplex for two (foot again on the rope). Jake punches away and drops Savage. Macho kicks him coming off of the ropes, but when Jake tries a DDT Savage gets into the ropes, then goes out. Savage holds Liz in front of him outside, and when Jake goes for Damian Macho knees him into the post. He then drops the axehandle from the top. He gets another axehandle inside for two, but gets punched when he tries another. A knee knocks Jake out, and he pulls out Savage, back in Savage throws Dave Hebner when he tries to break up the fight, then Jake does the same. Savage grabs a chair and Jake gets Damian, and he chases Savage away with the Snake. ***1/2. It was officially a double-disqualification.

We saw "The Selling of Hercules" with Slick and Heenan. So Slick managed him two different times?

Gene talks to Herc and Heenan (I'd say Herc and Jerk, but I think Gorilla dubbed Power and Glory that). I never knew why Herc's complexion was always so pink. Herc repeats "I am the champion," which Gene says just because you say it....

We see Hulk's boobies bouncing for a disturbing five seconds. Hulk said it could have been the real Hercules. Ha, Hulk says he "hung and bung" on the Titanic! Another short-lived tag team referenced there (albeit by an unofficial name, TM Diddly...).  Hulk tells Herc where the power lies.

WWF championship, Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Hercules- Herc offers a test of strength, and overpowers Hulk. What's with the blue kneepads? I thought Hogan's wardrobe was set by this point. Hulk then reverses, but Herc headbutts his chest. Herc runs him into the corner.Hulk reverses a whip and gets a clothesline. Hulk drops him with a high knee, and then chases Heenan off the apron, to the floor, into the ring, and boots Herc but misses an elbowdrop. Heenan's vault over the top was amazing. Herc whips Hogan back-first to the corner, then drops on his back. Herc grabs a bearhug, then gets a backbreaker and bends Hulk over his knee. Herc celebrates for awhile, then gets Hulk in a tortune rack. Jesse claims Hogan submitted, and Herc drops him. He argues with Hebner, who heard nothing. Herc covers without hooking, and Hulk kicks out and Hulks Up. He rams Herc into the corners back and forth, chops him down, then hits the big boot and legdrop. *1/2. The wrestling wasn't any good, but there was a little drama with the supposed submission. 

Jesse talks to Jimmy Hart and "Cowboy" Bob Orton at a restaurant. Orton said Piper used him. He did the dirty work, and Piper got the glory. But tonight, Piper has no friends.

Bob Orton vs. Roddy Piper- We see a special music video about Orton and Piper's friendship. I think it was originally set to "You're a Friend of Mine." Piper talks to Gene with either a bottle of water dumped on his head or sweating like a cokehead. Maybe a little of both. He was rowdy before rowdy was cool. "Magnificent" Muraco is also in Orton's corner. Piper waves Muraco in and Piper swings at him. The ref then throws Muraco out, even though he  hasn't really done anything. Piper fires away at Orton, and bulldogs him. Piper bites his forehead. He whips Orton in the corner, where Orton takes the buckles back-first. Piper fires away on him and gets a two-count. Orton punches him coming off of the ropes, and then kicks him in the lower abdomen. Orton gives him a gutbuster and then drops an elbow for two. Orton misses an elbowdrop, Piper knocks him into Hart, and Piper gets the pin. * I don't think I knew Hart managed Orton during this period. The Muraco/Orton team was managed by Fuji, at least as of Mania III.

Piper tells Gene the work has just begun. "When I'm good I'm good; when I'm bad I'm much better."

Gene talks to the Hart Foundation, and tells them a win would get them closer to the tag team championship. "We are the world," Bret says. Anvil adds "we are the champions."

Killer Bees vs. Hart Foundation- Hart starts with Jim Brunzell. He hits Bret with an impressive flying knee. B. Brain Blair jumps off the top onto Bret's arm. They show an inset promo with the bees masked, though I can clearly tell them apart. Anvil comes in and gets double-teamed. Bret knees Brunzell in the back to turn the tide. They hit the Demolition Decapitation but the ref was arguing with Neidhart and they only got two. Anvil dropkicks Jumpin' Jim in the face. Tag to Bret, and he pounds away. They doubleteam in the corner and Anvil drops him on the top rope. Bret cuts off a tag, and starts the alleged Five Moves of Doom. Bret launches Jim to the floor impressively. Jim gets a shoulderblock and a sunset flip for two, and dropkicks Who. Anvil gets the tag, as do the Bees, but the ref misses it. The Bees put their masks on, and Blair goes in. He takes on both Harts, and the other Bee cheapshots Bret and he falls to the floor. Bee 1 puts Anvil in a sleeper, but Bret jumps off the top to break it up. The Bees switch again, Anvil tags Bret, and he gets small-packaged for three. **3/4.

