Saturday Night's Main Event #9- Caged Chaos!

From Hartford, Connecticut

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Paul Orndorff open the promo-o-rama. Orndorff says Hulkamania dies tonight. Hulk Hogan uses judge and jury imagery again in his promo, blah blah. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis is back, looking for revenge on "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. George "The Animal" Steele promises "surprise." King Harley Race is going to teach the Junkyard Dog to bow in servitude. The JYD only bows to the Lord above.

So this is finally it- the first episode I ever saw of SNME. If I recall, we bought a VCR the same day, though I might be remembering that wrong. I do think we got the VCR to record my appearance on an ad for a local telethon. I would also like to apologize for the tardiness of this review; I bought the WWE Unreleased: 1985-1995 set, and never-released historical curiousities trump shows I've seen several times in my lifetime. I recommend the set wholeheartedly, and also suggest that if you're going to buy it, do it from Amazon and click on the ad on the side of this page featuring my Clash book (with Sting on the cover).

"Mean" Gene Okerlund asks Heenan if he's taken out championship belt insurance. Is that because of that  pretentious "The Hartford" insurer that has stupid ads running during baseball these days?

WWF championship steel cage match, Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Danny Davis and Joey Marella are both serving as refs. Alarms should be going off in your head if you don't know where this is headed. Hulk tells Gene it's been a long road, and the cage is a dead end for Mr. Wonderful. Hulk climbs in to start, and Orndorff attacks him. Paul whips him with the belt, and stomps away. Boogie-Woogie elbows lead to him going for the door. Orndorff clotheslines him back down to the mat, and gets to the other side of the cage before Hogan grabs his chair and chokes him on the top. Hulk rams his head into the cage while Orndorff hangs upside-down, then chokes him with his headband. Hogan quickly tries to escape, but Orndorff pulls him down to the top buckle. He chokes Hulk with his ankle, and heads to the door. Hulk stops him, and punches him to the mat. Orndorff grabs Hulk's legs to prevent escape. Orndorff drops elbows and headbutts Hulk, JYD-style. He then rams Hulk's head to the mat. Both get their heads rammed to the cage, and fall to the mat. The two men simultaneously climb out and drop to the floor. Marella raises Hulk's arm, and crooked ref Davis raises Orndorff's. Davis shoves Marella to the mat. While Hogan threatens Marella, Orndorff knees him into the ring barrier. This match must continue...

When we return Orndorff is working Hogan over outside the cage. Paul goes to the top to drop an elbow on a prone Hulkster. He then may or may not have been rubbing a foreign object to Hogan's face and throat. Davis gets carried out by other refs. Orndorff clotheslines Hogan, and drops an elbow, but it's Hulk Up time. Hulk punches and chops Paul, and rams him face-first into the cage. Hulk kicks at Heenan, and rams him again. And again and aGAIN. Backbreaker and legdrop, and Hulk goes up. Heenan then opens the door and grabs Hulk's leg, but gets kicked off. Hulk punches and atomic drops Paul, rams Heenan into the cage, and climbs on out. *** for the drama. This shit was serious when I was a kid. Hulk beats Heenan up some more to celebrate. We then see side-by-side footage of the two men jumping to the floor at the same time. Jesse points out Hogan's legs are bent, and Paul's are straight, so therefore Orndorff reached first.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage and Elizabeth talk to Gene. Savage tells her "I'm the champion, and nobody cares about you."

Randy Savage vs. George "The Animal" Steele- George came out with his LJN figure, which he gives to Liz.  Macho impressively bounced it on the mat, then Steele lifted him by his throat. He rams Savage to the buckles, then slams him, twice. Steele then waves towards the locker room, and Savage throws him down. Savage slams Steele, and goes to the top. Then Ricky Steamboat's music hits and he appears, and Steele slams Savage off the top. Steele throws Savage over the top rope, and George grabs Liz and leaves. Steamboat makes karate gestures at Savage, who of course crushed his larynx with the ring bell. Steele returns, and rips the buckle open. He rubs the stuff in Savage's face and throws it on the ref, then slams Savage. Savage puts on the breaks and sends Steele into the buckles. Macho punches and kicks the Animal, until Steele returns favor, and also bites Savage. Steele gets caught in the ropes, but when he gets out bites Savage's arm. Steele gets knocked out, and then hits Savage with a rolled-up foreign object. Steele then shoves down the ref, and Savage waffles him in the back of the head with the ring bell for the win. * for the match, but the angle was important. Steamboat then returns to prevent Savage from doing to Steele what happened to him. Steamboat rubs Animal's head and pours the buckle stuff on it to calm him down. * for the match, but the angle was important.

Gene talks to Heenan and Race. "I am the king of wrestling...everyone will bow to me in servitude," Race says. Heenan says JYD will be bow-wowing to Race tonight.

Harley Race vs. JYD- McMahon makes a throne joke about Race, natch. JYD says he only bows to the good lord above. Then Gene also makes a throne joke. Class-y. JYD presents his ample posterior to Race, which is probably not the bowing he meant. As Danny Davis talks with JYD, Race punches him and gets two. A flying knee followed by a kneedrop gets two. JYD fires back and whips Race into the post. Race headbutts Race down, but Race gets a belly-to-belly. He drops a headbutt, but it hurts Race more than JYD. Dog then crawls around headbutting Race, and the King does a Flair flop out of the ring. Dog then puts on the robe and crown, which I've seen a million times in the video package on Wrestlemania III. Heenan then attacks JYD from behind, and does an awesome flip sell of a punch. Race then its the Dog with an elbow from the top. Finally the bell rings, and Davis comically raises JYD's arm as he's unconscious on the mat. Heenan and Race try to make Dog bow, but he Dogs Up and chases them away. Davis then grabs the Dog by the waist, but gets headbutted. That was uncalled for. I'll give the match a star, but it was crap. 

Heenan tells Orndorff you are the world champion in the locker room. He's gonna go to WWF president Jack Tunney, and in less than a month the belt will be around Orndorff's waist. I don't think there was really any follow-up on this; by the next SNME it was all Hogan vs. Andre. Perhaps if the rumors of Orndorff on standby to replace Andre are true, this was their way to keep the feud alive.

Gene talks to Adonis and Jimmy Hart. Adrian is apparently leaner and meaner, and back from being injured by Piper.

Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper- Adonis also just comes out in his trunks, not wearing a dress and scarves. Piper tells Adonis (and Gene) he's fighting for pride. Piper throws his kilt at Adonis, and hiptosses him twice, and kneelifts him over the top rope. Adonis does a Flair Flip on the top, and Piper bites him. Piper throws him across the ring by his arm, then snaps it on the top rope. Adonis fires back, and scratches his back. Piper punches away, and slams his face on the mat. Adonis locks on goodnight Irene, but they fall to the floor. Piper punches Jimmy, but Adonis hits him with his atomizer, and sprays Piper in the eyes. Think Martel and Jake. Piper gets counted out by Joey Marella, *3/4. That seems more like a Danny Davis call. Piper then hiptosses Marella. McMahon says Piper probably thought Marella was Adonis. Riiiight.

Gene talks to Hogan. Hulk is getting off on this victory. Eww. He suggests if you run the video of the finish backwards like an old cartoon, then maybe Orndorff won. 

Blackjack Mulligan vs. Jimmy Jack Funk- This is the Battle for Texas, with a similiar graphic to This Tuesday in Texas. JJ is pointing out Mulligan's spurs to the lady ref. Mulligan removes them, and JJ attacks him. BJ reverses a whip, and clotheslines JJ out. He backdrops JJ on the floor. Mulligan presses JJ over his head, drops him, and lariats JJ. A flying back elbow finishes. *. Mulligan then tries to hang JJ. I don't understand why the WWF brought in BJ right after his SON left the Federation. 

THIS has to be the credit sequence that originally had "Take Me Home" by Phil Collins. If I get a chance I'll check my copy of the original.

Saturday Night's Main Event #8- Hung and Bung

Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Damian discuss strategy for his match with "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Savage tells Elizabeth if he loses it's her fault for not correctly polishing his belt. Koko B. Ware will make his SNME debut here. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper will crush some worms later. The Hart Foundation does individual promos, and are then together. They'll give the Killer Bees a Hart attack. Hulk Hogan accepts Hercules' challenge.

From Los Angeles Sports Arena, future site of Wrestlemania VII (damn terrorists).

"Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to Jake. He sneaks up on Gene and puts Damian on his neck.

WWF intercontiental championship, Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage (c)- Macho tells Gene he isn't afraid of snakes. He is in fact going to skin Damian. Jake tries to intimidate Liz with the snake before the match, then gets Macho to hide behind her. It's just so funny to think of what was to come with these three later. Both hit the ropes and threaten a punch to being. Macho pulls hair on an armwringer, and snake does the same. Jake does an armdrag takedown, and Macho freaks out when he gets near Damian. Jake grabs a headlock and gets a takeover, but Savage pulls his hair. Macho misses an elbow, and Jake almost gets a DDT but he slips out. Jakes chases him outside, and kicks his midsection back in to almost get the DDT. Savage fires away in the corner, and Jake eats boot on a charge. Savage gets two there. He rams Jake's face to the canvas for two, then kicks him in the head for another. Knee to the face for another two-count. Jake fires away, but Macho knees him in the back of the head. Savage chokes him on the top rope. When he tries a pin Jake gets his foot on the rope. More near, near-fallin'. He ties Jake in the ropes a la Andre, and Jake leaps to the floor and grabs Damian. He pushes the bag under the ring as they head to break. Jake gets free, and kneelifts Savage as he comes back in. Jake grabs Damian,and then gets the short-arm clothesline for a rope-assisted two. Jake gets a One Man Gang-style suplex for two (foot again on the rope). Jake punches away and drops Savage. Macho kicks him coming off of the ropes, but when Jake tries a DDT Savage gets into the ropes, then goes out. Savage holds Liz in front of him outside, and when Jake goes for Damian Macho knees him into the post. He then drops the axehandle from the top. He gets another axehandle inside for two, but gets punched when he tries another. A knee knocks Jake out, and he pulls out Savage, back in Savage throws Dave Hebner when he tries to break up the fight, then Jake does the same. Savage grabs a chair and Jake gets Damian, and he chases Savage away with the Snake. ***1/2. It was officially a double-disqualification.

We saw "The Selling of Hercules" with Slick and Heenan. So Slick managed him two different times?

Gene talks to Herc and Heenan (I'd say Herc and Jerk, but I think Gorilla dubbed Power and Glory that). I never knew why Herc's complexion was always so pink. Herc repeats "I am the champion," which Gene says just because you say it....

We see Hulk's boobies bouncing for a disturbing five seconds. Hulk said it could have been the real Hercules. Ha, Hulk says he "hung and bung" on the Titanic! Another short-lived tag team referenced there (albeit by an unofficial name, TM Diddly...).  Hulk tells Herc where the power lies.

WWF championship, Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Hercules- Herc offers a test of strength, and overpowers Hulk. What's with the blue kneepads? I thought Hogan's wardrobe was set by this point. Hulk then reverses, but Herc headbutts his chest. Herc runs him into the corner.Hulk reverses a whip and gets a clothesline. Hulk drops him with a high knee, and then chases Heenan off the apron, to the floor, into the ring, and boots Herc but misses an elbowdrop. Heenan's vault over the top was amazing. Herc whips Hogan back-first to the corner, then drops on his back. Herc grabs a bearhug, then gets a backbreaker and bends Hulk over his knee. Herc celebrates for awhile, then gets Hulk in a tortune rack. Jesse claims Hogan submitted, and Herc drops him. He argues with Hebner, who heard nothing. Herc covers without hooking, and Hulk kicks out and Hulks Up. He rams Herc into the corners back and forth, chops him down, then hits the big boot and legdrop. *1/2. The wrestling wasn't any good, but there was a little drama with the supposed submission. 

Jesse talks to Jimmy Hart and "Cowboy" Bob Orton at a restaurant. Orton said Piper used him. He did the dirty work, and Piper got the glory. But tonight, Piper has no friends.

Bob Orton vs. Roddy Piper- We see a special music video about Orton and Piper's friendship. I think it was originally set to "You're a Friend of Mine." Piper talks to Gene with either a bottle of water dumped on his head or sweating like a cokehead. Maybe a little of both. He was rowdy before rowdy was cool. "Magnificent" Muraco is also in Orton's corner. Piper waves Muraco in and Piper swings at him. The ref then throws Muraco out, even though he  hasn't really done anything. Piper fires away at Orton, and bulldogs him. Piper bites his forehead. He whips Orton in the corner, where Orton takes the buckles back-first. Piper fires away on him and gets a two-count. Orton punches him coming off of the ropes, and then kicks him in the lower abdomen. Orton gives him a gutbuster and then drops an elbow for two. Orton misses an elbowdrop, Piper knocks him into Hart, and Piper gets the pin. * I don't think I knew Hart managed Orton during this period. The Muraco/Orton team was managed by Fuji, at least as of Mania III.

Piper tells Gene the work has just begun. "When I'm good I'm good; when I'm bad I'm much better."

