Saturday Night's Main Event #18- 10 Seconds a Slave

War! The Ultimate Warrior declares war, here on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. “I’m the champion!” Andre the Giant bellows again. WWF champion Randy ”Macho Man” Savage likens his bout with Andre to David vs. Goliath. Ted Dibiase is sending Virgil after his slave, Hercules. Hulk Hogan does his first promo on this show about going on Brother Love’s interview segment. Yep.

From Sacramento, California.

Gene talks to Mr. Fuji and the Super Ninja 1. This is the only time I ever saw this character, who I believe was Rip Oliver under the mask.

WWF intercontinental championship, Super Ninja 1 vs. The Ultimate Warrior (c)- Gene talks to the champ. “War holds no secrets for.me, war holds only victory.” Ninja attacks to start, but Warrior no-sells and catches a kick. He catches another and flips the Ninja backwards. Warrior leapfrogs him, and kicks Ninja to the floor. Warrior press-slams him back into the ring, and shakes them ropes. He rams Ninja's head to the buckles, and back elbows him off of the ropes. Another clothesline drops him, and Warrior presses Ninja. A splash finishes him. * I thought they were going to give Ninja a little offense for drama.

We see Ted Dibiase buying Hercules from Bobby Heenan as a slave. I forgot the Megapowers feud kind of transitioned to this.

Virgil vs. Hercules- Hercules tells Gene he is a free man. This whole story would've been better if Herc actually won the feud. Dibiase and Virgil doubleteam to begin, but Herc gets a double clothesline. Herc gets a baaaaack bodydrop on Virgil, and clotheslines him to the floor. Herc chases Dibiase around outside and through the ring, and clotheslines Virgil. Herc hits a back elbow, and hits one to the mat. Dibiase jumps on the apron, but Virgil doesn't capitalize. Herc hits him downstairs, and rocks him with a kneelift. He drops Virg with a clothesline, but kicks at Dibiase instead of following up. Virg hits Herc, but gets clotheslined again. Herc hits a powerslam, and gets the pin. * This accomplished what it set out to do. Herc tosses Virgil onto Dibiase, and swings his chain so Dibiase can't enter the ring.

We see footage of Andre getting scared of Damian on the last SNME. I still don't like this whole deal. Gene talks to Andre and Heenan. When Gene suggests Andre has a phobia, Andre is ready to wallop him. Heenan stops that and says everyone knows Andre is the champion, and "we'll get it back tonight."

WWF championship, Andre the Giant vs. Randy Savage- This match should feel like a bigger deal, but I think the Hacksaw Duggan and Jake Roberts feuds knocked Andre down a few pegs. Gene talks to the champ and Liz. Gene says "why risk it all in front of 35 million people..." Sure, Gene. On the Something to Wrestle With podcast about Savage, I believe Bruce Prichard said Andre didn't like working with Randy. And holy shit- Vince throws it to the Mountain Dew Slam of the Night, but they don't show it! Booo! I'll have to see if I can find the original airing of this show. Anyway, Savage went to attack but Andre grabbed him by the throat. Savage tries to fight, but Andre grabs him. He knees Savage in the corner, and squashes him there. Savage eventually kicks him, but he gets caught again. Andre chokes Savage with the Tarzan part of his singlet. Savage shoulders him in the corner, but Andre stops him. Andre headbutts him down, then chokes him against the top rope. He whips Savage down, then chokes so more. He holds Savages arms, but Savage pops him in the chin with his head. Andre takes over again, though. Savage gets loose and axehandles him to the head, then kicks him when he's down on one knee. Jake Roberts wanders out, which can mean only one thing- we're close to a commercial break. He put the snake bag under the ring. It's funny to see Jake, Liz and Macho all on the same side here. Savage goes out and  tells Jake to leave, and the Snake whispers something to him. When we resume Savage hits an axehandle to Andre as Heenan looks under the ring for Damian. Savage kicks away at the Giant, who is preoccupied by the search for Damian. Savage axehandles Andre while his back is turned. Heenan is overturning chairs on the floor. Andre headbutts Savage down, and repeadteldy butt-drops him. Savage rolls out after Heenan. Andre flips him back in, as Heenan finds Damian and tries to leave with him. Jake chases Heenan into the ring, then Savage whips Heenan into Andre. Andre gets tied in the ropes, and Savage tosses out Heenan. Savage invites Jake in, and he lets out Damian. Heenan gets Andre free before the snake gets to him, though. McMahon says this was a double-disqualification. *

Gene is with Duggan. Hacksaw likes to keep things simple. You’ll raise another flag.in the U.S.A. Over his dead body. He also insults Dino Bravo’s flag, because of course he does.