Gene interviews Frankie the Bird about what he's going to do when he goes to Chernobyl and Leningrad. Koko B. Ware was also there.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Koko B. Ware- Why is Slick's arm in a sling? Jesse talked to them earlier, and his arm was fine! Nikolai is also fine with his honest new manager. This version has Koko coming out to "Piledriver," Nikolai attacks to start. he misses a charge, Koko leapfrogs him, peppers him with rights, and gets on his shoulders for some sort of monkey flip. Two dropkicks get two. Nikolai hits a spinning back kick, and drops the Birdman on the top rope. He slams Koko but misses a kneedrop. Koko goes up to the top for a dropkick, which gets two. Nikolai press slams him into a gutbuster, but picks Koko up. Nikolai goes to Slick for advice, and Koko rolls him up for three. *1/4.

Hulk tells Gene Ventura misinterpreted weaknesses in Hogan. They had equal strength, but Hulk had the Hulkamaniacs. Hulk won't be here forever, but Hulkamania is forever.

Gene interviews Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji  about Don's match with "The Rebel" Dick Slater tonight. Fuji sings "Dixieland" in a famous clip.

Magnificent Muraco vs. Dick Slater- Muraco is assaulting Slater as we return from break. And here's another random ref I don't recognize from WWF TV. What is with them using scabs for the SNME shows? This is network TV! Slater drops the Rock with a right hand, then a back elbow and rake of the eyes with his boot. Slater hits an elbow to Don's head off the ropes to breat up a pin attempt. Fuji puts Muraco's foot on the rope and then trips the Rebel. Muraco then hits him and puts his own feet on the ropes for leverage. *

Check out Jake vs. Savage, at least as an historical curiosity.

Saturday Night's Main Event #7: I'm Roddy Piper, and you're not

I can't take credit for this awesome artwork.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura intros the new season of the show. We then see Jake "The Snake" Roberts in a shower with Damian, which I vaguely remember him discussing on his DVD set. I can't remember if it was his idea or Dick Ebersol's. Johnny V says the British Bulldogs are full of British Bull___. Edgy. Kevin Sullivan's father also yells about Kamala, and Heenan and Paul Orndorff do a promo in front of three mirrors. And Hogan does his usual.

From the Richfield Coliseum in Cleveland. 

"Mean" Gene Okerlund with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. And they show the Flower Shop incident, which is one of three events that cemented my fandom. One of the other two will surely be shown later in this episode. Piper is supposedly too injured to wrestle because of his knee injury. He says if he wants to wrestle, he's gonna wrestle. My God, I thought that shit was deadly serious, especially when Pipes destroyed the Flower Shop.

And here's the second one- Paul Orndorff attacking Hogan during a tag team match with King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd. Orndorff's side of the story is Hogan stopped returning his calls. 

Meanwhile, the Hulkster gets Biblical on Orndorff's backside. Gene gets a rebut from Heenan and Orndorff on "that Albino ape." They reveal Orndorff will be using "Real American." I had forgotten about that bit.

WWF championship, Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Hulk picks Gene up and moves him out of his way on the way to the ring. McMahon thinks Hogan looks like a boxcar coming down to the ring. Hogan misses a charge and Paula fires away. Hogan retaliates and drops him with a punch. Hogan chases Heenan off the apron, and Orndorff clotheslines him over and out. Hogan rams him into the apron. Back in, Hulk chops away and Orndorff is wobbly-legged. Headbutt, and a corner clothesline. Hogan knocks Heenan down again, and Orndorff punches Hulk in the throat. Boogie-woogie elbow is followed by kneedrops. Hogan fell on the timekeeper, and Orndorff chokes him with a cord. Orndorff won't let him back into the ring. Orndorff chokes Hogan with his knee, and an uppercut to the throat gets two. Orndorff bites his nose and a suplex gets two. Hogan reverses a whip and hits a big knee. Hogan slams him, but Heenan grabs his ankle. Hogan drops down to avoid Orndorff's charge, and he topples out. Police then escort Heenan out. When we return, Heenan is locked up in the back. Orndorff has the advantage inside, and does the same offense as before. Orndorff gets a backbreaker, and an elbow gets two. A big clothesline, and Orndorff signals for a piledriver. Hogan backdrops him out. He Hulks Up on Orndorff, and punches away. Big elbow and Hogan clotheslines him. Hogan sets up for a piledriver, and gets attacked by Adrian Adonis. Piper hobbles down on a crutch. He whallops Adonis out of the ring with it, and swings and misses Hogan. Hogan almost hits Piper, but they hit a stalemate. **3/4