Gene talks to the Hart Foundation, and tells them a win would get them closer to the tag team championship. "We are the world," Bret says. Anvil adds "we are the champions."

Killer Bees vs. Hart Foundation- Hart starts with Jim Brunzell. He hits Bret with an impressive flying knee. B. Brain Blair jumps off the top onto Bret's arm. They show an inset promo with the bees masked, though I can clearly tell them apart. Anvil comes in and gets double-teamed. Bret knees Brunzell in the back to turn the tide. They hit the Demolition Decapitation but the ref was arguing with Neidhart and they only got two. Anvil dropkicks Jumpin' Jim in the face. Tag to Bret, and he pounds away. They doubleteam in the corner and Anvil drops him on the top rope. Bret cuts off a tag, and starts the alleged Five Moves of Doom. Bret launches Jim to the floor impressively. Jim gets a shoulderblock and a sunset flip for two, and dropkicks Who. Anvil gets the tag, as do the Bees, but the ref misses it. The Bees put their masks on, and Blair goes in. He takes on both Harts, and the other Bee cheapshots Bret and he falls to the floor. Bee 1 puts Anvil in a sleeper, but Bret jumps off the top to break it up. The Bees switch again, Anvil tags Bret, and he gets small-packaged for three. **3/4.

Gene interviews Frankie the Bird about what he's going to do when he goes to Chernobyl and Leningrad. Koko B. Ware was also there.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Koko B. Ware- Why is Slick's arm in a sling? Jesse talked to them earlier, and his arm was fine! Nikolai is also fine with his honest new manager. This version has Koko coming out to "Piledriver," Nikolai attacks to start. he misses a charge, Koko leapfrogs him, peppers him with rights, and gets on his shoulders for some sort of monkey flip. Two dropkicks get two. Nikolai hits a spinning back kick, and drops the Birdman on the top rope. He slams Koko but misses a kneedrop. Koko goes up to the top for a dropkick, which gets two. Nikolai press slams him into a gutbuster, but picks Koko up. Nikolai goes to Slick for advice, and Koko rolls him up for three. *1/4.

Hulk tells Gene Ventura misinterpreted weaknesses in Hogan. They had equal strength, but Hulk had the Hulkamaniacs. Hulk won't be here forever, but Hulkamania is forever.

Gene interviews Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji  about Don's match with "The Rebel" Dick Slater tonight. Fuji sings "Dixieland" in a famous clip.

Magnificent Muraco vs. Dick Slater- Muraco is assaulting Slater as we return from break. And here's another random ref I don't recognize from WWF TV. What is with them using scabs for the SNME shows? This is network TV! Slater drops the Rock with a right hand, then a back elbow and rake of the eyes with his boot. Slater hits an elbow to Don's head off the ropes to breat up a pin attempt. Fuji puts Muraco's foot on the rope and then trips the Rebel. Muraco then hits him and puts his own feet on the ropes for leverage. *

Check out Jake vs. Savage, at least as an historical curiosity.

Saturday Night's Main Event #7: I'm Roddy Piper, and you're not

I can't take credit for this awesome artwork.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura intros the new season of the show. We then see Jake "The Snake" Roberts in a shower with Damian, which I vaguely remember him discussing on his DVD set. I can't remember if it was his idea or Dick Ebersol's. Johnny V says the British Bulldogs are full of British Bull___. Edgy. Kevin Sullivan's father also yells about Kamala, and Heenan and Paul Orndorff do a promo in front of three mirrors. And Hogan does his usual.

From the Richfield Coliseum in Cleveland. 

"Mean" Gene Okerlund with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. And they show the Flower Shop incident, which is one of three events that cemented my fandom. One of the other two will surely be shown later in this episode. Piper is supposedly too injured to wrestle because of his knee injury. He says if he wants to wrestle, he's gonna wrestle. My God, I thought that shit was deadly serious, especially when Pipes destroyed the Flower Shop.

And here's the second one- Paul Orndorff attacking Hogan during a tag team match with King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd. Orndorff's side of the story is Hogan stopped returning his calls. 

Meanwhile, the Hulkster gets Biblical on Orndorff's backside. Gene gets a rebut from Heenan and Orndorff on "that Albino ape." They reveal Orndorff will be using "Real American." I had forgotten about that bit.

WWF championship, Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Hulk picks Gene up and moves him out of his way on the way to the ring. McMahon thinks Hogan looks like a boxcar coming down to the ring. Hogan misses a charge and Paula fires away. Hogan retaliates and drops him with a punch. Hogan chases Heenan off the apron, and Orndorff clotheslines him over and out. Hogan rams him into the apron. Back in, Hulk chops away and Orndorff is wobbly-legged. Headbutt, and a corner clothesline. Hogan knocks Heenan down again, and Orndorff punches Hulk in the throat. Boogie-woogie elbow is followed by kneedrops. Hogan fell on the timekeeper, and Orndorff chokes him with a cord. Orndorff won't let him back into the ring. Orndorff chokes Hogan with his knee, and an uppercut to the throat gets two. Orndorff bites his nose and a suplex gets two. Hogan reverses a whip and hits a big knee. Hogan slams him, but Heenan grabs his ankle. Hogan drops down to avoid Orndorff's charge, and he topples out. Police then escort Heenan out. When we return, Heenan is locked up in the back. Orndorff has the advantage inside, and does the same offense as before. Orndorff gets a backbreaker, and an elbow gets two. A big clothesline, and Orndorff signals for a piledriver. Hogan backdrops him out. He Hulks Up on Orndorff, and punches away. Big elbow and Hogan clotheslines him. Hogan sets up for a piledriver, and gets attacked by Adrian Adonis. Piper hobbles down on a crutch. He whallops Adonis out of the ring with it, and swings and misses Hogan. Hogan almost hits Piper, but they hit a stalemate. **3/4

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat- Gene talked to Jake in the shower with Damian earlier. Jake tells Gene he should go back to selling encyclopedias, which Gene denies. Earlier Steamboat showed the cameras his dragon. Moving on, Jake works the arm to begin, but Dragon chops out of it, and backdrops Jake by the wrist for two. Armdrag takedown by the Dragon, as Jake tries to get his bag. Steamboat kind of backdrops Jake, onto his ribs instead of a full flip. Outside and in, and Ricky's armdraggin'. Jake misses on a charge, and gets slingshot into the buckles. Dragon hits him then goes up, but hits knees. Both men crawl to their bags, but Jake cuts the Dragon off. Roberts drops the Dragon on his ribs for two. A flying shot to the ribs drops Steamboat. A short-arm clothesline gets two. Jake gets a scoop slam and works on Ricky's ribs. Steamboat chops away but gets kneelifted. A snapmare gets two for Jake. Ricky rams his head to the mat, but gets atomic dropped. Ricky gets a crucifix for the 1-2-3. **1/2. Jake knocks him out of the ring and rams his back into the post. Roberts pulls out Damian, then Steamboat brings out a "dragon" (gila monster, maybe?). Roberts then bails.

