New WWF champion The Ultimate Warrior says he won't walk in Hulk Hogan's footsteps. He'll walk where no man has ever been, instead. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan says Haku will make history in Texas and become the WWF champion. He also says Warrior will be another lonesome cowboy.
Vince and Jesse are riding horses in the aisle.
Sean Mooney talks to Mr. Perfect and the Genius. Hogan will show the world his only perfect quality- being a perfect loser. Sounds about right.
Mr. Perfect vs. Hulk Hogan- Here we have your typical SNME feud blowoff weeks or months after the feud ended on the house show circuit. Hulk talks to Gene; I played it twice and still didn't hear anything of note. This is non-title because Hogan lost the belt at Wrestlemania VI. The Genius has a permed-out wig because Brutus Beefcake cut his hair at that event. Hogan shoves Hennig to the buckle, and he goes over the top. Hennig hiptosses Hogan, and Poffo skips around ringside. Vince hypothesizes that Texas isn't ready for the Genius. Hogan hiptosses and slams Perfect twice. Hennig walks it off outside. Hennig pulls hair to get Hulk to the corner, and whips him to the other buckle. Hogan crumples, and Hennig kicks him in the ribs. Hulk whips Hennig and tries for the big boot, but Hennig evades and heads to the floor. Hennig goes over to Genius and Hogan chops him. Hogan whips him to the "iron" ringpost. Perfect cowers from Hogan, who picks him up for a clothesline. Hogan whips him to the corner and follows with a clothesline. Hogan hits an axebomber, and a back elbow sends him over the top to the floor. Hogan pounds on him on the floor, and thwarts an attack attempt by the Genius. Hogan tries to chase him into the ring, but Hennig nails him with the metal scroll. This of course leads to a commercial break. Perfect works him over outside, and rolls Hogan back in. Hennig necksnaps Hogan, and chokes him on the top rope. Perfect drops elbows, but finally misses one. Hogan starts Hulking Up. He whips Hennig to the ropes, slaps his left shoulder, then Hennig kicks that shoulder. I'm thinking that was a signal. Hennig hits the Perfect Plex, which Hogan kicks out of at two. The sequence has also been reignited. Big boot, legdrop. ** This was aiight. Poffo hits him with the scroll, and Hogan tosses him to the floor. I'm surprised Hennig has any credibility left after this, even with his I-C title tourney win. I should note how annoying McMahon is being here with all of his Texas-related references. He says something like "we got ourselves a bar-B-cue!" here, showing his lack of awareness of anything outside his little bubble. See also the story of his introduction to the burrito.
The Mountain Dew Slam of the Night (!) shows Randy Savage doing an axehandle and elbowdrop.
Noted cowboy Rick "The Model" Martel does an ad for Arrogance cologne.
Jesse talks to Earthquake and Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart. Jimmy says something about making Hillbilly Jim squeal like a pig. I didn't get the connection, but I usually zone Jimmy Hart out anyway.
Earthquake vs. Hillbilly Jim- Gene talks to Jim. He rambles about whatever, and at the end he and Gene say hello to Jim's Granny. The only "granny" I recognize is Gladys Gibson. Quake charges while Jim hangs his horseshoe on the ringpost, and Jim gives him chops and punches. He rams Tenta's head to the top buckle repeatedly. Hillbilly then chops Quake, and does a fuckin' cartwheel. Quake then rams his shoulder to Jim in the corner, splashes him once, but misses a charge and gets booted in the head by Jim. Hillbilly claps around Quake's ears, but gets distracted by Hart going after his horsehoe and gets splashed in the corner. Quake does the tremors and butt splashes Hillbilly into obscruity. * Was there any good reason to give Hillbilly that much offense? When was the last time he was relevant before this. Quake gives him two more butt splashes after the bell and drops elbows, despite the Hulkster wrestling immediately before this. Hulk is the worst friend ever, followed closely by John Cena.
We see Martel's commercial for his fragrance, "Arrogance." The two ladies popping up from below makes this even more Val Venis-like (listen to their respective theme songs once).
Jesse talks to Bret "Hitman" Hart and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. When they say the Rockers will have a heart attaack, Jesse adds "sounds like angina to me!' Even Vince is like, "what now?"