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat- Gene talked to Jake in the shower with Damian earlier. Jake tells Gene he should go back to selling encyclopedias, which Gene denies. Earlier Steamboat showed the cameras his dragon. Moving on, Jake works the arm to begin, but Dragon chops out of it, and backdrops Jake by the wrist for two. Armdrag takedown by the Dragon, as Jake tries to get his bag. Steamboat kind of backdrops Jake, onto his ribs instead of a full flip. Outside and in, and Ricky's armdraggin'. Jake misses on a charge, and gets slingshot into the buckles. Dragon hits him then goes up, but hits knees. Both men crawl to their bags, but Jake cuts the Dragon off. Roberts drops the Dragon on his ribs for two. A flying shot to the ribs drops Steamboat. A short-arm clothesline gets two. Jake gets a scoop slam and works on Ricky's ribs. Steamboat chops away but gets kneelifted. A snapmare gets two for Jake. Ricky rams his head to the mat, but gets atomic dropped. Ricky gets a crucifix for the 1-2-3. **1/2. Jake knocks him out of the ring and rams his back into the post. Roberts pulls out Damian, then Steamboat brings out a "dragon" (gila monster, maybe?). Roberts then bails.

Gene talks to Hogan. Hulk was turned on by the 20,000 Hulkamaniac's butts...in the juror's box. He warned Piper not to come into his courtroom, even though he took care of Adonis. Heenan is guilty by association. He says it wasn't a hung jury (and not in the way the Rock used it). Hogan said the verdict is guilty as charged.

The Iron Sheik vs. Pedro Morales- We see Jesse interview Slick and Sheik when they arrived by limo earlier. Piper then comes down via crutch. Originally it was scheduled as Piper vs. the Sheik. Piper ordered Morales out, then whalloped Sheik with the crutch. He pounded on Sheik, but when he threatened Slick Sheik attacked and choked Roddy with his shirt. Roddy gets a small package off of a suplex attempt for the win. *1/2 for the match, but the segment deserves more. Piper is squarely a face at this point.

Johnny V says he knows Mean Gene was in on his men getting robbed of their belts at Wrestlemania 2, as we see a clip. 

Gene talks to Piper, who dumps a cola on his head. He does what he wants. Great promo; I couldn't do justice recapping it. He closes by saying "I'm Roddy Piper; you're not."

WWF tag team championship, 2 out of 3 falls: The Dream Team vs. The British Bulldogs (c)- Dynamite atomic dropped Valentine to begin, and Davey cheapshot him. Jesse was unaware of the 2 out of 3 falls rule here. Slugfest, and Valentine works Dynamite's knee in the corner. Beefcake suplexes the Kid next, and works that knee. Davey gets tagged, and they exchange arm wringers. Beefcake drops him, then holds him for an elbow to the head by Valentine for two. Doubleteams on Davey. Valentine misses an elbow and Davey tags Dynamite. A chops drops him like a tree, but Valentine hits an atomic drop. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker for two. A clothesline gets two, then Brutus comes in and drops elbows for two. Valentine headbutts Kid to the junk, but gets forearmed. Dynamite headbutts him, but Valentine hits the knee and locks on the figure four. Beefcake drops Davey and Kid submits.

Round 2: Gene tells us Adonis may have a shoulder separation from the crutch shot. Valentine is still working the knee, though Kid pushes him off when he attempts a figure four. Brutus in, and he stomps the knee and cheapshots Davey. The Dream Team wishbones the Kid. Beefer stomps away. Brutus (the future Fuckin' Barber) Beefcake does the strut he did as a face, then miiltary presses Kid. He drops him for two, then Valentine drops an elbow. A bodyslam is followed by a missed elbow, and Davey gets the tag. He headbutts Valentine and clothesline him, and dropkicks Beefcake. Headbutt Valentine, then a War and Peace suplex on Valentine for two. Davey powerslams Valentine but Beefcake runs in. Davey puts him in a fireman's carry position, then Kid springboards off Beefer's back with a flying headbutt to make it a fall apiece. 