Gene talks to Hogan. Hulk was turned on by the 20,000 Hulkamaniac's butts...in the juror's box. He warned Piper not to come into his courtroom, even though he took care of Adonis. Heenan is guilty by association. He says it wasn't a hung jury (and not in the way the Rock used it). Hogan said the verdict is guilty as charged.

The Iron Sheik vs. Pedro Morales- We see Jesse interview Slick and Sheik when they arrived by limo earlier. Piper then comes down via crutch. Originally it was scheduled as Piper vs. the Sheik. Piper ordered Morales out, then whalloped Sheik with the crutch. He pounded on Sheik, but when he threatened Slick Sheik attacked and choked Roddy with his shirt. Roddy gets a small package off of a suplex attempt for the win. *1/2 for the match, but the segment deserves more. Piper is squarely a face at this point.

Johnny V says he knows Mean Gene was in on his men getting robbed of their belts at Wrestlemania 2, as we see a clip. 

Gene talks to Piper, who dumps a cola on his head. He does what he wants. Great promo; I couldn't do justice recapping it. He closes by saying "I'm Roddy Piper; you're not."

WWF tag team championship, 2 out of 3 falls: The Dream Team vs. The British Bulldogs (c)- Dynamite atomic dropped Valentine to begin, and Davey cheapshot him. Jesse was unaware of the 2 out of 3 falls rule here. Slugfest, and Valentine works Dynamite's knee in the corner. Beefcake suplexes the Kid next, and works that knee. Davey gets tagged, and they exchange arm wringers. Beefcake drops him, then holds him for an elbow to the head by Valentine for two. Doubleteams on Davey. Valentine misses an elbow and Davey tags Dynamite. A chops drops him like a tree, but Valentine hits an atomic drop. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker for two. A clothesline gets two, then Brutus comes in and drops elbows for two. Valentine headbutts Kid to the junk, but gets forearmed. Dynamite headbutts him, but Valentine hits the knee and locks on the figure four. Beefcake drops Davey and Kid submits.

Round 2: Gene tells us Adonis may have a shoulder separation from the crutch shot. Valentine is still working the knee, though Kid pushes him off when he attempts a figure four. Brutus in, and he stomps the knee and cheapshots Davey. The Dream Team wishbones the Kid. Beefer stomps away. Brutus (the future Fuckin' Barber) Beefcake does the strut he did as a face, then miiltary presses Kid. He drops him for two, then Valentine drops an elbow. A bodyslam is followed by a missed elbow, and Davey gets the tag. He headbutts Valentine and clothesline him, and dropkicks Beefcake. Headbutt Valentine, then a War and Peace suplex on Valentine for two. Davey powerslams Valentine but Beefcake runs in. Davey puts him in a fireman's carry position, then Kid springboards off Beefer's back with a flying headbutt to make it a fall apiece. 

Round 3: A limping Kid faces Valentine, who goes right for the knee. Kid fights back with headbutts and chops. He gets a snap suplex, but misses a headbutt to the mat. Valentine drops elbows for two. Kid gets the tag but the ref missed it. Beefcake goes off the top with a forearm, and Valentine gets two on the Kid. More work on the knee, but he is kicked off when he attempts the figure four. Beefer and Davey get tagged in, and Brutus backdrops Davey. A clothesline gets two. Brutus with a blatant chokehold, and a headbutt to the junk gets two. Atomic drop by Kid gets two. Brutus gets tagged and shoves Smith. He rakes Davey's eyes with his boot, and Valentine snaps his throat on the top rope. Valentine drops knees to Smiths' throat, and suplexes him for two. Beefcake gets a flying knee, but Dynamite breaks up the pin. It turns into a Pier 6er, and Beefcake misses flying knee in the corner and Davey perfect-plexes him for the win. ***1/4 That was probably better than the Mania 2 match.

Kamala vs. "Leaping" Lanny Poffo- Earlier the Wizard told Gene Kamala is from a tribe that dates back thousands of years. Gene welcomed Kamala back. Kamala misses a chop and Lanny backflips. Kamala throws Lanny and he kips up. Kamala then jumps in the air in response. He kickes Lanny, and chops him coming off the ropes. Kamala rams his head to the buckles, and picks Poffo up by the neck. Lanny fires back, but Kamala rakes his eyes and gives him a double shot the throat. Body slam, splash, and that's it. 3/4* Kamala goes to the top, but Kim Chee talks him down.

I wonder if this is the episode that originally ended with Phil Collins' "Take Me Home" playing over the credits. Here it's "Real American" (which is of course Paul Orndorff's theme).

I'm encouraged that the wrestling is getting better on these shows, plus we're into the era when I started watching, so I will hopefully start enjoying these shows more.

Saturday Night's Main Event #6

From Providence, Rhode Island

Hulk Hogan and the Junkyard Dog will apparently have the Haiti Kid with them. And, oh God, I saw Uncle Elmer in the show's intro. Please don't be so.

We see the Funk's beating JYD/Tito Santana at Wrestlemania 2 by use of the megaphone. They responded to Haiti Kid by bringing along Jimmy Jack Funk.

The Funk Brothers vs. Hulk/JYD- I like how the name "Dory" just wasn't distinct/southern enough for noted hillbilly enthusiast/idiot Vince McMahon, but Terry was apparently just fine. JYD slams Terry and Hoss to start, and Hulk (with Dog's chain around his neck) headbutts the Funks a la JYD. Hoss fails to slam Dog, and JYD responds with a slam. Terry  in, and misses a charge in the corner and rolls outside. Funk runs and grabs Haiti Kid, but he goes under the ring. JYD clotheslines Terry inside. Now we got Hulk vs. Hoss, as Hogan continues to run through the former NWA world champions. The Funks do-si-do on a crisscross, and Hogan gives Terry a big boot and clotheslines Hoss. He slams Hoss and drops an elbow for two. JYD clotheslines Hoss as Heenan calls him an illiterate. Terry and Hoss work JYD over in the corner, and the ref keeps Hogan out. JYD eventually gets the advantage of a slugfest with Terry, and evades a Hoss charge. Hogan in and he throws Terry out. Hart waffles Haiti Kid with the branding iron, and Hulk runs after Hart. Terry kicks Haiti in the head, then JYD carries him to the back as we head to break. Hulk slams Hoss and knocks Terry onto the announce table. Dog is back as Hoss throws forearms in the corner. Hulk suplexes him for two. JYD headbutts Hoss, and when Hogan goes outside Funk hits him with the iron. He rams Hulk into the railing, and JYD slams Funk and then Hulk baaaaaack bodydrops Terry on the floor. Hulk goes back in and Haiti Kid is now back. Hoss punches Dog in the esophagus. Hoss uppercuts him, then tags his brother. A doubleclothesline puts them both down. Terry misses a headbutt from the top. Hogan clotheslines both, legdrops Terry and gets the 1-2-3. *** The Funks hold Haiti so Hart can hit him. Hulk drags Hart and kid out before he can be branded, then Hulk holds Jimmy so the Kid can clap him. Hulk scares the heels off with the bell, and then he and JYD celebrate. 