Boris Zhukov vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan- winner gets his flag raised. Not sure why his promo was about Bravo. Duggan chases Zhukov off with the board to begin. They slug it out, and Duggan gives him an atomic drop. Clothesline, and Boris bails. They lock up and roll around the ropes, and Zhukov takes advantage with a punch. He knees Duggan when he goes to backflip the Russian, but he takes over again with punches. Both men miss moves, and Boris bites Duggan's head. Zhuchov whips Duggan, but gets clotheslined. Duggan executes a scoop slam, then hits the 3-point stance clothesline for the win. * He then salutes his flag. Comrade Trump would be proud... or would he?
We see Hulk's first appearance on the Brother Love Show, when the Big Boss Man beat him and handcuffed him to a railing.

Speaking of Bruce Pritchard, it's the Brother Love Show. We then see Gene interview Hulk, as they watch Love introduce Slick instead of Hulk. Love then brings out the Hulkster. Love cuts off the posing. He asks Hulk how it felt.when the Boss Man whipped his back. He pulls the mic away, and says it must have felt real good. Love asks what was going through his mind while he was getting beaten, and he and Slick answer for him. Hulk then grabs the mic, and threatens to show him the school of hard knox, Hulkamania-style. Hulk then asks the heels how they’d like it if a Hulkamaniac did the same thing to them, and answers himself. Judge Hogan would also pass the execution on Love. Hulk grabs Slick, and tosses him to the floor. Love nails Hulk from behind, tells Hulk he doesn't want to lose control again, and Hulk slams him. Hulk then handcuffs him to the top, and clotheslines him over it. Brother Love could have lost an arm!

Jesse talks to the Rougeaus and Jimmy Hart. The big scoop is the Rougeaus have moved to the U.S., in Memphis. I hate three fourths of the people on my screen here.

The Young Stallions vs. The Rougeaus- Powers and Jacques start. Jacques shoulderblocks then dropkicks Powers. Powers grabs a headlock, monkeyflips fails. Jacques axehandles him, Rougeaus doubleteam. They do a press backbreaker thing, and Jacques hits a flying back elbow for two. Jacques misses a twisting bodypress, and Powers tags Roma. Roma clotheslines Raymond and slams Jacques, and hits a fistdrop. Clothesline Raymond, and a missile dropkick gets two. Powers and Jacques brawl, and then with the ref distracted they hit their doubleteam move for the win. *1/2 Could have been decent with time.

Jesse talks to Andre and Heenan. Jesse says "Andre, I can't believe you're afraid of a snake," an Andre grabs him by the lapels. Andre tells Jake to fight like a man. Gene tells Jake that Andre obviously has a phobia. He says he and Damian won't stop until they've totally consumed one giant.

Gene talks to Hogan about his interview earlier. Being the executioner apparently turned him on. It won't be the electric chair or gas chamber, brother. With 20/20 hindsight, this interview sounds really bad.

I'm not sure I'd recommend this episode. Andre-Savage should've been a bigger deal, and the other matches are that great. What would be great, however, is for you to click one of the links on the right for one of my ebooks. In fact, today (1/28),you can get it for free- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078HRSNZ1 . Thanks for your support.

Saturday Night's Main Event #17- Baltimore Beatings!

We begin with Jake “The Snake” Roberts making out with his wife, Cheryl. “Ravishing” Rick Rude says the night will.end with Damian wrapped around Jake”s neck, and Cheryl around his. Ooooh. Big Boss Man says “you have the right to feel pain. If you wish to have an attorney present, I’ll hurt him too!” The Hart Foundation wants to win the tag titles tonight, this time without Jimmy Hart. Demolition says there won't be anything for the Harts to reconstruct. Hulk Hogan is going to have Elizabeth present, to knock King Haku off of his throne.