Round 3: A limping Kid faces Valentine, who goes right for the knee. Kid fights back with headbutts and chops. He gets a snap suplex, but misses a headbutt to the mat. Valentine drops elbows for two. Kid gets the tag but the ref missed it. Beefcake goes off the top with a forearm, and Valentine gets two on the Kid. More work on the knee, but he is kicked off when he attempts the figure four. Beefer and Davey get tagged in, and Brutus backdrops Davey. A clothesline gets two. Brutus with a blatant chokehold, and a headbutt to the junk gets two. Atomic drop by Kid gets two. Brutus gets tagged and shoves Smith. He rakes Davey's eyes with his boot, and Valentine snaps his throat on the top rope. Valentine drops knees to Smiths' throat, and suplexes him for two. Beefcake gets a flying knee, but Dynamite breaks up the pin. It turns into a Pier 6er, and Beefcake misses flying knee in the corner and Davey perfect-plexes him for the win. ***1/4 That was probably better than the Mania 2 match.

Kamala vs. "Leaping" Lanny Poffo- Earlier the Wizard told Gene Kamala is from a tribe that dates back thousands of years. Gene welcomed Kamala back. Kamala misses a chop and Lanny backflips. Kamala throws Lanny and he kips up. Kamala then jumps in the air in response. He kickes Lanny, and chops him coming off the ropes. Kamala rams his head to the buckles, and picks Poffo up by the neck. Lanny fires back, but Kamala rakes his eyes and gives him a double shot the throat. Body slam, splash, and that's it. 3/4* Kamala goes to the top, but Kim Chee talks him down.

I wonder if this is the episode that originally ended with Phil Collins' "Take Me Home" playing over the credits. Here it's "Real American" (which is of course Paul Orndorff's theme).

I'm encouraged that the wrestling is getting better on these shows, plus we're into the era when I started watching, so I will hopefully start enjoying these shows more.

Saturday Night's Main Event #6

From Providence, Rhode Island

Hulk Hogan and the Junkyard Dog will apparently have the Haiti Kid with them. And, oh God, I saw Uncle Elmer in the show's intro. Please don't be so.

We see the Funk's beating JYD/Tito Santana at Wrestlemania 2 by use of the megaphone. They responded to Haiti Kid by bringing along Jimmy Jack Funk.

The Funk Brothers vs. Hulk/JYD- I like how the name "Dory" just wasn't distinct/southern enough for noted hillbilly enthusiast/idiot Vince McMahon, but Terry was apparently just fine. JYD slams Terry and Hoss to start, and Hulk (with Dog's chain around his neck) headbutts the Funks a la JYD. Hoss fails to slam Dog, and JYD responds with a slam. Terry  in, and misses a charge in the corner and rolls outside. Funk runs and grabs Haiti Kid, but he goes under the ring. JYD clotheslines Terry inside. Now we got Hulk vs. Hoss, as Hogan continues to run through the former NWA world champions. The Funks do-si-do on a crisscross, and Hogan gives Terry a big boot and clotheslines Hoss. He slams Hoss and drops an elbow for two. JYD clotheslines Hoss as Heenan calls him an illiterate. Terry and Hoss work JYD over in the corner, and the ref keeps Hogan out. JYD eventually gets the advantage of a slugfest with Terry, and evades a Hoss charge. Hogan in and he throws Terry out. Hart waffles Haiti Kid with the branding iron, and Hulk runs after Hart. Terry kicks Haiti in the head, then JYD carries him to the back as we head to break. Hulk slams Hoss and knocks Terry onto the announce table. Dog is back as Hoss throws forearms in the corner. Hulk suplexes him for two. JYD headbutts Hoss, and when Hogan goes outside Funk hits him with the iron. He rams Hulk into the railing, and JYD slams Funk and then Hulk baaaaaack bodydrops Terry on the floor. Hulk goes back in and Haiti Kid is now back. Hoss punches Dog in the esophagus. Hoss uppercuts him, then tags his brother. A doubleclothesline puts them both down. Terry misses a headbutt from the top. Hogan clotheslines both, legdrops Terry and gets the 1-2-3. *** The Funks hold Haiti so Hart can hit him. Hulk drags Hart and kid out before he can be branded, then Hulk holds Jimmy so the Kid can clap him. Hulk scares the heels off with the bell, and then he and JYD celebrate. 

