I'm back, and
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper starts promo-a-rama by hissing. Who does he think he is, Stardust? When he gets through with Haku, "Boobsy Heenan" will be crying like Zsa-Zsa Gabor in court. Was that at least timely in Oct. 1989? "Macho King" Randy Savage and Sensational Queen Sherri go "ohhhh yeah!" a lot. The Bushwhackers are gonna give the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers a lickin'. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase has the million-dollar insurance policy- Zeus. Hulk Hogan says he and the Hulkamaniacs are going to stamp all of their checks "insufficient funds." Oh snap.
From Ohio. Vince McMahon takes us back to the coronation of the Macho King.
Jesse "The Body" Ventura asks Savage why risk your crown against Snuka? Savage is on a quest to prove he's worthy of being the greatest king in WWF history. Macho grants Jesse permission to kiss Queen Sherri's hand. Savage also sires Jesse with his scepter.
"Macho King" Randy Savage vs. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka- Snuka says there's no king over the Superfly Jimmy Snuka. "I am a free man." He can likely thank Vincent K. McMahon for that one. Savage attacks him and hits a kneelift. Sunka chops him down but argues with Sherri. He back-kicks Savage when he tries a sneak attack, and hits a flying headbutt. Atomic drop sends Savage to the floor. Snuka goes out and chops Savage, and rolls him back in. Sherri grabs his ankle, and Savage hits an axehandle. Savage bodyslams Snuka, and drops a knee for two. Savage tosses Snuka out, and drops an axehandle from the top. Sherri then kicks Snuka on the floor. Savage drops an elbow to Snuka's throat on the apron, then Sherri chokes him. Savage then boot chokes Snuka. Back in, Savage gets a two count. He rams a knee into Snuka's back, but Snuka is getting his special. He chops Savage down, and headbutts him. He chops Savage in the corner, whips him to the other and clotheslines him. Snuka headbutts Savage, whips him to the corner and hangs him in the tree of woe. Snuka tosses Joey Marella aside, and chokes Savage in the corner. As Sherri unhooked Savage she gave him her pocketbook. Snuka grabs Sherri by her hair, but waylays Snuka with the pocketbook. Savage pulls the tights to take the win. ** Savage bodyslams Snuka, then misses the elbowdrop. Snuka slams Savage, and goes up for the superfly splash. Sherri stands in his way, so when he jumps Savage is up. Snuka headbutts him to the floor, and chases Sherri out of the ring.
SNME is brought to you by Burger King! If you want to give people what they want, sometimes you've gotta break the rules!
Let's go back to the May SNME, to see Zeus attack Hogan as he tried to enter the steel cage. After that, Hogan saved Brutus Beefcake from a Zeus bearhug with a chairshot.
Jesse talks to Ted Dibiase with Zeus. Dibiase buys only the best, including Zeus. Finally, the WWF championship will be his. What will he do with the Million Dollar belt, then? Jesse closes by saying it'll be the biggest beating since Donald Trump whupped Merv Griffin in Atlantic City. What the hell does that mean?
WWF championship, Ted Dibiase vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Mean Gene and Hulk go over the same events we just saw, plus discuss Summerslam. "Hulkamania is wrestling, Hulkamania is the WWF. To become the majority stockholder, you've got to beat the Hulkster." Maybe that's HHH's path to taking over for Vince? Certainly Hulk can't be that tough of an out at this point. His shirt ripping looked very familiar, so I'm guessing the clip was used a lot, or on something I watched repeatedly. They lock up, and Zeus grabs Hulk's ankle in the corner. Dibiase spins Hulk around, but Hulk drops him with punches. Hebner admonishes Zeus while Hulk grabs a headlock. Hogan shoulderblocks him down twice, and Zeus trips Hulk and chokes him on the middle rope. Dibiase misses a clothesline and Hulk punches away, and hits a back elbow in the corner. He punches Dibiase on the mat, and Zeus grabs Hulk again. Dibiase clotheslines him and Zeus blatantly chokes Hogan while Dibiase distracts Hebner. Jake the Snake Roberts then appears for some reason. I guess he was feuding with Dibiase, and was Hogan's Survivor Series team. Hulk gets two off of a distraction rollup. Dibiase misses some elbows, and Hogan punches away. Jake warns Zeus on the outside. Dibiase clotheslines Hulk to the floor, as Jake chases Virgil to the back. After a break Dibiase is working Hogan over. He gets a clothesline for two. Dibiase drops elbows to Hulk's head, and gets two off of a suplex. He hits an axehandle off of the middle rope, and gets two again. He locks a chinlock and appears to be discussing something with Hulk. Half-assed Hulk Up, and he hits a shoulder block before they hit a double clothesline. Zeus hits Hogan in the back when he hits the ropes, and Dibiase drops fists. Ted goes to the top, and drops a knee. That gets two, and we get a full-on Hulk Up now. Big boot, but Zeus sneaks up and grabs his arms. Dibiase accidentally hits Zeus with a clothesline when Hogan moves, and Hulk gets a rollup for the three. **1/2. Hulk and Zeus prepare to square off, but Dibiase hits Hogan from behind. Zeus then executes his deadly head-twisting finisher, and Dibiase locks on the million dollar dream. That seems kind of redundant after the head twister. Jake runs back out with Damian to clear out the heels.