King Kong Bundy vs. Uncle Elmer- I'm so fucking excited (sarcasm). Bundy weighed 468 at the official weigh-in earlier. Elmer had a bucket of fried pig parts and he stepped on the scales. 430. Vince yee-has as Elmer enters. Sigh. Heenan stays on commentary. Bundy shoulderblocks Elmer but can't drop him. He finally drops, and Bundy chokes him. Heenan  says he looks like  "the Heindenberg in Denim." He slams his giant ass into Bundy to break free, and splashes him in the corner. Elmer misses another one, and Bundy pins him with an elbow. 3/4* 

Adrian Adonis discusses how hot his opponent Paul Orndorff is. Then we see Orndorff and Okerlund in a sauna together in a pretape. I'lI leave the jokes here to Scott Keith in his review.

Paul Orndorff vs. Adrian Adonis- Armdrag by Orndorff and slams to start. I think a young Tim White is the ref here. Orndorff drags Adonis in, and he does a Flair Flip right back out. McMahon is as sensitive as you'd expect about Adonis wearing a dress in the ring, while Heenan takes the sensible "that is his preference" side. Orndorff locks on an abdonimal stretch. It's all even more ridiculous that Vince supposedly came up with this gimmick for Adonis after he gained weight. Adonis briefly takes advantage but gets sent out of the ring. Orndorff pulls Jimmy Hart in, and tosses him onto Adonis. Orndorff airplane spins Adonis, who pulls him to the floor. Orndorff posts him, then chases Hart in to the ring. Adonis waffles him with the megaphone. Adonis has his heat segment, but Orndorff moves before a kneedrop. Adonis slams him and gets a vertical suplex. Adonis flips over in the ropes to get tied up, and dropkicks Adonis. Orndorff then strips Adonis and chokes him with his dress. Orndorff, seemingly enraged with homophobia,  throws the ref down for the DQ. DUD I didn't like this it all, and was embarrassed this ran even in 1986. I'm desperately waiting for these shows to improve. 

We go to Gene and Hulk sitting in the empty arena before the show. First they show King Kong Bundy beating up Hulk in Phoenix on the last SNME. We then see footage of Hogan vs.Bundy at WM2. Hulk has his hit list, and he's going to take out Bundy, Muraco and Fuji one by one.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat- doesn't happen. Jake jumps him right away, DDTs him on the floor, and drapes Damian on him. This garnered mucho heat and I think they had a blowoff at The Big Event.

WWF tag team title 2 out of 3 falls, British Bulldogs (c) vs. Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Sheik- McMahon also doesn't like foreigners singing their national anthems in 'Merica, of course. Davey evades Nikolai and gets two. Davey gets dropped onto the top rope. The Sheik German suplexes him and then the Camel Clutch gets a quick submission for Fall #1.

Fall 2- Sheik gives Davey a baaaaack bodydrop. Bet he couldn't have done that in '91 to Davey. Clothesline leads to an abdominal stretch on the Bulldog. He gets out but misses an elbowdrop. Volkoff clotheslines him and stomps on his tummy. Davey gets a sunset flip but Sheik is distracting the ref. Volkoff rams Davey into the Sheik's boot. Tilt-a-whirl suplex gets two. Davey atomic drops Sheik for two. Nikolai almost gator-rolls Davey for two. Davey hits a back elbow but can't get the tag. Blassie sets Davey on the bottom rope and Sheik jumps on him. Bodyslam by Volkoff gets two. Davey runs him into Sheik for the pin. 

Fall 3- Kid has a torn ligament in his left knee, Vince says. The heels doubleteam Davey. Sheik gets a Boston Crab but Davey makes the ropes. Davey powerslams Sheik but Volkoff breaks up the pin. Davey tags Dynamite, and Sheik puts him in a bearhug. Volkoff then does the same. Another tilt-a-whirl and then the Camel Clutch. As the ref argues with Volkoff, Davey breaks up the clutch and rolls up Sheik himself. It was illegal, and in no way should count, but that was something. **1/2.  

Saturday Night's Main Event #5

From Phoenix, Arizona (where John Cena doesn't really want to be)

Mr. T is pulverizing a waterbag as "Mean" Gene Okerlund tries to get a word with him about his boxing match with Bob Orton. "This ain't gonna be a fight; it's gonna be a war!" This match was apparently set up on a Piper's Pit. 

Gene talks to the "Battling" Bob and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Wow, is Randy becoming his dad. Bob is probably about the same age as Randy is now here. We then see T knocking out a fool in the gym, knocking off his headgear in the process.

Boxing match, Mr. T vs. Bob Orton- I assume T's corner people are somebodies. Orton attacks T while T is on his stool. Even in a worked fight, there's lots of hugging. Hopefully neither will turn their back and turtle up when they're in trouble, a la Floyd Mayweather. I guess he wanted McGregor to give him an illegal blow, but you don't do that in the UFC. The doctor is checking out T's eye after he took a shot. When they get back at it, Orton cheap shots T while the ref is separating them at the end of the round. Judge Ted Blanchard scores the fight 10-9 T. Orton showboats but with the ref distracted by Piper Orton cheats. He tries to have Piper hold T for a shot, but Piper instead gets belted. T knocks Orton out of the ring for the win (?).  Piper then wants to go, so T backs the ref up. Orton, though, drops T with a flying kneelift. Orton holds T and Piper whips him with a belt. 

Gene talks to T. He threatens he's gonna get Piper. 

Gene talks to Heenan (R.I.P.) and King Kong Bundy. Bundy wants Hulk right now. "Anywhere, anytime Hogan." Instead, Bundy will face Steve Gatorwolf.

Steve Gatorwolf vs. King Kong Bundy- Forearms and chops on the jobber. He whips him to the buckle, then in the other corner he splashes him. Bundy insists on the five count. Nothing to rate here. He bellows for Hogan.

