Ted Blanchard's SNME Podcast #1

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Saturday Night's Main Event #10- The March to < redacted >!

Hulk Hogan has no friends in the battle royal tonight. His objective is getting Andre the Giant, and he's after Andre's BIIIIIG NASTY body. Elizabeth is dressed like a Pharoah for some reason. Randy "Macho Man" Savage and George "The Animal" Steele are fighting with her as the prize. I'm not sure the legality of that one. Jake "The Snake" Roberts says Damian hasn't eaten in a month. The Hart Foundation, Andre and possibly others spoke too, but I was busy typing, sorry.

From Detroit, strangely, since Wrestlemania III was about to be at the Pontiac Silverdome.

Vince McMahon asks Jesse Ventura is Damian knows he's wearing his sister. That is a sweet jacket, actually.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to Hogan in front of columns. Do we have a Greek theme tonight? This isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it? He'll get Andre for what he did.

We are firmly into my enthusiastic fandom as a kid here. As I previously mentioned, the Hogan vs. Andre feud was my world at this time.

Last time out, Ricky Steamboat dramatically returned during the Macho Man-Animal match. George ran off with Liz, and Dragon menacingly did karate at Savage.

Savage is going to pin that hairy bozo, and hurt him real bad. Gene tells Savage Liz will enter last. 

Battle for Liz (and the WWF Intercontiental championship), Randy Savage vs. George Steele- Gene is still talking to LIz, and George comes up and says "Manager. George's? Manager." I feel like I've seen this two wrestle a million times in the last few months, since I've seen them on Mania 2 and also some house shows from the Network. What a waste of Savage's I-C title reign this feud was. LIz has a lifeguard's chair, and Savage hit Steele with an axehandle as he fawned over her. Then, as Savage tries to walk her back, Steamboat literally drops out of the sky in front of them. Savage went in and Steele jumped him. Steele rammed him to the inside buckles. Steele rams Savage to the buckles again, then rip it open. Savage hits a flying knee in the corner, and slams Steele. He hits an axehandle, then does a boot choke. When Savage tries a clothesline, Steele bites his arm like Jake's cobra. He then lifts him by his throat, and rips another buckle open. Geroge goes out by Liz, but Savage rams him into the barrier. He also hits him with the lifeguard chair, and Savage rolls in to win. *1/2. That was an even cleaner finish than I expected. Steele throws Savage over the top, and puts the I-C belt on his shoulder, and unrolls a Liz poster.

Hogan does an inset promo, and mutters his opponents' names. Every other one is Andre.

Battle royal: Paul Orndorff gets an entrance. Next is Billy Jerk Haynes, then Hercules. Gene is with Heenan and Andre. Bobby wants to see Andre throw Hogan over the top to the floor. "Hogan; I want you." Demoliton is entering as we return, then the Honky Tonk Man. Next we see the Killer Bees. Andre then makes his entrance. I would have to think this was his only in-ring appearance between the heel turn and WMIII. Kind of funny to see Andre and Ax standing in the corner together, with their past and future with each other. Hulky comes in last, natch. Hogan shows him the belt, and Andre waves bring it on. Andre and Hogan moved towards each other, but Orndorff ran and attacked Hulk. Butch Reed, Hercules and Honky Tonk then join in, but Hogan eliminates Honky. Andre tosses Sika. Ron "Jack" Bass fights with Blackjack Mulligan, who then joins Hillbilly Jim against Andre. Andre throws future partner Haku out. He headbutts Lanny Poffo (which busts him open), and tosses him. Reed and Smash try to dump Hulk and Bass takes a cheap shot. Poffo gets stretchered out. Hulk dumps the Jack Ass, and Demolition works on Hillbilly. Andre tosses Mulligan, his other Machine partner. Hogan dumps Nikolai Volkoff. Andre tosses B. Brian Blair, and boot chokes Koko B. Ware. Andre rams Billbilly and Haynes' heads together. Hulk gets whipped into Andre and they slug away. First Koko and then the heels separate them. Hogan tosses Orndorff, but Andre grabs him by his hair, and throws him over the top. Andre and Hogan continue gesturing at each other, and Brunzell jumps on him and gets eliminiated. Then all of the faces jump on Andre, and with the heels assisting he gets eliminated. Herc throws out Tama. Smash throws out Hillbilly. Smash, Reed, Ware, Haynes and Herc are left. Koko dropkicks Reed out. Maybe that's why they met at Mania III. Herc throws out Ware. He and Smash double clothesline Haynes. BJH knocks out Smash in convulted fashion. Heenandistracts Haynes, and Herc dumps him to win. ** I do rate battle royals, and this one was effective. It mostly existed to hype Andre-Hogan, though WMIII was never actually mentioned. Some of the rest of the eliminations seemed very random like this wasn't going to be canon, though. 