We see footage of "Ravishing" Rick Rude attacking Roddy Piper on the Brother Love Show. Then Jesse talks to Heenan and Haku. Heenan says they're there to have fun.
Mean Gene welcomes Piper back to SNME. He says you'll have to deal with the Heenan Family, and Piper says there was an Addam's Family. He says he's wrestling Sneezy ("Haku," Gene says. "God bless you," Roddy says). Piper also calls his opponent Liver Lips. "I make Hurricane Hugo look like a summer breeze," Piper also says.
Haku vs. Roddy Piper- Once again, Haku is doing "Ravishing" Rick Rude's dirty work. Haku attacks Piper while he stands on the apron. They slug it out, and Piper clotheslines him over the top to the floor. Piper hits a sort of Thesz press off the paron onto Haku, then gets lectured by referee Danny Davis (when did he get reinstated?). Piper then chases Heenan into the ring, and Piper catches him on the floor. While he holds Heenan's legs, Haku clotheslines him. Back in, Haku hits Piper with strikes and a back elbow. A shoulderbreaker gets two. He drops a leg, then heads to the top rope. The pool is dry for his headbutt, however, and Piper starts ramming his head to the mat. Piper lifts Haku up and drops him on his chest. A belly-to-belly suplex gets the win for the Rowdy One. ** That was a breezy little match. Piper signifies that that is No. 1 for the Heenan Family, with four more to go. Heenan yells at Davis for a slow count for Haku's pin attempt.
Gene talks to Dibiase and Zeus. Dibiase is sick and tired of hearing and seeing Jake Roberts. It's his fault Dibiase isn't champion right now. Zeus says Hogan won't have anything to be thankful for at Survivor Series.
Gene talks to Rick "The Model" Martel and Slick.
Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana- Martel came out to "Jive Soul Bro." I don't ever remember that happening before. Martel's Survivor Series teammates the Big Boss Man, Akeem, and the Honky Tonk Man (with Jimmy Hart) follow him out. The Red Rooster, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake and Dusty Rhodes come to even the odds. Martel jumps Santana to begin. Santana grabs his leg and gives him a big atomic drop. Tito then clotheslines him through the ropes, to the floor. Tito follows him out, and slugs away. After rolling in to break the count, Tito continues his assault, and throws the Model in. Martel goes low and forearms Santana. Tito gets a sunset flip on a backdrop attempt, and gets an armdrag. Tito rakes the eyes, and gets a wristlock. He hits a flying bodypress for two. Tito gets whipped into the top buckle, and Martel stomps away. I was sure the Boss Man was about to interfere there. Martel ties Tito in the tree of Woe, but Tito gets out and kicks Martel on another backdrop attempt. They slug it out again, and Tito gets a baaaack bodydrop. He hits the flying forearm, but Slick jumps on the apron. Tito lunges for him, then Boss Man gets up. Dusty gets up, and it's anarchy. This of course leads to a commercial break. After the break things are settled down. Martel beats down Santana, who gets a hiptoss but misses a clothesline. Martel poses inside as Tito's team fires him up. Martel drops elbows and knees Tito in the back. Martel necksnaps him, and works a chinlock. Tito Arribas Up, and they stalemate on a backslide attempt. Tito finally gets it, and gets a near fall. They brawl on the mat, and Martel gets a Boston Crab. Tito climbs up the ropes, and somehow gets on top of Martel for two. I watched it twice, and I'm still not sure what happened there. Martel gets a backbreaker, and goes up. Tito shakes the top rope, and crotches Martel. After he flips to the mat Tito rams his head to the buckle, and to the other corner. He hits a forearm/punch and goes for the figure four. Slick jumps on the apron, though, so Tito cheapshots him. Boss Man ends up in punching Tito, so Dusty saves. Then it turns into a Pier Six brawl with the Survivor Series teams, for I believe a double-DQ. *** The good guys clear the ring.
Gene catches up with Piper after his match. Gene asks if there is a pecking order of Heenan Family members. He says Rude and Heenan call 976 numbers and talk to each other. He says you've got to have people like the Heenan Family, "cause buzzards need to eat too."
Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. The Bushwhackers- I hate the Rougeaus, the Quebecers, and Jacques Rougeau in all forms. Just needed to point that out again. And fuck Jimmy Hart's megaphone and its stupid sounds. The Whackers attack to begin, with Hart pinned behind Raymond in the corner. Luke clotheslines Jacques and he ends up outside. The Whackers take Hart's jacket, corner him and yank his pants off. Jimmy runs away, the Rougeaus attack the Whackers. Raymond puts Butch in a crab and Jacques double kneedrops him. Jacques hits a flying back elbow. Raymond holds Butch but Jacques accidentally flying knees his brother. Butch tags Luke, who punches away. Jacques flips over him but gets clotheslined. Raymond accidentally dropkicks his brother, and the Whackers battering ram and stomach buster Jacques for the win. * They beat the Rougeaus at Mania V too, Jesse.
Gene talks to Hulk, who is holding his throat.
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