Gene talks to Muraco. Heenan is going to be with him. We look at Mr. Fuji with a heating pad, then Gene is back with Hogan. The Hulkamaniacs are going to keep an eye out for him. 

WWF championship, Magnificent Muraco vs. Hulk Hogan (c)- Muraco gets an early advantage, and rakes Hulk's back. Hulk reverses a whip for a baaaaack bodydrop. Now Hulk rakes the back, and nails Heenan. Hulk punches the Rock down, and whips him to the corner for a clothesline. Atomic drop sends Muraco over the top rope. Hulk rams him to the apron, and it's a slugfest back in. Hulk gets two off of a punch. Headbutt, then Hulk grabs a bearhug. Heenan is poised to jump into the ring, but I'm expecting someone else. Muraco gets out, and drops knees for two. Muraco hits an Asian spike to the throat, and kneelifts him. Heenan is cheering Muraco on. He drops an elbow, then a headbutt to the lower abdomen (which Vince then says). Russian legsweep, and Don hits an Asian spike from the middle buckle. He gets two as the Hulk Up commences. He whips Muraco into the corner for a back elbow. Big boot, legdrop, and Heenan interferes. *3/4 Hulk picks him up buy his shirt collar, and Bundy attacks. Muraco holds Hogan's arms in the corner for the avalanche. He throws the ref out, and hits another avalanche, then a third. People start throwing trash like it's Bash at the Beach '96. Bundy then splashes Hogan on the mat, and Muraco turns him over for another. The heels celebrate as the British Bulldogs finally run in. A doctor is also there. Is it Zahorian? 

Hulk does a stretcher job after the break. Gorilla Monsoon climbed in the ambulance. Oooh, Okerlund asked "what hospital are we going to?" It's a medical center, Gene!

The Dream Team and Johnny Valiant talk to Gene. They lost a non-title match to the British Bulldogs recently. Greg Valentine calls the Bulldogs a circus act.

WWF tag team championship, The Dream Team (c) vs. The British Bulldogs- Davey shoves Valentine to start. Atomic drop, and Dynamite Kid cheapshots him. A headbutt gets two. A suplex back in gets two. Dynamite in for a double clothesline and headbutt. That gets two. The Dynamite/Benoit similarities are astounding; I thought that was a young Wolverine for a second. Dynamite collides with Beefcake and tags Davey. He picks up Brutus Beefcake by his wrist. Valentine tags and gets press-slammed for two. The Bulldgos double headbutt Valentine, and Davey drops a knee on his head. A back suplex and headbutt by Kid gets two. A flying knee form the middle buckle leads to a Davey tag. Valentine punches him but gets dropkicked. A small package gets two. Dynamite chops him but gets atomic dropped. Beefcake stomps on his groin, as Albano and Valiant get into it. Both teams go outside to break that up, as SNME rolls on. Dynamite and Bulldog square off, with Davey dropkicking Brutus out of Dynamite's arms and splashing him for two. The heels wishbone Davey and Valetine locks on the figure four. Dynamite gets tagged and headbutts the Hammer. Valentine gets his dander up and slugs away, and drops an elbow from the middle rope. Valentine gets a shoulderbreaker for two.  He rams Dynamite to Brutus' boot, and Beefer stomps on his chest for two. Valentine drops a forearm to his throat for two. Dynamite launches him into the corner, and slams him off of the top. Dynamite dropkicks him off the top for two (foot on the rope). Clothesline for another. He gets a snap suplex but Beefer breaks up the pin. Davey dropkicks him out as Valentine and Davey crack heads. The Hammer falls on top of him and gets the pin. ***1/4. FINALLY a great match on one of these shows! This was probably better than the Mania 2 rematch.

Gene is outside the hospital, and knows nothing yet. Despite Hulk possibly being dead, we see his "Real American" video's debut. I think we've all seen this, though I just noticed the guy on the bike hitting a brick wall, which looks like a "Jackass" stunt.

Junkyard Dog vs. Adrian Adonis- Ugh. Chewy, I have a bad feeling about this. Dog flips Adonis by his scarf, and whips him to the post. Headbutt, and Adonis is caught in the ropes as JYD prances around the ring. JYD flips Adonis back in, defying physics. Clothesline for JYD gets two.Adonis goes out and Dog headbutts Jimmy Hart while he hugged Adonis outside. JYD pulls Hart in and somehow Adonis and Hart flip over the top rope together. Adonis played possum and hit a headbutt, and with the ref distract Hart tied JYD's foot to the bottom rope. Adonis chokes away as the ref deals with Hart. Jimmy then cheapshots JYD as Adonis jumps on him. Dave Hebner pulls Adonis off by the hair for choking JYD. Fistdrop as the Dog is now free gets two. Adonis goes for a piledriver, and JYD's legs knock out the ref. Dog rams Adonis into Hart's megaphone, and JYD gets the pin. *3/4

Gene is with Hogan's physician. His lower back, ribs and neck are injured, and they are awaiting the X-rays.

As they recap the show Vince McMahon says Hulk has sent a statement that he's going to leave the hospital in a matter of hours. Yet these are the injuries that he still sold at Wrestlemania 2 vs. Bundy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Saturday Night's Main Event #4

Before we go back in tiiime, I'd like to encourage you to click on the Amazon link on the right for my ebook "Clash of the Champions: The Story of Sting" (revised edition). There is also a paperback edition, which has done surprisingly well in the UK. I also just finished my second edition of AWA TV reviews, which you can also find to the right.

From the Sun Dome in Tampa. If it's still around, I hope the hurricane doesn't hit it. Seriously, best wishes to everyone in Florida, Georgia, the Carolinas and Texas.

We see Hulk Hogan and "Mean" Gene Okerlund poolside. Hulk makes a Python Protein drink for Okerlund. Then we see "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Jesse "The Body" Ventura spying on the hillbillies poolside.

Vince McMahon runs down the card, and Ventura walks in to hype his match later.  Yes- Bobby "the Brain" Heenan is subbing for him! Upgrade.

Okerlund with Piper and Bob Orton, and eventually Jesse. Blah blah, and that match is first. The hillbillies also say nothing of note to Gene. 