From the Baltimore Arena, it's the fifth season premiere. They say Haku is defending the crown against Hogan. I’m holding them to that. First, we see the events leading up to Roberts-Rude.

Gene asks why would Rude want to face Roberts. He says Roberts and Damian couldn't win a three-legged race. Oh snap.

Gene says Rude is wearing the Cheryl tights. Jake says not for long. “Rude and his tights will go down.” Cheryl also has a fig leaf for Rude.

Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts- Another Mania IV tourney rematch. And what a high bar they set there. They lock up to start and roll down the ropes. Rude shoulders him in the corner, but Jake hits a kneelift. Jake getsa wristlock. Rude tried to escape but Jake pulls him back in. Rude leapfrogs but gets hit low. Jake signals for the DDT, but Rude bails. Rude rakes the eyes coming back in. Jake misses his short arm clothesline, and Rude gets his own. Rude continues to work him over, and gestures at Cheryl. Jake clotheslines him when he is distracted, and punches him down. Jake gives him a gutbuster, and surfboards Rude so Cheryl can slap him. The ref ejects Cheryl and they head to a break, of course. Back, and Rude sends Jake into the post, then rams his arm into it. Jake pounds away back in, and gibes him a baaack bodydrop. He goes for tye DDt but gets backdropped. Rude does a fistdrop, and gets two on a sloppy cover. Jake bites his arm to get out of an armbar, and gets the DDT. He pulls Rude’s tights off instead of covering, and Heenan stomps away for the DQ. *** He also waved for Andre to come in, and he headbutts Jake to the floor. Jake then grabs Damian. Andre is afraid of the snake and begs off, but Jake.eventually throws Damian on the giant, Andre clutches his chest, and appears passed out. I just feel bad for the guy seeing this again. Heenan pounds on Andre’s chest and yells for help.

After the break officials are helping Andre get back up. He rolls out of the ring, bowling down one jabroni in the process. It unfortunately wasn't Pat Patterson, who was there, too. Heenan hugs the big man on the outside in a touching moment.

Gene talks to the Hart Foundation about their match with Demolition. They are sick of Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart, who will be with Demolition and Mr. Fuji tonight.

Jesse talks to the champs. Hart wants to prove the Harts are nothing without him. Ax says they'll be Conservatives and let the Harts be Liberals; "Bleeding-heart Liberals," Smash ads. It was a question from Jesse, what do you expect? He wanted to be Trump's running mate!

WWF tag team championship, Hart Foundation vs. Demolition (c)- Anvil starts with Ax. They slug it out to begin, but the Demos doubleteam in the corner. Smash can't suplex the Anvil, and he gets two off of that. Now the Harts doubleteam Smash, and Bret dropkicks him. He drops his elbow from the second rope for two. Bret started twisting Smash's arm, only to get clotheslined. Bret takes his patented sternum bump, and gets ruammed into Smash's boot in the corner. Anvil tries to come in, and Hart gets doubleteamed as a result. Fuji also chokes him with his cane. Smash snapmares him, and gets a chinlock. Ax gets the tag. Smash tags Ax, doubleteam Hart. Smash in for some clubberin'. He keeps working Bret over, and chokes him on the top. Smash misses a clothesline, Bret gets his own. Bret tags Anvil, who goes wild on the Demos. He punches Smash, dropkicks Ax then one for Smash, and a forearm and powerslam for the future Repo Man. Ax breaks up a pin, and all four in. The Demos get whipped together, Bret hits Fuji, Anvil grabs Jimmy, the Rougeaus run in and give Smash the megaphone, and he whacks Anvil with it for the pin. **¾.

We see footage of old King Harley Race missing a headbutt to a table against Hogan back in March. Haku is out for revenge. That's some impressive retconning, since Race wrestled.after that and Race even came for revenge against Haku a couple of months after this. They get Gene to bow indirectly.

