Castle Recreation Center - Alexandria Bay, NY
Attendance: 1,000
Commentary team: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage and Bobby Heenan.
The Lex Express rolled through Chicago this past week, specifically making a stop at Comiskey Park where Lex met Tim Raines of the White Sox and then threw out the first pitch at a game. It is no coincidence then that the White Sox went on to choke in the playoffs.
Match #1: Tatanka vs. Mr. Hughes (w/ Harvey Wippleman).
Hughes is still carrying The Undertaker's urn around and it is still confusing to me why Hughes didn't have the SummerSlam match with Taker rather than Giant Gonzalez. I mean, I realize that Hughes was gone by the time this show aired but prior to that, all the heat was on Hughes. Anyway, we get a basic match between the two, which means lots of punching and kicking from Hughes and chops by Tatanka. Hughes loses his sunglasses at one point. The match spills to the floor where Tatanka hits a back body drop and makes it back to the ring to beat the count. Lame finish to a dull match. * And what shithole town are they showing up in where there is no air conditioning in the building? Hughes was sweating through his gear.
Here is Part 2 of "Who is Lex Luger?" Lex talks about getting kicked off his college football team for disciplinary reasons, walking into the CFL and winning a job, his time in the USFL and then finally showing up for a job with Championship Wrestling from Florida (mentioned by name). These vignettes are the complete opposite of how to build a star. They should have had Luger run through the weak heel roster at the time.
Match #2: The Bushwhackers & The Macho Midget vs. The Brooklyn Brawler, Blake Beverly & Little Louie.
Oh boy, it's midget madness! Poor Blake Beverly. Beau bails on him and he's left to be jobber fodder for a midget. The guy deserved better, really. Total comedy match with lots of ass-biting and midgets running all over the place. Just like Blake Beverly, my readers deserve better. The finish comes when Luke and Butch place the Macho Midget on the top rope and he jumps off for a splash on the Brawler, who eats the pin. DUD. It should be mentioned that the Macho Midget wore a Macho Man mask the whole time and it's really, really creepy looking because it's so expressionless. The midget would go on and be repackaged as Dink not long after this.
Now we get a contract signing between Lex Luger and WWF Champion Yokozuna with the ring filled with various WWF officials and the President himself, Jack Tunney. You see, back then you knew you had a major angle when Tunny showed up on TV. The authority figure has been on TV almost every week now since Vince was outed as the owner in 1997. Jim Cornette appears and announces that he has been hired as Yokozuna's American spokesperson, which makes sense, as Fuji and Yokozuna complain about shenanigans by the front office because of the language barrier. Luger signs the contract and cuts a coherent, impassioned promo. But nothing happens. One of the more disappointing contract signings you will ever see.
Match #3: Razor Ramon vs. Dan Dubiel.
Razor gets his squash in as he has a match with Ted DiBiase at SummerSlam. Razor's Edge finishes the no-good bum Dubiel quite easily.
Gene Okerlund gives us the SummerSlam Report and runs down the major part of the card. Luger vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Championship. Bret Hart vs Jerry Lawler. The Undertaker vs Giant Gonzalez in a Rest In Peace Match. Mr. Perfect vs Shawn Michaels for the IC title. AND MUCH MORE!
Match #4: The Heavenly Bodies (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. Bobby Who and Mike Bucci.
Bucci would go on to better fame as Nova in ECW. He would then go on to even bigger fame as Simon Dean. He may also be known as the inventor of pretty much every wrestling move ever done. But here he is squash material for The Heavenly Bodies. In fact, he eats the pin after a moonsault from Gigolo Jimmy. Cornette cuts a promo on The Steiner Brothers after the match and the Bodies have a title shot at SummerSlam.
THE FINAL WORD: Not a great show this time around. A less-then-thrilling main event, midgets everywhere biting asses, an uneventful contract signing and squashes galore. Next week, they promise The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Ted DiBiase, Men on a Mission and the Lex Express continues to roll.
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