Gene is with Andre. "It took one giant to get Hogan out of the ring," he said. Heenan arrives and says Hogan hid from Andre before that. 

Gene then talks to Roberts. He and Damian have timed Damian's cycle for when he's really hungry, and they're going to satisfy their hunger. 

King Kong Bundy vs. Jake Roberts- Jake grabs an armbar but gets clobbered by Bundy. Bundy misses a blow and stops when he sees Damian. Jake grabs the top rope to stop a clothesline. Bundy works the arm but Jake kicks to get it released. Test of strength, as I'm getting drowsy. This will soon look like my notes from lectures in collegggggggggggggg. Bundy hammers away in the corner, and grabs a headlock. Jake kneelifts out and Heenan runs away with Damian. Bundy takes over and chokes with his shin. A clothesline drops Jake, and he hits a shoulderblock, and another. Then Bundy misses a charge and hits the buckles. Jake punches away and a clothesline drops the big man. Jake grabs the bag, and shoves the ref away. Bundy slams him but misses an elbow. Jake DDTs the big man. Heenan pulls Bundy out before Jake puts Damian on him. Jake then chases the ref out with the snake.

We see footage of the Hart Foundation winning the tag team titles from the British Bulldogs. That one surprised me as a kid. Jimmy Hart tells Gene Danny Davis will be an observer at ringside. 

WWF tag team championship, Hart Foundation (c) vs. Tito Santana/Danny Spivey- Spivey gets two off of a crossbody to begin. Neidhart clotheslines him on a second attempt, but Spivey whips him into Hart. Spivey whips Bret into a shot from Tito, and the faces hit a back elbow. Santana grabs a headlock on Hart, and slams him. Spivey comes in with a shoulderblock, and Anvil breaks up the pin. The Harts doubleteam Spivey in the corner, and Anvil drops his throat on the top. Bret punches and headbuts Spivey, and gives him a backreaker. Bret slinngshots Anvil in for two. Neidhart rams Spivey's head into the top buckle. The doubleteam more in the corner, and Santana distracts the ref while the Harts work over his partner. Bret drops an elbow from the middle rope for two. Bret grabs a front facelook.  Spivey tags Santana, but the ref was with Anvil.  Hart hits Anvil with a flying knee by mistake, and Santana finally gets tagged. He fires away on Hart, and Bret takes his beloved sternum-first bump to the buckles. Tito hits Anvil with the flying forearm, and punches Davis off of the apron. Tito hits Bret with the the forearm, then signals for the figure four. He locks it in, but Davis sneaks around with Hart's megaphone, and whacks Tito with it while the ref is occupied with the Anvil and Spivey. Bret gets the pin, **. I can't get used to Davis in trunks instead of tights. 

Gene talks to Steamboat. Steamboat tells him he's 100 percent. His throat is apparently the weak point of his body, much like with the Death Star.

Ricky Steamboat vs. The Iron Sheik- Macho Man is on the apron after a break, and then hops through the crowd. Savage goes up to the risers the announcers are on.  Sheik whips the Dragon, who skins the cat back in and suplexes the Sheik. The Dragon chops him down, and Sheik starts bowing to him. Steamboat shoulderblocks him down, then gets a hiptoss on Sheiky-Baby. He gets a front-facelook, and they roll outside. Sheik rams his head into the steps as Macho says he'd go off the top rope in that situation. Sheik suplexes Ricky back in, for two. Macho would've hooked the leg there. Sheik locks on an abdominal stretch, but Steamboat hiptosses out. Dragon slams him and heads up for a chop, which gets the win. *3/4. Macho throws his headset down, but the ref holds Dragon back.

Gene is with a despondent Hulk Hogan. "You don't become champion of the world by stabbing people in the back." The next time they lock up, Hulk's gonna steal all the power he can. He basically says to be the man, you have to beat the man. 