Hart Foundation vs. The Rockers- The Rockers tell Gene they want a shot against Demolition, too. Hart starts with Jannetty. Marty goes under and over Bret, but gets hip tossed. Shawn hits a body press after getting a tag. Marty tagged, and they both kick Bret in the gut and get a double Russian leg sweep. Anvil comes in and clotheslines them both. Bret then gets the tag. He shoulderblocks Janntty, who then evades him coming off the ropes and trips the Anvil. Jannetty tags Shawn, who can’t shoulder or slam the Anvil down. A Michaels dropkick gets two, though. Anvil catches Shawn on a crossbody attempt, and gets a big body slam. Bret tagged, and he atomic drops Michaels coming off the ropes. Bret gets a clothesline, then wishbones him. Anvil in, and Bret knees Michaels coming off the ropes. Anvil gives Shawn a baaaaack body drop. Bret in with a head Butt to Shawn’s back, then a neck snap. He drops an elbow to the throat, and whips Shawn hard into the buckles. Anvil hammers Shawn’s neck, and shoulders him in the corner. Anvil whips Bret, who reverses and sends the Anvil in for Two. Shawn gets a sunset flip as Ax and Smash come for a closer look. Bret gets a back breaker, but Bret gets distracted and Shawn drop kicks him out before the break. Bret rams Shawn to the top buckles, as Demolition is still there. Shen eats boot on a charge, but Bret misses an elbow from the middle. Shawn tags Jannetty, who hits a flying back elbow (and gives the Anvil a taste, too). He gets a powerslam, and sweet chin music gets two. Jannetty gets a sunset flip for two. Bret gets a swinging neck breaker, and tags Anvil. The catapult misses, and Shawn gets tagged. Anvil shoulderblocks him for Two, and Shawn clothesline’s him for two. Shawn gets caught on a body press attempt, and gets tossed to the floor. Demolition picks him up, but Jannetty runs over and hits Ax. The Demos spill into the ring, and a schmoz causes the DQ. It was a great match until then. *** It was interesting hearing Jesse be so critical of Demolition; I guess they hadn’t started their official heel turn yet.
Mooney talks about what he did to Hillwilliam, and also Hogan. Gene then talks to Hulk. Obviously things are brewing between the two.
Jesse talks to Heenan and Haku, after a recap of The Ultimate Challenge. Texas will finally have someone and something to be proud of.
Gene talks to the new WWF champion. His first title defense on TV will be against a Heenan Family member. Well that makes a little more sense; before I was wondering why a man who just lost the tag team titles was getting a world title shot. He has been chosen to lead his Warriors through the darkness without fear, and carry the sacred banner of the WWF. He's a different Warrior than the Heenan Family has faced in the past. Haku is only moments away from being obliterated.
WWF championship match, Haku vs. The Ultimate Warrior (c)- Haku chops his throat to start. Warrior kicks and chops, and hits a baaaaack bodydrop. Warrior tries to clothesline him over the top, but he falls and rolls out instead. Haku rolls back in, an Warrior shoulderblocks him. Warrior chops him, and works his arm. He then tosses a charging Haku to the floor. Haku attacks Warrior coming into the ring, but gets his head rammed into the top buckle. Warrior whips Haku, but runs into a knee. Haku drops Warrior after two clotheslines, but Warrior keeps popping up and gets clotheslined again. Haku dropkicks him for two. Heenan lectures the ref. Haku headbutts and chops Warrior, then backbreakers him for two. Haku hitsa back suplex for another two. Haku slams him and hits a splash for two. Warrior then Hulks Up, basically. He clotheslines Haku repeatedly, then shoulderblocks and splashes him for the win. Heenan tried to trip him during that but failed. *1/2. The match did what it was intended to, but started the trend of Warrior getting weak challengers.
Now Martel is playing tennis, at night apparently.
We see footage from Wrestlemania VI, as Ted Dibiase attacked the Big Boss Man before his match with Akeem. Sean Mooney then talks to Slick and Akeem. Slick says Dibiase has upped his ante, and given them an offer they can't refuse. They're going to finish BBM tonight. Slick's promos have been a bright spot on these SNMEs for me; I find them quite entertaining. And that's not even mentioning his dancing.
Akeem vs. Big Boss Man- BBM tells Gene that justice is blind, but not when it comes to payoffs. You can't buy morality, honesty and integrity. And most of all you can't buy him. Things are bigger in Texas, including the beating he's going to give. They slug away to begin. Bossman drags him out of his corner by his feet, and hiptosses the big man. He hits his rope-assisted butt splash, and misses a corner splash. Akeem then splashes him in the corner, as Jesse's going on about this match being dirtier than the Democratic primary in Texas. I don't even know what that's about. Akeem then shakes his ass, and sits on his face in the corner. Is that the first-ever Stinkface? God I hated that when Rikishi did it. Slick was holding BBM. Akeem hits a back elbow and a splash, and BBM kicks out and starts a Hulk Up sequence. Akeem tries a piledriver but gets backdropped over the top. BBM brings him in the hard way, and hits a headbutt. BBM rams his head into the buckle, and AKeem keeps hitting his head even after BBM stops. He hits the Boss Man slam, but Dibiase and Virgil attack him for the DQ. 1/2* They hit a double clothesline, and stomp away. They handcuff Boss Man to the top rope, and work him over. Virgil gets the night stick, but BBM has a key, so he attacks the heels and retrieves the stick. He chases the heels out of the arena.
And yet another "Arrogance" ad. Did they cut out a match or something? This show is filler-a-rama. Oh, and now Mooney is with Heenan. He noticed weaknesses in the Warrior, and "Ravishing" Rick Rude will beat him again, this time for the WWF championship.
Warrior talks again before they sign off. The Harts-Rockers match was good, and it was nice to see a blowoff of Hogan-Hennig, especially since I saw them wrestle in December 1989 at a house show in Milwaukee. The trend of Warrior getting weak opponents as champion had already started, though.
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