King Haku vs. Hulk Hogan- Gene asks Hulk about his physical condition after his beating from the Big Bossman. He’s battered and bruised, but he's gonna knock him off his throne. He also has Elizabeth, “on loan from his Megapowers partner.” Mmm-hmm. Jesse’s not buying that one, either. Haku attacks as Hogan gets patted down. Chops aplenty, and he bites Hulk’s nose. Hulk begins the Hulk Up sequence, and Haku bails. Hulk rakes his back, and gets a clothesline and bootrakes his eyes. Heenan grabs his ankle, and Haku attacks Hulk coming back in. Haku chokes the Hulkster on the mat, and rakes his face. He works a nerve hold but Hogan Hulks Up again. An eyerake stops that, Hogan Irish whips Haku, but the Islander chops Hogan to the head and thrust kicks him out of the ring. Impressive. Heenan taunts Hogan outside, while Liz yells "c'mon ref!' Haku jumps off with a chop, but hits Heenan instead. Hogan goes back in and is now wearing the crown. That reminds me of Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds on SNL.  So of course they go to a break with Heenan being helped to the back. When they return Haku and Hogan tie up like it's  a new match, and Hogan pummels him the corner. He whips Haku to the buckles, but the King comes out with a clothesline. He drops a headbutt on Hogan, and stomps him. Haku gets a suplex for two. More Up Hulking, big boot, legdrop FTW. *3/4. I now hate the SNME match formula as much as I do Raw's. I was so ready for this match to end before they did the commercial break reset. Hulky poses, and Liz even cups her ear. Where is the Macho Man during all of this?

Oh God, Dino Bravo is being interviewed by Mean Gene. He's just the worst.

Dino Bravo vs. Ken Patera- I just watched a Bravo match in the last hour, at WMV vs. Garvin. Let's get this over with. Patera says the stupid "America- Love it or Leave it" line that contradicts all of our supposed freedoms here. Sigh. They run into each other, and Patera clotheslines him and gives forearm shots.  Patera with a baaaack bodydrop, and a body slam. Bravo headbutts him in the gut, and chops him in the corner. Patera gets rammed into the top buckle, and chokes him. Patera reverses an Irish whip, and punches Bravo in the corner. Patera with a snapmare and slam. After a shoulderblock he goes for the full nelson, which I didn't think he was using at this point. Patera charges into a boot. Bravo gets a reverse atomic drop, and the side slam gets the duke. * I would have gone a point higher if Patera swung him around in the full nelson. Hell, I may have give this five star for that.

Gene talks to Slick and the Boss Man. Gene says he makes Harry Carey look like Regis Philbin. I don't know what that means.

Big Boss Man vs. Jim Powers- This can't go long, judging by the timer. Boss Man hammers away on Powers, who goes between his legs but gets backed into the corner. Boss Man splashes him in the corner, and gets a kneelift. BBM headbutts him, and raises his arms to show his sweat stains. He does the rope straddle splash that Jericho used, and chops Powers in the throat. Boss Man gets a bearhug,  and chokes Powers on the middle rope. Boss Man misses a clothesline and Powers gets two dropkicks, but BBM uses his finisher when he comes off of the ropes. 3/4* He cuffs powers to the middle rope, and whacks him with the nightstick. Paul Roma said Powers was a drunk, but this is a bit much.

Gene talks to Hogan about the beating BBM gave him on the Brother Love Show. Wow, Hulk even says the name Jim Powers. He didn't care enough to go help the kid, of course.

Ventura talks to Andre and Bobby. Ventura asks Andre if he's afraid of snakes. Andre grabs him by the shirt collar, and says don't say that word.

Saturday Night's Main Event #16

I watched this show while sleeping over at our friends the Ludwigs' house when it aired when I was a kid. I believe my brother was also there, hanging out with the two older boys. Yep.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan says it's spring cleaning time in the WWF. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan says when you wrestle one member of the Heenan Family, you're wrestling them all. Slick says call the police; they were robbed at Wrestlemania IV. "Macho Man" Randy Savage says the Madness will surround the One Man Gang. 

From Springfield, Mass. We see footage of Duggan walloping Andre with his 2x4 when the Giant was choking him. 

"Mean" Gene Okerlund with Hercules, Heenan and Andre. Bobby says Jigsaw Jim won't get away with hitting Andre. The Giant bellows out a good "Hooooo!"

