From Phoenix, Arizona (where John Cena doesn't really want to be)
Mr. T is pulverizing a waterbag as "Mean" Gene Okerlund tries to get a word with him about his boxing match with Bob Orton. "This ain't gonna be a fight; it's gonna be a war!" This match was apparently set up on a Piper's Pit.
Gene talks to the "Battling" Bob and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Wow, is Randy becoming his dad. Bob is probably about the same age as Randy is now here. We then see T knocking out a fool in the gym, knocking off his headgear in the process.
Boxing match, Mr. T vs. Bob Orton- I assume T's corner people are somebodies. Orton attacks T while T is on his stool. Even in a worked fight, there's lots of hugging. Hopefully neither will turn their back and turtle up when they're in trouble, a la Floyd Mayweather. I guess he wanted McGregor to give him an illegal blow, but you don't do that in the UFC. The doctor is checking out T's eye after he took a shot. When they get back at it, Orton cheap shots T while the ref is separating them at the end of the round. Judge Ted Blanchard scores the fight 10-9 T. Orton showboats but with the ref distracted by Piper Orton cheats. He tries to have Piper hold T for a shot, but Piper instead gets belted. T knocks Orton out of the ring for the win (?). Piper then wants to go, so T backs the ref up. Orton, though, drops T with a flying kneelift. Orton holds T and Piper whips him with a belt.
Gene talks to T. He threatens he's gonna get Piper.
Gene talks to Heenan (R.I.P.) and King Kong Bundy. Bundy wants Hulk right now. "Anywhere, anytime Hogan." Instead, Bundy will face Steve Gatorwolf.
Steve Gatorwolf vs. King Kong Bundy- Forearms and chops on the jobber. He whips him to the buckle, then in the other corner he splashes him. Bundy insists on the five count. Nothing to rate here. He bellows for Hogan.
Gene talks to Muraco. Heenan is going to be with him. We look at Mr. Fuji with a heating pad, then Gene is back with Hogan. The Hulkamaniacs are going to keep an eye out for him.
WWF championship, Magnificent Muraco vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Muraco gets an early advantage, and rakes Hulk's back. Hulk reverses a whip for a baaaaack bodydrop. Now Hulk rakes the back, and nails Heenan. Hulk punches the Rock down, and whips him to the corner for a clothesline. Atomic drop sends Muraco over the top rope. Hulk rams him to the apron, and it's a slugfest back in. Hulk gets two off of a punch. Headbutt, then Hulk grabs a bearhug. Heenan is poised to jump into the ring, but I'm expecting someone else. Muraco gets out, and drops knees for two. Muraco hits an Asian spike to the throat, and kneelifts him. Heenan is cheering Muraco on. He drops an elbow, then a headbutt to the lower abdomen (which Vince then says). Russian legsweep, and Don hits an Asian spike from the middle buckle. He gets two as the Hulk Up commences. He whips Muraco into the corner for a back elbow. Big boot, legdrop, and Heenan interferes. *3/4 Hulk picks him up buy his shirt collar, and Bundy attacks. Muraco holds Hogan's arms in the corner for the avalanche. He throws the ref out, and hits another avalanche, then a third. People start throwing trash like it's Bash at the Beach '96. Bundy then splashes Hogan on the mat, and Muraco turns him over for another. The heels celebrate as the British Bulldogs finally run in. A doctor is also there. Is it Zahorian?
Hulk does a stretcher job after the break. Gorilla Monsoon climbed in the ambulance. Oooh, Okerlund asked "what hospital are we going to?" It's a medical center, Gene!
The Dream Team and Johnny Valiant talk to Gene. They lost a non-title match to the British Bulldogs recently. Greg Valentine calls the Bulldogs a circus act.
WWF tag team championship, The Dream Team (c) vs. The British Bulldogs- Davey shoves Valentine to start. Atomic drop, and Dynamite Kid cheapshots him. A headbutt gets two. A suplex back in gets two. Dynamite in for a double clothesline and headbutt. That gets two. The Dynamite/Benoit similarities are astounding; I thought that was a young Wolverine for a second. Dynamite collides with Beefcake and tags Davey. He picks up Brutus Beefcake by his wrist. Valentine tags and gets press-slammed for two. The Bulldgos double headbutt Valentine, and Davey drops a knee on his head. A back suplex and headbutt by Kid gets two. A flying knee form the middle buckle leads to a Davey tag. Valentine punches him but gets dropkicked. A small package gets two. Dynamite chops him but gets atomic dropped. Beefcake stomps on his groin, as Albano and Valiant get into it. Both teams go outside to break that up, as SNME rolls on. Dynamite and Bulldog square off, with Davey dropkicking Brutus out of Dynamite's arms and splashing him for two. The heels wishbone Davey and Valetine locks on the figure four. Dynamite gets tagged and headbutts the Hammer. Valentine gets his dander up and slugs away, and drops an elbow from the middle rope. Valentine gets a shoulderbreaker for two. He rams Dynamite to Brutus' boot, and Beefer stomps on his chest for two. Valentine drops a forearm to his throat for two. Dynamite launches him into the corner, and slams him off of the top. Dynamite dropkicks him off the top for two (foot on the rope). Clothesline for another. He gets a snap suplex but Beefer breaks up the pin. Davey dropkicks him out as Valentine and Davey crack heads. The Hammer falls on top of him and gets the pin. ***1/4. FINALLY a great match on one of these shows! This was probably better than the Mania 2 rematch.
Gene is outside the hospital, and knows nothing yet. Despite Hulk possibly being dead, we see his "Real American" video's debut. I think we've all seen this, though I just noticed the guy on the bike hitting a brick wall, which looks like a "Jackass" stunt.
Junkyard Dog vs. Adrian Adonis- Ugh. Chewy, I have a bad feeling about this. Dog flips Adonis by his scarf, and whips him to the post. Headbutt, and Adonis is caught in the ropes as JYD prances around the ring. JYD flips Adonis back in, defying physics. Clothesline for JYD gets two.Adonis goes out and Dog headbutts Jimmy Hart while he hugged Adonis outside. JYD pulls Hart in and somehow Adonis and Hart flip over the top rope together. Adonis played possum and hit a headbutt, and with the ref distract Hart tied JYD's foot to the bottom rope. Adonis chokes away as the ref deals with Hart. Jimmy then cheapshots JYD as Adonis jumps on him. Dave Hebner pulls Adonis off by the hair for choking JYD. Fistdrop as the Dog is now free gets two. Adonis goes for a piledriver, and JYD's legs knock out the ref. Dog rams Adonis into Hart's megaphone, and JYD gets the pin. *3/4
Gene is with Hogan's physician. His lower back, ribs and neck are injured, and they are awaiting the X-rays.
As they recap the show Vince McMahon says Hulk has sent a statement that he's going to leave the hospital in a matter of hours. Yet these are the injuries that he still sold at Wrestlemania 2 vs. Bundy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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