Gene talks to Piper about his "retirement" (though Mania III isn't mentioned). And of course the tribute video doesn't include "My Way" (the Frank Sinatra version, not the Limp Bizkit one from Mania X-7). 

This is an historic show, but it's very odd how they never mention Wrestlemania III. I'm sure there's a reason, probably solely an NBC ruling. Still, the events from this show were in all the video package for the main matches on that show, and we got the first in-ring confrontation of Hogan and Andre of the modern era. And, sniff, we saw Roddy Piper for the last time ever on SNME. 

Saturday Night's Main Event #9- Caged Chaos!

From Hartford, Connecticut

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Paul Orndorff open the promo-o-rama. Orndorff says Hulkamania dies tonight. Hulk Hogan uses judge and jury imagery again in his promo, blah blah. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis is back, looking for revenge on "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. George "The Animal" Steele promises "surprise." King Harley Race is going to teach the Junkyard Dog to bow in servitude. The JYD only bows to the Lord above.

So this is finally it- the first episode I ever saw of SNME. If I recall, we bought a VCR the same day, though I might be remembering that wrong. I do think we got the VCR to record my appearance on an ad for a local telethon. I would also like to apologize for the tardiness of this review; I bought the WWE Unreleased: 1985-1995 set, and never-released historical curiousities trump shows I've seen several times in my lifetime. I recommend the set wholeheartedly, and also suggest that if you're going to buy it, do it from Amazon and click on the ad on the side of this page featuring my Clash book (with Sting on the cover).

"Mean" Gene Okerlund asks Heenan if he's taken out championship belt insurance. Is that because of that  pretentious "The Hartford" insurer that has stupid ads running during baseball these days?

WWF championship steel cage match, Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Danny Davis and Joey Marella are both serving as refs. Alarms should be going off in your head if you don't know where this is headed. Hulk tells Gene it's been a long road, and the cage is a dead end for Mr. Wonderful. Hulk climbs in to start, and Orndorff attacks him. Paul whips him with the belt, and stomps away. Boogie-Woogie elbows lead to him going for the door. Orndorff clotheslines him back down to the mat, and gets to the other side of the cage before Hogan grabs his chair and chokes him on the top. Hulk rams his head into the cage while Orndorff hangs upside-down, then chokes him with his headband. Hogan quickly tries to escape, but Orndorff pulls him down to the top buckle. He chokes Hulk with his ankle, and heads to the door. Hulk stops him, and punches him to the mat. Orndorff grabs Hulk's legs to prevent escape. Orndorff drops elbows and headbutts Hulk, JYD-style. He then rams Hulk's head to the mat. Both get their heads rammed to the cage, and fall to the mat. The two men simultaneously climb out and drop to the floor. Marella raises Hulk's arm, and crooked ref Davis raises Orndorff's. Davis shoves Marella to the mat. While Hogan threatens Marella, Orndorff knees him into the ring barrier. This match must continue...

When we return Orndorff is working Hogan over outside the cage. Paul goes to the top to drop an elbow on a prone Hulkster. He then may or may not have been rubbing a foreign object to Hogan's face and throat. Davis gets carried out by other refs. Orndorff clotheslines Hogan, and drops an elbow, but it's Hulk Up time. Hulk punches and chops Paul, and rams him face-first into the cage. Hulk kicks at Heenan, and rams him again. And again and aGAIN. Backbreaker and legdrop, and Hulk goes up. Heenan then opens the door and grabs Hulk's leg, but gets kicked off. Hulk punches and atomic drops Paul, rams Heenan into the cage, and climbs on out. *** for the drama. This shit was serious when I was a kid. Hulk beats Heenan up some more to celebrate. We then see side-by-side footage of the two men jumping to the floor at the same time. Jesse points out Hogan's legs are bent, and Paul's are straight, so therefore Orndorff reached first.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage and Elizabeth talk to Gene. Savage tells her "I'm the champion, and nobody cares about you."