Hercules vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan- Gene talks to Duggan. He says Herc is a yo yo at the bottom of Heenan's chain. Duggan reminds us Andre cost him the WWF title at WMIV. I'm impressed they acknowledged that; today's WWE never would. Ventura says Duggan sounds like a "wounded water buffalo in heat." They lock up , then Duggan reverses an attempted ramming of his head to the turnbuckles. Herc tries an Irish whip, but gets clotheslined. Herc takes a breather. Duggan drags him back in by the hair, and flips him back inside. Duggan hits a baaaack bodydrop, but misses a kneedrop. He works over the knee until Duggan tries a charge, which he misses. Herc chokes him on the middle rope, and stops a Duggan comeback by tossing him outside. Back in Herc hits a back elbow. Heenan cheapshots duggan while he's laying on the apron, so Duggan grabs the 2x4, chasing Heenan who does a spectacular bump to the floor. Herc jumps Duggan as he returns the board. Herc locks in a bearhug, Duggan fights out but Herc hits a flying knee. More rope-assisted choking. Duggan hits a knee off the ropes and hits an axehandle. He punches Herc in the corner, and gets a hiptoss. Duggan goes into the three-point stance, hits the clothesline, but Heenan breaks up the pin. Andre then assaults Duggan as Herc holds him. The Ultimate Warrior then runs out, giving Duggan his board. I believe that's the Warrior's first SNME appearance. *1/4

We see Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake cutting Jimmy Hart's hair at WMIV. Gene talks to Hart and "Dangerous" Danny Davis, who has a bag of barber tools of his own. 

Danny Davis vs. Brutus Beefcake- Gene interviews the Barber. "All work and no place gives Brutus a dull blade," Beefcake says. Brutus proclaims it 2 for 1 night, and shows Gene the hair he cut off of Hart. Hart runs for cover upon Brutus' arrival.  Brutus and Davis lock up, and Beefcake shoves him down. Davis hits a forearm that Brutus no-sells. Beefcake musses up his hair, and rams him into the buckles. Brutus hiptosses Davis, who gets a cheap shot while the ref tries to separate them. Davis chokes Beefcake with the bottom rope, and Hart comes at Beefcake with the hedgeclippers. Brutus knees Davis in the jaw, and slams him. Hart pulls Davis to the floor, as he seems legitimately dazed from that knee. Brutus whips Davis and locks on the sleeper. Hart tried to interfere but the ref stopped him. Brutus wins *, and then cuts Davis' hair. He also spraypaints him, nWo style. Guess we know where they got that. Thank you, Disciple.  

YOU can watch footage here of Gang vs. Savage at WMIV; I'm not that far in my rewatch of that show. Gene talks to Slick and OMG. "We beat the dude once, we'll beat him again," Slick says.

WWF championship match, One Man Gang vs. Randy Savage (c)- Slick is shuckin' and jivin' on the way to the ring. Gene talks to the champ and Liz. Gene congratulates LIz on being the first woman to manage a WWF champion. Macho's tone toward Liz has really changed at this point. Gang backs Savage into the corners, and Savage uses elbow strikes. Gang tries a crossbody, and falls on top of Gang. OMG tosses him outside, but Savage jumps to the top and gets two off of a bodypress. Savage snaps Gang's throat on the top for two. Gang backs him into the corner and works him over. He picks Savage up by the throat, and chokes him with his boot. Slick then chokes Savage with his cane while Gang distracts the ref. Gang misses a clothesline, and Savage darts outside to chase Slick. When they go through the ring Gang drops an elbow on Savage to turn the tide. OMG Rakes Savage's face, as Slick taunts Savage. Gang misses a charge, and Savage elbows him in the head. Savage clotheslines him over the top, then goes up and drops the axehandle. Gang knocks a cameraman down with him. Savage goes up as the Gang regains the ring, but gets punched in the gut. Big bodyslam, and gang goes to the middle. He misses the 747 splash, and Slick goes after Liz. Savage turns his attention to Slick, and Gang hits him. OMG lifts Savage by the throat gain, but Slick whallops Gang with the cane by mistake. Savage drops the elbow for the win. **1/2. This was a sprited match, Gang held up his end, and made Savage look like a credible champion. And thankfully Hogan wasn't around to steal Savage's spotlight.

Gene talks to the British Bulldogs. Gene says Demolition wants to dip Matilda in chrome, and use her as a hood ornament. The Bulldogs asure him that won't happen.

