ECW Arena - Philadelphia, PA
Attendance: 300
Well, the WWE Network went ahead and added some new ECW content while I wasn't looking, including this episode of ECW, so we'll go ahead and recap this one and then move on to the 9/7 episode next.
The show kicks off with a Stan Hansen promo for the Ultra Clash show on 9/18. You better get your tickets now because with Hansen teaming with Terry Funk against Abdullah the Butcher and Eddie Gilbert, it's sure to be a barn burner. And by that, I mean, they might literally burn down the ECW Arena.
Jay Sulli is in the control center as he reminds us of Ultra Clash and then runs down the card for this episode. Then we get Eddie Gilbert reading the TV Guide wondering when Eddie Championship Wrestling is on the air. Then Eddie goes on and on......and on....for almost 15 minutes!! He references everything from his Beavis & Butthead t-shirt to Jerry Lawler on WWF television. Just a rambling, non-sensical barrage of stupidity. He gives Jay a bottle of Crown Royal which should help Jay's personality a little. This was pretty much un-recappable. Eddie Gilbert was crashing and burning before our very eyes and it wouldn't be long before a changing of the guard.
Match #1: Sal Bellomo and The Sandman vs. Ivan & Vladimir Koloff - ECW Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Final Round Match.
The Koloffs had beaten The Headhunters to advance, while Bellomo and Sandman had defeated Tony Stetson and Richard Michaels. Vladimir Koloff had about a 10-year career that ended in 2001. He currently runs an award-winning chicken farm in North Carolina. This match is not very long and there isn't really much to it. Back and forth action with Sandman doing most of the work for his team until the Koloffs double-team him to put him down. With the ref distracted by Ivan in the ring, Bellomo takes off his boot and hits Vladimir with it, then puts Sandman on top for the pin. * Bellomo and Sandman advance to the finals.
Next, we get Tod Gordon in the ring as he introduces the participants of the Battle of the Sexes battle royal happening at Ultra Clash. So he brings out Peaches, Hunter Q. Robbins III, Tigra, Angel, Freddie Gilbert and a drunk-off-her-ass Sensational Sherri, as they each cut promos that are hampered by poor sound quality of the house mic and the overall suck of the segment. When Sherri comes out, the other participants leave, with Sherri cutting a whacked out promo on all of them. Then Freddie Gilbert comes out to offer her flowers, but is cock-blocked by Angel, who thought they were an item. She grabs him by the ear and drags him to the back, leaving Sherri to continue her screeching, drunk promo. Horrible, horrible, horrible segment.
Match #2: The Super Destroyers vs. Eddie Gilbert & The Dark Patriot (w/ Shane Douglas).
Douglas is introduced as the newest member of The Dangerous Alliance as he just made his debut not long before this. Then before the match starts we get some fake static and we're back in the control center, as Eddie Gilbert states that he pulled the plug on the video calling the match boring. Uhhh....did Eddie forget that he was in that match? That out of nowhere, some older guy who can barely speak white trash English delivers some Dunkin Donuts to Jay then asks Eddie for his autograph. It turns out that the guy's last name is Gilbert also. This is just a low-rent show.
The match picks up with the Dark Patriot in control of things. That doesn't last long, however, as Destroyer #1 (#2?) loads up his mask and headbutts both Patriot and Gilbert. The finish comes when Hunter Q. Robbins III shows up, hands an envelope to the other Destroyer, who promptly turns on his partner, allowing Gilbert to get the pin. DUD - Gilbert & Patriot advance to the finals. And then we don't even get a follow-up on the double-crossing tag team partners angle.
Match #3: Miguelito Perez and Mr. Danger vs. The Headhunters.
Mr. Danger is also known as Mitsuhiro Matsunaga, one of the stars of the W*ING promotion that has been working with ECW at this point. This actually works out to be a pretty okay match. It spills out onto the floor where Perez (Miguel Perez, Jr) gets busted open. One of the Headhunters also blades. Perez looked pretty good while superplexing a Headhunter. Then when the Headhunter hits the floor for a breather, Perez hits him with a dive. The other Headhunter climbs up top for a moonsault onto Danger. The match breaks down into a Pier 6 brawl and the referee throws it out. No contest. ** Best match on the show so far.
Match #4: Stan Hansen and Tito Santana vs. Don Muraco and Shane Douglas.
Tito had just recently won the ECW Championship from Don Muraco and is back to wearing the Strike Force tights apparently. Muraco looks to be in horrible shape here. The match starts off as a competently worked match, but nothing too exciting. Muraco and Douglas control Tito with nerve holds and rear chinlocks until Hansen breaks it up. Tito gets the hot tag and Hansen takes over. Muraco is so out of shape that the ropes break when he is whipped into them. Then we get a run in by Jimmy Snuka, Dark Patriot and Eddie Gilbert. The ref calls for the bell as that is a disqualification. *¾. Gilbert accidentally throws a fireball into Patriot's face as the show signs off.
THE FINAL WORD: What can one say? Eddie Gilbert was booking the promotion and was trying to make himself the focus. The roster was filled with talentless schlubs on the undercard and past-their-prime veterans in the upper card. The control center segments were horrible and unfunny and just showed what a bush league promotion ECW really was at this point. Paul Heyman performed nothing short of a miracle to make ECW even watchable.
UP NEXT: Now we get the 9/7/93 episode of ECW!
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