Randy Savage vs. George "The Animal" Steele- George came out with his LJN figure, which he gives to Liz.  Macho impressively bounced it on the mat, then Steele lifted him by his throat. He rams Savage to the buckles, then slams him, twice. Steele then waves towards the locker room, and Savage throws him down. Savage slams Steele, and goes to the top. Then Ricky Steamboat's music hits and he appears, and Steele slams Savage off the top. Steele throws Savage over the top rope, and George grabs Liz and leaves. Steamboat makes karate gestures at Savage, who of course crushed his larynx with the ring bell. Steele returns, and rips the buckle open. He rubs the stuff in Savage's face and throws it on the ref, then slams Savage. Savage puts on the breaks and sends Steele into the buckles. Macho punches and kicks the Animal, until Steele returns favor, and also bites Savage. Steele gets caught in the ropes, but when he gets out bites Savage's arm. Steele gets knocked out, and then hits Savage with a rolled-up foreign object. Steele then shoves down the ref, and Savage waffles him in the back of the head with the ring bell for the win. * for the match, but the angle was important. Steamboat then returns to prevent Savage from doing to Steele what happened to him. Steamboat rubs Animal's head and pours the buckle stuff on it to calm him down. * for the match, but the angle was important.

Gene talks to Heenan and Race. "I am the king of wrestling...everyone will bow to me in servitude," Race says. Heenan says JYD will be bow-wowing to Race tonight.

Harley Race vs. JYD- McMahon makes a throne joke about Race, natch. JYD says he only bows to the good lord above. Then Gene also makes a throne joke. Class-y. JYD presents his ample posterior to Race, which is probably not the bowing he meant. As Danny Davis talks with JYD, Race punches him and gets two. A flying knee followed by a kneedrop gets two. JYD fires back and whips Race into the post. Race headbutts Race down, but Race gets a belly-to-belly. He drops a headbutt, but it hurts Race more than JYD. Dog then crawls around headbutting Race, and the King does a Flair flop out of the ring. Dog then puts on the robe and crown, which I've seen a million times in the video package on Wrestlemania III. Heenan then attacks JYD from behind, and does an awesome flip sell of a punch. Race then its the Dog with an elbow from the top. Finally the bell rings, and Davis comically raises JYD's arm as he's unconscious on the mat. Heenan and Race try to make Dog bow, but he Dogs Up and chases them away. Davis then grabs the Dog by the waist, but gets headbutted. That was uncalled for. I'll give the match a star, but it was crap. 

Heenan tells Orndorff you are the world champion in the locker room. He's gonna go to WWF president Jack Tunney, and in less than a month the belt will be around Orndorff's waist. I don't think there was really any follow-up on this; by the next SNME it was all Hogan vs. Andre. Perhaps if the rumors of Orndorff on standby to replace Andre are true, this was their way to keep the feud alive.

Gene talks to Adonis and Jimmy Hart. Adrian is apparently leaner and meaner, and back from being injured by Piper.

Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper- Adonis also just comes out in his trunks, not wearing a dress and scarves. Piper tells Adonis (and Gene) he's fighting for pride. Piper throws his kilt at Adonis, and hiptosses him twice, and kneelifts him over the top rope. Adonis does a Flair Flip on the top, and Piper bites him. Piper throws him across the ring by his arm, then snaps it on the top rope. Adonis fires back, and scratches his back. Piper punches away, and slams his face on the mat. Adonis locks on goodnight Irene, but they fall to the floor. Piper punches Jimmy, but Adonis hits him with his atomizer, and sprays Piper in the eyes. Think Martel and Jake. Piper gets counted out by Joey Marella, *3/4. That seems more like a Danny Davis call. Piper then hiptosses Marella. McMahon says Piper probably thought Marella was Adonis. Riiiight.

Gene talks to Hogan. Hulk is getting off on this victory. Eww. He suggests if you run the video of the finish backwards like an old cartoon, then maybe Orndorff won. 

Blackjack Mulligan vs. Jimmy Jack Funk- This is the Battle for Texas, with a similiar graphic to This Tuesday in Texas. JJ is pointing out Mulligan's spurs to the lady ref. Mulligan removes them, and JJ attacks him. BJ reverses a whip, and clotheslines JJ out. He backdrops JJ on the floor. Mulligan presses JJ over his head, drops him, and lariats JJ. A flying back elbow finishes. *. Mulligan then tries to hang JJ. I don't understand why the WWF brought in BJ right after his SON left the Federation. 

THIS has to be the credit sequence that originally had "Take Me Home" by Phil Collins. If I get a chance I'll check my copy of the original.

