We start with footage of Hulk Hogan on (I believe) a USO tour. He even did a zipline-like thing.
Hosted by Vince McMahon and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Piper has a yellow ribbon on, like the stripe down Sgt. Slaughter's back.
Earthquake/Dino Bravo vs. Tugboat/Hulk Hogan- This is the typical SNME blowoff months after a feud ended on the house show circuit, though I guess Hogan and Quake faced off at the end of the Royal Rumble a week or so before this. Hogan starts off with Bravo, and the gorilla shoves him into the corner. They lock up again,and this time hogan overpowers him. Back bodydrop, punch to Jimmy Hart, punch to Quake, atomic drop and Bravo gets pinballed between Hulk and Tugboat. Boat works Bravo's arm. The Canadian tries to get the tag, but can't reach. Tug eats boot on a charge, and gets atomic dropped. Quake gets tagged and misses an elbowdrop. Hulk in, and he punches Tenta and slams Bravo. Hogan bodyslams the nasty stinky wart-infested giant. The faces pinball quake, and Hulk gets a clothesline. Hogan punches and bites in the corner, and tags Boat. The faces do a double big boot. Tug runs into a boot in the corner, and Quake then impressively kicks him. Quake chokes Boat on the ropes. Dino bearhugs Boat until Hogan gets a blind tag, but the ref missed it. Quake and Dino double-slam Boat, and Quake sets up his big move. Hogan though clotheslines Quake as he prepares the butt drop, then gets the legal tag. He quickly big boots and rolls up Dino for the win. * Hulk was obviously ready to be done with Quake (and Boat, really).
We immediately go to footage from the Royal Rumble, as Randy "Macho King" Savage helps Sgt. Slaughter defeat the Ultimate Warrior for the title, since Slaughter guaranteed he'd give Savage a title shot while Warrior said no to that request. Savage did an awesome job in this whole deal, though Slaughter winning the title suuuucked.
Gene with Gen. Adnan and Slaughter. Gene accuses him of employing questionable tactics. "It doesn't matter how I came to power. It doesn't matter what devices I used." I could easily see another, current tyrant saying this. Hint- he was in attendance at Wrestlemania VII. I just knew too much at this point to see Slaughter as a threat. I had watched him for years getting fatter in the AWA, and the first Iraq War was all but finished by this point.
WWF championship, Sgt. Slaughter (c) vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan- Hogan comes out as Duggan's flagbearer, in case there was any doubt who would win this match and who would challenge at Mania. Slaughter shoves Duggan, as McMahon explains Hogan got sent to the back. Duggan eventually shoves Slaughter to the mat. Sarge slugs away and chokes Duggan. Thrilling. Duggan reverses a whip, and punches Sarge in the corner. Baaaack bodydrop, and Duggan clotheslines Slaughter to the floor. Duggan picks him up in a slam position, but Adnan trips him and Slaughter gets two. Adnan then holds Duggan but Sarge whacks his very own manager. Duggan hits a back elbow and "hoooo!s." Sarge kicks Duggan on a back body drop attempt, and chokes Duggan on the ropes. Slaughter drops an elbow with Duggan on the apron, and hits Duggan in the throat with his 2x4. Slaughter stands on him for two. Sarge rakes his back to really up the workrate. He rams Duggan to the turnbuckles, and he no sells.Duggan punches away and Slaughter takes his usual whip to the corner bump. Duggan whips him over the step outside, then into "the iron ringpost." Adnan distracts Duggan, and Slaughter hits him with the chair for the DQ. 1/2* Slaughter works him over with the chair and riding crop, until Hogan runs in. Slaughter whacks him with the chair, and walks out. Hogan helps Duggan to his feet.
The Orient Express vs. The Legion of Doom- Gene talks to the L.O.D. The Warriors make a lot of car-related puns. It's "Oh, what a feeling vs. Ohhhh,what a rush!" Ok, that was clever. Animal throws Kato to the corner, then tosses him from like a front chancery position. Kato chops Animal, then the Warrior chases him around ringside. Back in, Kato gets powerslammed, and Tanaka gets backdropped to the heavens (a dipsy doodle, according to Piper). Hawk and Tanaka come in legally, and Pat gets shoulderblocked down. Twice. Kato grabs Hawk's foot, then the Express double-Irish whip him. Hawk misses a double clothesline, and Kato bails rather than taking one. Animal press slams him back in, though., and Hawk clotheslines him right back out. Animal then clotheslines Kato on the floor. Tag to Tanaka, who flips out of an armbar and gets clotheslined. Noggins are knocked, and Fuji throws salt in Animal's eyes. Tanaka savate kicks Animal, and Kato rakes his face. Kato holds Animal on the ropes and Kato jumps on his back. Animal gets a double clothesline, tags Hawk and he shoulderblocks Kato down. He clotheslines Tanaka, hits Fuji, and the Doomsday Device finishes. * What was the point of this? The Hart Foundation could've squashed the Express; they were the champs heading into Mania.
Gene introduces Jack "Best President since Noriega" Tunney to make the formality of Sarge's Mania opponent.
Sean Mooney talks to Sarge. "Hogan has never faced an opponent like me before. " He says he'll do whatever it takes to win.
Hulk then appears for the umpteenth time on this hour show in the ring. Blah blah, Hulkamania, shooting down his SCUD missiles. Hogan pledged to his countrymen and God that he'll be the next champion. He then leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance. Nope, not over the top at all.
Wrestlemania VII is one of my favorite Manias, but this show was straight-up garbage. No wonder NBC soon canceled them. Oh, and I should probably mention that after the next review, I will finish my ebook collection of these reviews, which will include never before released bonus content. In the meantime, go ahead and click one of the links to the right to buy my previous ebooks. Buy the books!
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