King Kong Bundy vs. Uncle Elmer- I'm so fucking excited (sarcasm). Bundy weighed 468 at the official weigh-in earlier. Elmer had a bucket of fried pig parts and he stepped on the scales. 430. Vince yee-has as Elmer enters. Sigh. Heenan stays on commentary. Bundy shoulderblocks Elmer but can't drop him. He finally drops, and Bundy chokes him. Heenan  says he looks like  "the Heindenberg in Denim." He slams his giant ass into Bundy to break free, and splashes him in the corner. Elmer misses another one, and Bundy pins him with an elbow. 3/4* 

Adrian Adonis discusses how hot his opponent Paul Orndorff is. Then we see Orndorff and Okerlund in a sauna together in a pretape. I'lI leave the jokes here to Scott Keith in his review.

Paul Orndorff vs. Adrian Adonis- Armdrag by Orndorff and slams to start. I think a young Tim White is the ref here. Orndorff drags Adonis in, and he does a Flair Flip right back out. McMahon is as sensitive as you'd expect about Adonis wearing a dress in the ring, while Heenan takes the sensible "that is his preference" side. Orndorff locks on an abdonimal stretch. It's all even more ridiculous that Vince supposedly came up with this gimmick for Adonis after he gained weight. Adonis briefly takes advantage but gets sent out of the ring. Orndorff pulls Jimmy Hart in, and tosses him onto Adonis. Orndorff airplane spins Adonis, who pulls him to the floor. Orndorff posts him, then chases Hart in to the ring. Adonis waffles him with the megaphone. Adonis has his heat segment, but Orndorff moves before a kneedrop. Adonis slams him and gets a vertical suplex. Adonis flips over in the ropes to get tied up, and dropkicks Adonis. Orndorff then strips Adonis and chokes him with his dress. Orndorff, seemingly enraged with homophobia,  throws the ref down for the DQ. DUD I didn't like this it all, and was embarrassed this ran even in 1986. I'm desperately waiting for these shows to improve. 

We go to Gene and Hulk sitting in the empty arena before the show. First they show King Kong Bundy beating up Hulk in Phoenix on the last SNME. We then see footage of Hogan vs.Bundy at WM2. Hulk has his hit list, and he's going to take out Bundy, Muraco and Fuji one by one.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat- doesn't happen. Jake jumps him right away, DDTs him on the floor, and drapes Damian on him. This garnered mucho heat and I think they had a blowoff at The Big Event.

WWF tag team title 2 out of 3 falls, British Bulldogs (c) vs. Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Sheik- McMahon also doesn't like foreigners singing their national anthems in 'Merica, of course. Davey evades Nikolai and gets two. Davey gets dropped onto the top rope. The Sheik German suplexes him and then the Camel Clutch gets a quick submission for Fall #1.

Fall 2- Sheik gives Davey a baaaaack bodydrop. Bet he couldn't have done that in '91 to Davey. Clothesline leads to an abdominal stretch on the Bulldog. He gets out but misses an elbowdrop. Volkoff clotheslines him and stomps on his tummy. Davey gets a sunset flip but Sheik is distracting the ref. Volkoff rams Davey into the Sheik's boot. Tilt-a-whirl suplex gets two. Davey atomic drops Sheik for two. Nikolai almost gator-rolls Davey for two. Davey hits a back elbow but can't get the tag. Blassie sets Davey on the bottom rope and Sheik jumps on him. Bodyslam by Volkoff gets two. Davey runs him into Sheik for the pin. 

Fall 3- Kid has a torn ligament in his left knee, Vince says. The heels doubleteam Davey. Sheik gets a Boston Crab but Davey makes the ropes. Davey powerslams Sheik but Volkoff breaks up the pin. Davey tags Dynamite, and Sheik puts him in a bearhug. Volkoff then does the same. Another tilt-a-whirl and then the Camel Clutch. As the ref argues with Volkoff, Davey breaks up the clutch and rolls up Sheik himself. It was illegal, and in no way should count, but that was something. **1/2.