Saturday Night's Main Event #8- Hung and Bung

Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Damian discuss strategy for his match with "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Savage tells Elizabeth if he loses it's her fault for not correctly polishing his belt. Koko B. Ware will make his SNME debut here. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper will crush some worms later. The Hart Foundation does individual promos, and are then together. They'll give the Killer Bees a Hart attack. Hulk Hogan accepts Hercules' challenge.

From Los Angeles Sports Arena, future site of Wrestlemania VII (damn terrorists).

"Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to Jake. He sneaks up on Gene and puts Damian on his neck.

WWF intercontiental championship, Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage (c)- Macho tells Gene he isn't afraid of snakes. He is in fact going to skin Damian. Jake tries to intimidate Liz with the snake before the match, then gets Macho to hide behind her. It's just so funny to think of what was to come with these three later. Both hit the ropes and threaten a punch to being. Macho pulls hair on an armwringer, and snake does the same. Jake does an armdrag takedown, and Macho freaks out when he gets near Damian. Jake grabs a headlock and gets a takeover, but Savage pulls his hair. Macho misses an elbow, and Jake almost gets a DDT but he slips out. Jakes chases him outside, and kicks his midsection back in to almost get the DDT. Savage fires away in the corner, and Jake eats boot on a charge. Savage gets two there. He rams Jake's face to the canvas for two, then kicks him in the head for another. Knee to the face for another two-count. Jake fires away, but Macho knees him in the back of the head. Savage chokes him on the top rope. When he tries a pin Jake gets his foot on the rope. More near, near-fallin'. He ties Jake in the ropes a la Andre, and Jake leaps to the floor and grabs Damian. He pushes the bag under the ring as they head to break. Jake gets free, and kneelifts Savage as he comes back in. Jake grabs Damian,and then gets the short-arm clothesline for a rope-assisted two. Jake gets a One Man Gang-style suplex for two (foot again on the rope). Jake punches away and drops Savage. Macho kicks him coming off of the ropes, but when Jake tries a DDT Savage gets into the ropes, then goes out. Savage holds Liz in front of him outside, and when Jake goes for Damian Macho knees him into the post. He then drops the axehandle from the top. He gets another axehandle inside for two, but gets punched when he tries another. A knee knocks Jake out, and he pulls out Savage, back in Savage throws Dave Hebner when he tries to break up the fight, then Jake does the same. Savage grabs a chair and Jake gets Damian, and he chases Savage away with the Snake. ***1/2. It was officially a double-disqualification.

We saw "The Selling of Hercules" with Slick and Heenan. So Slick managed him two different times?

Gene talks to Herc and Heenan (I'd say Herc and Jerk, but I think Gorilla dubbed Power and Glory that). I never knew why Herc's complexion was always so pink. Herc repeats "I am the champion," which Gene says just because you say it....

We see Hulk's boobies bouncing for a disturbing five seconds. Hulk said it could have been the real Hercules. Ha, Hulk says he "hung and bung" on the Titanic! Another short-lived tag team referenced there (albeit by an unofficial name, TM Diddly...).  Hulk tells Herc where the power lies.

WWF championship, Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Hercules- Herc offers a test of strength, and overpowers Hulk. What's with the blue kneepads? I thought Hogan's wardrobe was set by this point. Hulk then reverses, but Herc headbutts his chest. Herc runs him into the corner.Hulk reverses a whip and gets a clothesline. Hulk drops him with a high knee, and then chases Heenan off the apron, to the floor, into the ring, and boots Herc but misses an elbowdrop. Heenan's vault over the top was amazing. Herc whips Hogan back-first to the corner, then drops on his back. Herc grabs a bearhug, then gets a backbreaker and bends Hulk over his knee. Herc celebrates for awhile, then gets Hulk in a tortune rack. Jesse claims Hogan submitted, and Herc drops him. He argues with Hebner, who heard nothing. Herc covers without hooking, and Hulk kicks out and Hulks Up. He rams Herc into the corners back and forth, chops him down, then hits the big boot and legdrop. *1/2. The wrestling wasn't any good, but there was a little drama with the supposed submission. 

Jesse talks to Jimmy Hart and "Cowboy" Bob Orton at a restaurant. Orton said Piper used him. He did the dirty work, and Piper got the glory. But tonight, Piper has no friends.