Demolition vs. British Bulldogs- Ouch, this is even non-title. How the mighty had fallen, though they challenged at Wrestlefest that summer. Jesse interviews the Demos and Mr. Fuji. Matilda apparently be mounted on Fuji's Wineabago, and they'll take it down to the Grand Canyon. Smash and Davey start. Smash pounds on him, but Davey tags Dynamite, who clotheslines and headbutts Smash. Smash grabs the top rope but misses an elbow. Ax in, but Dynamite holds his arm for Davey to jump on. Dynamite back in, but Smash pounds on his back. Doubleteam, and Smash gets a backbreaker. Smash bearhugs Dynamite, who headbutts out of it. Ax gets the tag, and cuts off one for the Bulldogs. Demo doubleteams. Dynamite boots a charging Smash in the corner, and tags Davey Boy. He slams both Demos, and dropkicks Ax. Dynamite gets the tag, but Smash shoulderblocks him down. He heaves Dynamite outside, where Fuji puts the boots to him. The Dogs (with Matilda) chase Fuji to the back. Something, something, Fuji dog joke. I hope she eats him. The Demos also head back, but the refs stop them. You know, people diss how obvious the commercial break spots on Raw are these days, but these SNMEs overuse the "match stops for some reason as people head to the back" spot, too. So of course after the break the match is restarted.

Davey has the cane when they return and is hitting Ax with it. The bell rings, and they double clothesline Smash. Demos win by DQ. * I'm baffled by this whole segment.

Gene is with Superstar Graham and Don "The Rock" Muraco (yep; get used to it). Superstar is gonna fight fire with fire. 

Don “The Rock” Muraco vs. Ted Dibiase- Dibiase tells Gene he was robbed of the belt twice. “I am the champion.” Dibiase attacks as Muraco is distracted by Virgil. The Rock gets a backdrop and punches him down. He rams Dibiase’s head to the buckle, and Ted bails. Graham gives him lip outside. Thry lock up, and Rock shoulderblocked him down. Dibiase misses an elbowdrop and gets clotheslined. Powerslam by the Rock, but Virgil puts his foot on the rope. Graham menaces him after that. Dibiase gets a clothesline for two. Vertical suplex gets another near fall. Side suplex as well. Rock gets a Russisn legsweep coming off the ropes, and elbows him off the ropes. A powerslam gets two. He chops Dibiase in the throat, but when Dibiase begs off he gets sucker punched. Dibiase bodyslams him and gets the pin, even though Rock's foot is on the rope. *

Gene talks.to Savage. Macho Madness has momentum, while Dibiase is.going.to.be bankrupt.

Rick Rude vs. Koko B. Ware- Why is Rude’s music changed on the Network? Just baffling. And then after his promo it's normal again! Hey-Zeus. Rude pounds Koko, who is on the apron. Koko leapfrog, then a dropkick. Koko takes charge but gets cheap-shotted. Rude works his back and kidneys. Snap suplex. Rude drops a chop from the top rope, then chokes Koko on the bottom rope. Rude hits a dropkick, but misses a second. Baaack bodydrop but he misses a splash and clotheslines himself on the top rope. Rude awakening puts him away. *½

Vince and Jesse wrap things up over a couple of segments. This episode wasn't actively bad or offensive, though it featured to WMIV rematches and a couple of matches that were done several times in this era. The fact it took me a week to get through the show is more about me than anything else.

Saturday Night's Main Event #15- Spoiling the other WMIV featured matchup

Randy "Macho Man" Savage tells Ted Dibiase there is no room in the Danger Zone for his kind or his money. "The Million Dollar Man" threatens to bring something worth its weight in gold (Andre). Oh God no- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake is facing Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. The One Man Gang is going to beat Ken Patera. Hulk Hogan will bow to King Harley Race. Hulk says Harley will be crowned like he's never been before. 

From Nashville, Tenn. Jesse "The Body" Ventura says Vince McMahon has the IQ for being from the south, and checks Vince's neck- yep, red. Ha- someone behind Jesse held up a hat saying "shit happens." Gotta love HD.

They show footage of Andre's clean victory over Hulk Hogan at the last Main Event. Jesse thinks it's doctored, and doesn't even looks like Indianapolis. He also claims Hogan hired the twin referee. Jesse says it'll be resolved at Wrestlemania IV. Guess they were allowed to promote Mania this year.