Piper, Orton, Ventura vs. The Hillbillies- Heenan bemoans the hillbillies not wearing gear. Elmer starts with Ventura. This literally may be the only match I've seen Jesse wrestle. I should search on the Network, perhaps. Elmer chokes and drops Jesse. Jim headlocks Jesse, who knees him in the midsection and tags Piper. Now Luke comes in, and I'm not even sure this is the same guy from the previous SNMEs. Orton and Piper doubleteam Luke, and make quick tags. Jesse in, and steps on Lukes head. He then holds Luke for Piper to slap him. More quick tags, and then when Jim tags Luke the ref misses it. Luke finally tags Elmer, and he brawls with Piper. Bearhug, but Roddy pokes his eye. It turns into a pier-sixer, and the heels try to regroup outside. They run back in, and order is eventually restored. Damn. Now the heels triple team Jim. I'm seriously sick of watching these hicks, and I hope they're gone by the next SNME (though I know Jim won't be). Piper gets Luke in a sleeper, but he judo throws Roddy off. Orton uses his cast to wallop Luke, and Piper locks the sleeper back on to get the win. 1/2* Let's please be done with this now.

Ventura is already back in the booth, sadly. 

Gene is whereever in Florida, as it's time for a water slide competition. Jimmy Hart is competing with the Junkyard Dog. The heavier Dog wins. Thrilling. Jesse is somehow there, interviewing Funk. He wants to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated when he beat Hogan tonight. 

We see Funk attacking Hogan with the branding iron in Denver. Hogan says he humiliated me and all of Denver. JYD will be in his corner, and he says some stuff.

WWF championship, Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Terry Funk- It's funny now there's still no standard for the WWF "look" yet. The Denver clip had the ropes in the correct "red, white and blue" order, but SNME doesn't. The mat is kind of blue-gray too, instead of the lighter one we're all used to. And last but not least, Hogan is wearing blue gear instead of yellow, and Funk is in red trunks instead of his disco pants. JYD forces Hart onto a chair outside as we head to break. Hogan reverses a whip and clotheslines Funk, and does Happy Gilmore's bull dance in celebration. I like how they seemingly brought in all of the former NWA champions they could in this era to put Hogan over. I wonder if Dory (or "Hoss," I guess) ever got a shot, too. Hogan clotheslines him over the top. On a drop down Hogan keeps stepped on Funk's back, until Funk takes a comical spill onto the announce table. JYD throws in a chair for Hulk to sit on. I'm waiting for the heat portion that I think I remember to kick in here. Funk chops him but then hogan punches him. To the corner, and Funk does a Flair Flip. Hogan gets two off of a back suplex. Funk goes up but Hogan shakes the ropes to crotch him. Atomic drop on Funk, and Hogan headbutts him. Clothesline, elbow, but no legdrop. Jimmy Hart tries to trip Hogan, gets chased, so he goes under the ring. Funk then chokes Hogan with tape in the ring, and Hart comes back out. Funk piledrives Hogan in the ring, but kicks out at 2.99. Funk stomps on his face, but when he punches Hulk it's Hulk Up time. Back elbow, and the big boot knocks him to the apron. Hulk suplexes him in but gets branding iron-ed by Hart and Funk falls on top. Hogan gets his foot on the rope. Funk argues with the ref, JYD headbutts Hart, and Hogan clotheslines Funk for the win. **3/4. Funk then tries to attack the ref. I honestly remembered this being better.

Funk drags Hart back to the dressing room by the ankle. Hogan tells Okerlund he hasn't had enough. Is there a rematch on the next show?

We see the events leading up to George "The Animal" Steele vs. Randy "Macho Man" Savage. George also frolics at the water park. Jesse asks Savage and Liz if they're planning strategy. Savage is teaching Liz how to swim, which consists of him throwing her into a pool while Jesse laughs.

WWF intercontiental championship, Randy Savage (c) vs. George Steele- Wait- I'm being told by my man Woodrow in the back I jumped the gun and that Savage is not actually the champion yet. Savage is arguing with fans as George literally paws at Liz. Savage is of course irate. Savage bails a couple of times. Then Steele tosses him to the floor. It's really a shame how much time Savage had to waste wrestling Steele in '86 and '87. Punchy-kicky, and Savage pulls Steele out. He runs and pulls Liz in front of him. Steele slams Savage, then rips off the buckle. He puts the padding in Savage's face, but gets distracted by Liz. Savage hits him with an axehandle for the win, then picks up Liz and walks off. 3/4*

Hulk and Gene introduce a 1985 in Review music video. The Network version has obviously changed music. This is actually a longer version of the famous Coliseum Video, um, video I spoke of last time. The song keeps saying "there's a riot in the streets," but I couldn't find it on YouTube. 

Gene talks to Blassie, Sheik and Volkoff. Sheik is there for "moral support," but Gene points out he doesn't have a manager's license. 

Jesse talks to Corporal Kirchner. He is such a scary looking dude. I basically only knew him from his LJN figure. He rides a zipline and drops into a pool.

Peace match: Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner- They shake hands to begin. They break clean against the ropes a couple of times. Um...is Dean Malenko refereeing?! 

Kirchner gets an armbar and a takeover for two. Now a top wristlock, and still a clean break. Nikolair rolls him up with a bridge for two. Corp rolls him up for one. Another small package gets two. Nikolai then headbutts him in the gut, drops him on the top rope, then kneedrops him in the face for the 1-2-3. *1/2. At least there was a little wrestling. Kirchner goes nuts on Sheik and Volkoff afterwards. 

We see video of Muraco surfing and getting mobbed by girls. JYD is basically Kane in these early SNMEs, in that he is everybody's special partner or backup, and the heels cower at him. And oh God, Fuji talks about boiled and fried dog. Someone arrest that man; he admitted it!

Steamboat tells Gene the only thing those guys haven't done to him is defeat him. 

Magnificent Muraco, Fuj the Stooge vs. Ricky Steamboat, JYD- Muraco dropkicks(!) Dog to begin. Fuji throws Steamer to the floor as Muraco works over JYD. Fuj slams Steamboat on the floor. JYD gets a baaaaack bodydrop on Muraco, but misses a headbutt. Fuj uses his karate but gets slammed. JYD armdrags and slams Muraco. A headbutt possibly breaks Rock's nose, but Fuj takes back over. Muraco in and he mises a charge, and Steamer gets tagged. Ricky chops both of the heels, and hits an enzuiguri. He slingshots Muraco into Fuj, then hits a flying bodypress. Fuj breaks up the pin. JYD tagged, and a headbutt gets the win. * Everyone continues to brawl. 

I'm really struggling getting through these early SNMEs. The wrestling is basically non-existent, save stuff like Hogan-Funk. I'm hoping things will pick up in '87 when we get to the shows I saw when they were new. 

Saturday Night's Main Event #3- Halloween Havoc!

We see Bobby "The Brain" Heenan bobbing for apples. He's dressed as Davey Crockett, and "Mean" Gene Okerlund is like a wizard.

Hulk and Andre say nothing, and Jesse Ventura talks to Roddy Piper about interrupting Uncle Elmer's wedding on the last episode.