Bob Orton vs. Roddy Piper- We see a special music video about Orton and Piper's friendship. I think it was originally set to "You're a Friend of Mine." Piper talks to Gene with either a bottle of water dumped on his head or sweating like a cokehead. Maybe a little of both. He was rowdy before rowdy was cool. "Magnificent" Muraco is also in Orton's corner. Piper waves Muraco in and Piper swings at him. The ref then throws Muraco out, even though he  hasn't really done anything. Piper fires away at Orton, and bulldogs him. Piper bites his forehead. He whips Orton in the corner, where Orton takes the buckles back-first. Piper fires away on him and gets a two-count. Orton punches him coming off of the ropes, and then kicks him in the lower abdomen. Orton gives him a gutbuster and then drops an elbow for two. Orton misses an elbowdrop, Piper knocks him into Hart, and Piper gets the pin. * I don't think I knew Hart managed Orton during this period. The Muraco/Orton team was managed by Fuji, at least as of Mania III.

Piper tells Gene the work has just begun. "When I'm good I'm good; when I'm bad I'm much better."

Gene talks to the Hart Foundation, and tells them a win would get them closer to the tag team championship. "We are the world," Bret says. Anvil adds "we are the champions."

Killer Bees vs. Hart Foundation- Hart starts with Jim Brunzell. He hits Bret with an impressive flying knee. B. Brain Blair jumps off the top onto Bret's arm. They show an inset promo with the bees masked, though I can clearly tell them apart. Anvil comes in and gets double-teamed. Bret knees Brunzell in the back to turn the tide. They hit the Demolition Decapitation but the ref was arguing with Neidhart and they only got two. Anvil dropkicks Jumpin' Jim in the face. Tag to Bret, and he pounds away. They doubleteam in the corner and Anvil drops him on the top rope. Bret cuts off a tag, and starts the alleged Five Moves of Doom. Bret launches Jim to the floor impressively. Jim gets a shoulderblock and a sunset flip for two, and dropkicks Who. Anvil gets the tag, as do the Bees, but the ref misses it. The Bees put their masks on, and Blair goes in. He takes on both Harts, and the other Bee cheapshots Bret and he falls to the floor. Bee 1 puts Anvil in a sleeper, but Bret jumps off the top to break it up. The Bees switch again, Anvil tags Bret, and he gets small-packaged for three. **3/4.

Gene interviews Frankie the Bird about what he's going to do when he goes to Chernobyl and Leningrad. Koko B. Ware was also there.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Koko B. Ware- Why is Slick's arm in a sling? Jesse talked to them earlier, and his arm was fine! Nikolai is also fine with his honest new manager. This version has Koko coming out to "Piledriver," Nikolai attacks to start. he misses a charge, Koko leapfrogs him, peppers him with rights, and gets on his shoulders for some sort of monkey flip. Two dropkicks get two. Nikolai hits a spinning back kick, and drops the Birdman on the top rope. He slams Koko but misses a kneedrop. Koko goes up to the top for a dropkick, which gets two. Nikolai press slams him into a gutbuster, but picks Koko up. Nikolai goes to Slick for advice, and Koko rolls him up for three. *1/4.

Hulk tells Gene Ventura misinterpreted weaknesses in Hogan. They had equal strength, but Hulk had the Hulkamaniacs. Hulk won't be here forever, but Hulkamania is forever.

Gene interviews Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji  about Don's match with "The Rebel" Dick Slater tonight. Fuji sings "Dixieland" in a famous clip.

Magnificent Muraco vs. Dick Slater- Muraco is assaulting Slater as we return from break. And here's another random ref I don't recognize from WWF TV. What is with them using scabs for the SNME shows? This is network TV! Slater drops the Rock with a right hand, then a back elbow and rake of the eyes with his boot. Slater hits an elbow to Don's head off the ropes to breat up a pin attempt. Fuji puts Muraco's foot on the rope and then trips the Rebel. Muraco then hits him and puts his own feet on the ropes for leverage. *

Check out Jake vs. Savage, at least as an historical curiosity.