"Mean" Gene is, sigh, with Valentine and Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart. The Hammer is going to tenderize Beefcake with the Hammer. Yep.

Greg Valentine vs. Brutus Beefcake- I saw some sort of documentary on Beefcake on the Network as I was falling asleep today. I'd actually like to see the whole thing, but couldn't find it afterwards. Beefcake- "Don't get into a lather, Mean Gene- when it comes to wrestling, I've got the edge." There were several other barber/scissors puns, but I'll spare you. Brutus chases Valentine out of the ring with the clippers to begin. After putting them down, Brutus pulls out a pair of scissors, which he surrenders to Dave Hebner. I was always amused that Earl Hebner became the WWF's head ref, and was always identified by name. Kayfabe-wise, it seems pretty ridiculous to hire him. It's a shovefest to begin. Hammer knees him in the gut and forearms him to gain an advantage, but gets hit with a high knee. Bodyslam, and Brutus whifs on a big boot, but Hammer does his oversell anyway. He hits an atomic drop, twice. Brutus hits a running elbow to the head, and flips over for a near-fall. Brutus pounds him in the corner, and Hammer takes a flat bump. Hammer cheapshots to take over, and chops Brutus in the throat. Hammer goes up to drop an elbow to Beefcake's head, then hammer winds up before dropping the hammer for two. Rope-assisted figure four, but Hebner breaks it up. Beefer rolls outside, and the Honky Tonk Man walks out and grabs the mic. He taunts Beefcake and mentions WMIV, so that match must have already been announced. When we return Hammer is throwing Beefcake back in, and drops the hammer to Beefer's head. Bodyslam, and he drops his head to Brutus' groin. He snaps Beefer's leg in preparation for the figure four. Beefer pulls him down by the trunks to escape the leglock, and launches Hammer into the buckles. Beefer punches and chops Valentine, and hits a back elbow off of the ropes. He locks in the sleeperhold, as my Chromecast taps out from all of the excitement. The two tumble to the floor, and Beefcake throws him back in. Hart stops Beefcake, and when Brutus chases him Hammer nails the Barber. Valentine back-suplexes him but Beefcake gets his shoulder up and wins. *3/4. Not as bad as it could have been? It was at least less than 10 minutes. While Hart and Valentine continue to celebrate, Brutus cuts off a lock from the Hammer. He then scares away an attacking Hammer with the shears, and pulls off Hart's coat. 

Gene talks to Race and Heenan. Heenan demonstrates how to bow to the King. 

Harley Race vs. Hulk Hogan- I like how SNME has had these dream NWA champion vs. Hogan matches, with Terry Funk and now Race. It was a tag match, but the ultimate matchup like that occurred on the Feb. '92 SNME. We'll get to that, hopefully in my lifetime. Hogan chases off Heenan to begin. He slides in, and Race drops elbow on him. Hulk no-sells, but Race headbutts him multiple times. Hulk finally no-sells that, and punches away. He celebrates, then clotheslines Harley out of his boots (not really), and then onto the timekeeper's table (really). Hogan battering-rams Race to the post, then chases Heenan, who had just returned. Race attacks Hogan from behind, then tries a piledriver. Hogan backdrops him like Andre did to him at WM3. Hogan atomic drop, and he rams Harley's head to the post. Hogan breaks the count, then slams Harley on the floor. Hulk throws him back in, and elbows his head. Hogan chops him down, as I wonder when Race is gonna get some heat. Hogan chokes Race with his wristtape, and Joey Marella does nothing. Hogan clotheslines Race with the tape, then punches and chokes Race. Heenan grabs Hulk by the kneepad. When he pulls him up to the apron and chokes him, Race finally turns the tide. He drops knees and headbutts, then hits a swank belly-to-belly suplex. Race gets a piledriver, then kicks Hogan in the head. Race tosses Hogan to the floor, then positions the table. He lays Hogan down on it, then misses a headbutt onto Hogan and breaks the table with his head. My memory was that being the end, but they head back in. Race goes to the top and connects with a headbutt. Race covers but Hogan kicks out. Hulk Up sequence engaged, and he gets the legdrop for the 1-2-3. It almost looked like they did a second take, as Race started sitting up when he came off the ropes with the legdrop, but on another camera angle he was laying down. ***, I think they retroactively blamed the missed table headbutt for Race taking off most of the rest of the year, with the hilarious graphic of Race's head in the clouds like he had died. Hulk of course poses and does the belt gesture (think Aaron Rodgers).