Gene talks to newcomers Terry Funk and Jimmy Hart. Funk will face the Junkyard Dog, and spits tobacco on the camera.

Vince McMahon welcomes us, as we see fans in costumes. We also see Terry Funk beating up a ring attendant from weeks back. Jimm Hart tells Okerlund that was television tricks, that he didn't really do that. "We got some branding to do!"- Terry Funk in 1985, or Stephanie McMahon in 2017?!

We then see a clip of Funk working the Junk Yard Dog over with his branding iron at Madison Square Garden. JYD tells Okerlund tonight is his day (every dog has, get it?).

Drunk Terry Flunk vs. JYD- The dog cheapshots Funk to begin, then bounces him crotch-first on the top rope. So many of the clips from the Coliseum Video ad come from these early SNMEs. Funk bails, then gets a slam back in. He misses an elbow, and gets slammed. Now JYD tosses him over the top. JYD slams him and headbutts Funk, who rolls out to the apron. Jimmy tried to trip the Dog, so he chases him around outside, then backdrops a charging Funk. Funk punches away back in, then grabs a sleeper. JYD then gets a sleeper of his own, but drops Funk to pull Hart in. Funk waffles him with the megaphone and gets the pin. * The Dog blocks the branding iron and hits Funk with it, then punches Hart in the face. JYD pulls Hart's pants off, and brands his butt.

Capt. Lou (as Julius Caesar) and King Kong Bundy (as Zorro) are about to have a pie eating contest.
We see the first SNME appearance of "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Elizabeth here. Albano is YOUR winner.

Piper's Pit with the hillbilly family. He calls Jim "Mrs. Elmer." He asks Elmer what went on on the wedding night, which Elmer answers is "none of your business." Jim says if Jesse Ventura is such a man, why doesn't he come up here and say his comments from the wedding to their faces. Jesse gets in the ring and says he isn't backing down on nothin'. Bob Orton bends over behind Cousin and they schoolboy him, but Jim and Elmer clear the ring.  I think you can see what is being set up here.

It's time for the Great Pumpkin Dunk. JYD (dressed as a Mummy), Cousin Junior and Tito Santana (also Zorro?) vs. Heenan, Savage and Elizabeth. Heenan cheats because of course he does. Heenan gets seven to Junior's four.

Okerlund with Heenan, Bundy and Big John Studd. They predict victory over Hogan and Andre. Gene calls the faces the Dream Team, while Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake are already tag team champions with that name.

Studd and Bundy vs. Hogan and Andre- Albano is with the faces, possibly to counteract Heenan. Hogan shoves Bundy to start, and drops him with a kneelift. Hogan almost gets Bundy up for a slam, and hits his usual. Andre in, with chokes and butt-related offense. Hogan hits an axehandle from the top, but gets doubleteamed. Studd shoulders Hogan down, but Hogan back suplexes him. Andre back in with chops. Andre accidentally struck the ref, according to Ventura, as a donnybrook breaks out. Another ref comes out and restores order...as Saturday Night's Main Event rolls on. Andre pounds on Studd when we return, and Hogan tags and clothesline him. Vince calls Andre the Big Boss Man as he steps back in. Big boot by the Giant, and Bundy gets Andre caught in the ropes. Bundy splashes Hogan, and the heels doubleteam Andre while he's tied up. Now the ref calls for the bell. *1/2. I know the workers here are horrendous, but I thought a match this big would get more time. Hogan and Andre get their hands raised by Joey Marella. Okerlund talks to them, and Andre "didn't get enough!"

Okerlund tells us we are moments away from a Tito Santana-Randy Savage intercontiental title bout. Cool! So this is even before the title change. Elizabeth is asked why she is managing Randy, and says she's always had an interest in sports. McMahon calls out Okerlund for looking letcherously at Elizabeth. Pot, kettle.

WWF Intercontiental title, Tito Santana (c) vs. Randy Savage- I figured Savage won the belt on his first try, so this is interesting. After some stalling and punching Savage takes advantage, gets hiptossed but hits an axehandle for two. Jesse questions Chico's cardio after that one. Macho slams him and goes for an axehandle, but Tito hits him in the midsection. Tito fires away as a dude in the front row jumps up and down. Tito slam, and Savage bails. Tito fires on him outside, and Savage slides into the ring to cheapshot him. Savage tries a piledriver and they both get counted out. *3/4 Had I known about this match (and been watching at the time), I would have thought it was only a matter of time before Savage won the belt.

We see the famous (at least with my friends) clip of Mr. Fuji seemingly twisting his ears, in preparation for his match with Ricky Steamboat. Then we see what appears to be the Sheik and Volkoff making out, but it turns out they are playing the pumpkin passing game.

We go to Roddy Piper's "rented American house." Ooooh- is this the Halloween Safety Tips as heard on Wrestlecrap Radio? Actually, Piper is wrapping bricks and bowling balls for the children, so probably not. Vinnie Mac conducts the interview, and infers Piper's home in Scotland doesn't have indoor plumbing. One kid is Hulk Hogan, and IS THAT STEPHANIE MCMAHON?! The bowling ball breaks a kid's bag, and Piper steals the candy. To be fair, that's why you use a plastic pumpkin for TorT'ing. The kids gave Piper chocolate covered red peppers.

Hulk tells Vicious Vince he likes what he just saw.

Fuji breaks a break with a karate chop, and a board on his head.

Kung Fu Challenge match, Mr. Fuji vs. Ricky Steamboat- We see a clip of Magnificent Muraco and Fuji choking Steamboat. Ricky tells Gene tonight he will break out the Dragon. Maybe he should crawl to the ring and be all scarily painted up. Anyway, Fuj throws chops that get blocked, then Steaboat chops him and hits an enziguri (!). Fuj kicks his legs like Jose Aldo, and drops a headbutt to the groin, just like Bruce Lee was famous for. More chops and kicks, then Fuj hiptosses Steamboat. Fuj tries a suplex, which Steamboat reverses. What exactly are the rules here? Steamboat goes to the top and hits a dropkick for the win. * Muraco then blinds Steamboat, who gets double-teamed.

Pumpkin Pass- JYD passes to Santana, who passes to a Hillbilly, who passes to Jim, to Albano, who dropped it. Now the heel team's turn- Bundy to Nikolai to the Sheik to Elizabeth. Piper rubs up against Liz for awhile until it's dropped. Savage yells at her, though he should really be mad at Piper. That clip was also in the Coliseum Video ad, and I didn't know what non-sexual thing could've been happening there with Piper and Liz. I unfortunately couldn't find that ad to act as a visual aid. Sorry.