Saturday Night's Main Event #7: I'm Roddy Piper, and you're not

I can't take credit for this awesome artwork.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura intros the new season of the show. We then see Jake "The Snake" Roberts in a shower with Damian, which I vaguely remember him discussing on his DVD set. I can't remember if it was his idea or Dick Ebersol's. Johnny V says the British Bulldogs are full of British Bull___. Edgy. Kevin Sullivan's father also yells about Kamala, and Heenan and Paul Orndorff do a promo in front of three mirrors. And Hogan does his usual.

From the Richfield Coliseum in Cleveland. 

"Mean" Gene Okerlund with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. And they show the Flower Shop incident, which is one of three events that cemented my fandom. One of the other two will surely be shown later in this episode. Piper is supposedly too injured to wrestle because of his knee injury. He says if he wants to wrestle, he's gonna wrestle. My God, I thought that shit was deadly serious, especially when Pipes destroyed the Flower Shop.

And here's the second one- Paul Orndorff attacking Hogan during a tag team match with King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd. Orndorff's side of the story is Hogan stopped returning his calls. 

Meanwhile, the Hulkster gets Biblical on Orndorff's backside. Gene gets a rebut from Heenan and Orndorff on "that Albino ape." They reveal Orndorff will be using "Real American." I had forgotten about that bit.

WWF championship, Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Hulk picks Gene up and moves him out of his way on the way to the ring. McMahon thinks Hogan looks like a boxcar coming down to the ring. Hogan misses a charge and Paula fires away. Hogan retaliates and drops him with a punch. Hogan chases Heenan off the apron, and Orndorff clotheslines him over and out. Hogan rams him into the apron. Back in, Hulk chops away and Orndorff is wobbly-legged. Headbutt, and a corner clothesline. Hogan knocks Heenan down again, and Orndorff punches Hulk in the throat. Boogie-woogie elbow is followed by kneedrops. Hogan fell on the timekeeper, and Orndorff chokes him with a cord. Orndorff won't let him back into the ring. Orndorff chokes Hogan with his knee, and an uppercut to the throat gets two. Orndorff bites his nose and a suplex gets two. Hogan reverses a whip and hits a big knee. Hogan slams him, but Heenan grabs his ankle. Hogan drops down to avoid Orndorff's charge, and he topples out. Police then escort Heenan out. When we return, Heenan is locked up in the back. Orndorff has the advantage inside, and does the same offense as before. Orndorff gets a backbreaker, and an elbow gets two. A big clothesline, and Orndorff signals for a piledriver. Hogan backdrops him out. He Hulks Up on Orndorff, and punches away. Big elbow and Hogan clotheslines him. Hogan sets up for a piledriver, and gets attacked by Adrian Adonis. Piper hobbles down on a crutch. He whallops Adonis out of the ring with it, and swings and misses Hogan. Hogan almost hits Piper, but they hit a stalemate. **3/4

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat- Gene talked to Jake in the shower with Damian earlier. Jake tells Gene he should go back to selling encyclopedias, which Gene denies. Earlier Steamboat showed the cameras his dragon. Moving on, Jake works the arm to begin, but Dragon chops out of it, and backdrops Jake by the wrist for two. Armdrag takedown by the Dragon, as Jake tries to get his bag. Steamboat kind of backdrops Jake, onto his ribs instead of a full flip. Outside and in, and Ricky's armdraggin'. Jake misses on a charge, and gets slingshot into the buckles. Dragon hits him then goes up, but hits knees. Both men crawl to their bags, but Jake cuts the Dragon off. Roberts drops the Dragon on his ribs for two. A flying shot to the ribs drops Steamboat. A short-arm clothesline gets two. Jake gets a scoop slam and works on Ricky's ribs. Steamboat chops away but gets kneelifted. A snapmare gets two for Jake. Ricky rams his head to the mat, but gets atomic dropped. Ricky gets a crucifix for the 1-2-3. **1/2. Jake knocks him out of the ring and rams his back into the post. Roberts pulls out Damian, then Steamboat brings out a "dragon" (gila monster, maybe?). Roberts then bails.

Gene talks to Hogan. Hulk was turned on by the 20,000 Hulkamaniac's butts...in the juror's box. He warned Piper not to come into his courtroom, even though he took care of Adonis. Heenan is guilty by association. He says it wasn't a hung jury (and not in the way the Rock used it). Hogan said the verdict is guilty as charged.