Gene talks to Dibiase. It's odd they had the Mania IV main event here, but it's not like that match was announced for the ppv or anything. 

Ted Dibiase vs. Randy Savage- Andre comes lumbering out, of course. Virgil was jawing at Liz, so Savage slapped him. Dibiase then came out and attacked him. Dibiase throws him back in and chokes Savage on the top rope. Dibiase hits a back elbow off of the ropes, and stomps his throat. Dibiase rams him to the top buckle, and does the Aaron Rodgers gesture. Dibiase hits an axehandle, then chokes Savage. Andre shoves Savage to the middle of the ring, as McMahon claims that Dave Hebner was finderprinted. Right. Savage hits a back elbow, then kicks Dibiase coming off of the ropes. Savage hits a flying knee to Ted's back to send him outside. Back in, Savage hits an axehandle. He catches Ted's foot and clotheslines him for two. Savage snaps his neck on the top rope, and kicks him to the chest. He elbows Dibiase to the floor. Dibiase hammers him back in, and drops a fist, then an elbow. Dibiase whips him to the corner, but eats a boot on a charge. An elbowdrop gets two. Bodyslam, but Savage misses a kneedrop. Savage kicks out of a figure four attempt, which flips Dibiase over the top rope. Dibiase gets rammed into the apron, but Andre menaces Savage and Virgil cheapshots Macho Man. Hebner ejects Virgil. Dibiase hits an axehandle, and drops an elbow. He locks on a headlock, which goes on for a long time. Savage regains his feet, and hits a shoulderblock an clothesline. He gets a baaaack bodydrop, and Dibiase collides with the ref. Savage tosses Dibiase over the top, then hits a flying axehandle to the floor. Andre headbutts Savage, and rams him to the post. Liz runs to the back, and Andre destroys Savage. The ref wakes up, and Andre acts all innocent standing over Savage's carcass. Dibiase wins by countout. ***1/4. This was a longer match than WMIV, albeit with a worse ending. They continue to work Savage over, until Hogan arrives with a chair. Hulk and Liz help Savage to his feet, as Ventura speculates on whether he'll make it to Mania. 

The Killer Bees vs. Islanders- Ventura interviews the heels. Heenan has like beekeeper's headgear on, and a leash. I like that the graphic for the Islanders is an erupting volcano. Brunzell jumps Tama and slams him. A legdrop gets two. Blair jumps in on Tama's arm, and gets two on a rollup. Brunzell back in, on the arm. Brunzell misses a dropkick, and gets headbutted. Tama suplexes him for two. Haku in, and hits a dropkick for two. Tama gets atomic dropped, but Haku gets the tag. A double-clothesline drops both men, and both make tags. Blair atmoic drops Tama, and cheapshots Haku. He bodyslams both heels, and gets a rollup on Tama. With the ref distract by Brunzell, Haku clotheslines Blair and covers him. *1/2. Quite rushed, but put the Islanders over. I also hate B. Brian Blair, so I was glad to see him get beaten. 

Slick insults U.S. Olympians, and says Gene's son (who I think was on the hockey team) was also a loser. Gene also says the One Man Gang may not be a bad idea for a catcher for the Yankees.

One Man Gang vs. Ken Patera- OMG jumps Patera before he can get his pants off. He then chokes Ken with them. Patera fires back, and whips Gang to the corner. Ken gets a barehug, and even gets Gang off of his feet. Gang rakes the eyes to escape. Patera gets the full nelson (!), and Gang makes the ropes. OMG rams him the corner and splashes him, but Patera turns the tables. Ken whips him into the corner, and hits a knee. He hammers on the Gang, but Gang hits a clothesline that knocks both men over into a pinfall. *3/4. Patera had wayyy more offense here than I expected. Patera tried to slam Gang afterward, but Slick hit him with his cane. 

Gene accuses Hulk of maniacal behavior as of late. There's a lot of that going around these days. Jesse offers a medical diagnosis of Hulk's psyche. Maybe he could speak before Congress today...