The Iron Sheik vs. Pedro Morales- We see Jesse interview Slick and Sheik when they arrived by limo earlier. Piper then comes down via crutch. Originally it was scheduled as Piper vs. the Sheik. Piper ordered Morales out, then whalloped Sheik with the crutch. He pounded on Sheik, but when he threatened Slick Sheik attacked and choked Roddy with his shirt. Roddy gets a small package off of a suplex attempt for the win. *1/2 for the match, but the segment deserves more. Piper is squarely a face at this point.

Johnny V says he knows Mean Gene was in on his men getting robbed of their belts at Wrestlemania 2, as we see a clip. 

Gene talks to Piper, who dumps a cola on his head. He does what he wants. Great promo; I couldn't do justice recapping it. He closes by saying "I'm Roddy Piper; you're not."

WWF tag team championship, 2 out of 3 falls: The Dream Team vs. The British Bulldogs (c)- Dynamite atomic dropped Valentine to begin, and Davey cheapshot him. Jesse was unaware of the 2 out of 3 falls rule here. Slugfest, and Valentine works Dynamite's knee in the corner. Beefcake suplexes the Kid next, and works that knee. Davey gets tagged, and they exchange arm wringers. Beefcake drops him, then holds him for an elbow to the head by Valentine for two. Doubleteams on Davey. Valentine misses an elbow and Davey tags Dynamite. A chops drops him like a tree, but Valentine hits an atomic drop. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker for two. A clothesline gets two, then Brutus comes in and drops elbows for two. Valentine headbutts Kid to the junk, but gets forearmed. Dynamite headbutts him, but Valentine hits the knee and locks on the figure four. Beefcake drops Davey and Kid submits.

Round 2: Gene tells us Adonis may have a shoulder separation from the crutch shot. Valentine is still working the knee, though Kid pushes him off when he attempts a figure four. Brutus in, and he stomps the knee and cheapshots Davey. The Dream Team wishbones the Kid. Beefer stomps away. Brutus (the future Fuckin' Barber) Beefcake does the strut he did as a face, then miiltary presses Kid. He drops him for two, then Valentine drops an elbow. A bodyslam is followed by a missed elbow, and Davey gets the tag. He headbutts Valentine and clothesline him, and dropkicks Beefcake. Headbutt Valentine, then a War and Peace suplex on Valentine for two. Davey powerslams Valentine but Beefcake runs in. Davey puts him in a fireman's carry position, then Kid springboards off Beefer's back with a flying headbutt to make it a fall apiece. 

Round 3: A limping Kid faces Valentine, who goes right for the knee. Kid fights back with headbutts and chops. He gets a snap suplex, but misses a headbutt to the mat. Valentine drops elbows for two. Kid gets the tag but the ref missed it. Beefcake goes off the top with a forearm, and Valentine gets two on the Kid. More work on the knee, but he is kicked off when he attempts the figure four. Beefer and Davey get tagged in, and Brutus backdrops Davey. A clothesline gets two. Brutus with a blatant chokehold, and a headbutt to the junk gets two. Atomic drop by Kid gets two. Brutus gets tagged and shoves Smith. He rakes Davey's eyes with his boot, and Valentine snaps his throat on the top rope. Valentine drops knees to Smiths' throat, and suplexes him for two. Beefcake gets a flying knee, but Dynamite breaks up the pin. It turns into a Pier 6er, and Beefcake misses flying knee in the corner and Davey perfect-plexes him for the win. ***1/4 That was probably better than the Mania 2 match.

Kamala vs. "Leaping" Lanny Poffo- Earlier the Wizard told Gene Kamala is from a tribe that dates back thousands of years. Gene welcomed Kamala back. Kamala misses a chop and Lanny backflips. Kamala throws Lanny and he kips up. Kamala then jumps in the air in response. He kickes Lanny, and chops him coming off the ropes. Kamala rams his head to the buckles, and picks Poffo up by the neck. Lanny fires back, but Kamala rakes his eyes and gives him a double shot the throat. Body slam, splash, and that's it. 3/4* Kamala goes to the top, but Kim Chee talks him down.

I wonder if this is the episode that originally ended with Phil Collins' "Take Me Home" playing over the credits. Here it's "Real American" (which is of course Paul Orndorff's theme).

I'm encouraged that the wrestling is getting better on these shows, plus we're into the era when I started watching, so I will hopefully start enjoying these shows more.